Relationship experts weigh in on the new ‘boysober’ trend that has prompted Generation Z will take a vow of celibacy in order to “find themselves”.
Hope Woodward, 27, who grew up in Tennessee, coined the phrase and made the decision to give up sex and relationships of all kinds for 365 days in an effort to find emotional clarity.
She outlines the rules for becoming a boysober in 2024 on her TikTok, which include ‘no dating apps, no dates, no exes and no situations.’
“You’re not single if someone is occupying your brain space,” Hope added.
Since his theory, many other women around the world have followed in his footsteps and said they are also becoming sober boys, and many have reported feeling better than ever.
Relationship experts said this trend is positive because online dating can be “mentally overwhelming.”
Comedian Hope Woodward (pictured) vowed to take a year off from sex and relationships and called it boysober gong
Georgina Sturmer, counselor and BACP member, said boysober can be good for taking a break from online dating, which can be “mentally overwhelming”.
Councilor and BACP member Georgina Sturmer said Indy100: “The dating scene can be fun and exciting. But it can also feel overwhelming. Choosing to become a “boysober” appears to be an active choice for women to focus on their own identity and needs.
“Rather than being driven to please someone else, to care for someone else, or to transform into someone else.”
Another 28-year-old who tried to become a boysober Carly Galluzzo from New York.
She started dating when she was 16, but after hearing about the boysober trend, she decided to give it a try.
Carly said: “I decided to be single for the first time in forever. I didn’t talk to anyone, I broke up with all my situations.
“I’m now on the opposite side, where I think relationships and couples are actually… very weird.” She concluded: “More people should be single.”
Keeley Taverner, an expert on toxic relationships, told the outlet that the trend is due to a weariness of “friends with benefits” and women being bothered by potential partners.
“Time and energy can be devoted to personal development without the hassle and worry that can be all-consuming when dating in modern times,” she said.
After Hope shared her plan to become a boysober, others followed suit, including Carly (pictured) from New York.
Content creator Mariana (pictured right) also became a boysober and claimed she is now living her ‘best life’
Another TikTok called Mariana Garrido Costa, from Lisbon, also followed the trend. She shared a clip with the writing: “POV, you are living your best life because you are a sober boy and there is absolutely no drama in your life.”
Mariana was sitting in the tube with her friend at the station. She added in the caption: “I’m telling you guys…you should try it.”
Founder and relationship expert at The Matchmaker UK, Lara Besbrode told the newspaper that she believes women increasingly want to focus on their “own growth” rather than that of a relationship.
She said: “Women are making the conscious decision to prioritize their well-being and achievements, finding joy and fulfillment in their independence and reshaping society’s expectations of happiness and relationship status.”
Elsewhere, people took to the comments section of Hope’s TikTok to share their thoughts on the trend.
One said: “I had a 2023 boysober and now I don’t know how to give him up because I enjoyed the peace and quiet too much. »
A second added: “I did a boysober all the way through 2023 and it was the best decision. I go out again slowly and in a better state of mind.
“I was a boysober this year and it was amazing. I love spending time with myself and my friends and I feel so good and grown,” a third wrote.
A fourth added: “I’ve been like this for the last year, it’s so freeing.” Likewise, another said, “I’m so ready for my boy’s sober journey.” »