A woman has exposed the heartbreaking reality of caring for her autistic son with little support from health services.
A mother from Northern Ireland, whose son has a learning disability and has been diagnosed with autism, has spoken about a terrifying incident which left her unable to be alone with 16-year-old Eoin.
Speaking to BBC Spotlight in a new documentary, titled I’m not wellLaura Flannigan revealed how she was once choked by her son, who can become distressed and provoke violent outbursts.
“At one point he had me against the wall of his bathroom and he had his hand around my throat and I just couldn’t get past him,” she explained through tears.
‘And I just thought, well, how am I going to get out of this? And I remember telling my daughter, “Call your dad.” And I was scared, and she was scared… and I just thought, “I can’t be in this situation again.”
A mother, whose son has a learning disability and has been diagnosed with autism, has spoken about a terrifying incident which left her unable to be alone with 16-year-old Eoin.
“It hurt me knowing you were the mummy but you couldn’t be alone with your own son.”
Laura admitted it was “difficult” to talk to her husband Séamus about it, because “I knew it would change everything for him.”
“He’s basically almost like a prisoner here because he couldn’t go anywhere,” he added. “When Eoin was here, he had to be here.”
The mother said that as her son grew, he became “aggressive” and “very agitated.”
“He just didn’t seem to be happy with himself,” she said. “He was starting to hit other people…it became difficult for everyone to handle because he was so big that he was obviously kicking things, throwing them or hitting them.”
“He broke windows, broke someone’s nose, ripped a door off its hinges and put holes in the walls.”
The documentary shows moments where Séamus is forced to restrain a clearly distraught Eoin, using his strength to prevent him from harming himself and others, and attempts to calm him down.
A tender moment in the show shows the family together in a hydrotherapy pool, an activity that refreshes Eoin and helps him relax.
The documentary shows moments where Séamus is forced to restrain a clearly distraught Eoin, using his strength to prevent him from harming himself and others, and attempts to calm him down.
Laura told the documentary that the family is struggling to get regular overnight respite from the Belfast Health Trust, which Eoin is entitled to. However, this is not being delivered.
In a sweet scene, Séamus gently holds and hugs a relaxed Eoin.
Talking to him bbcthe father spoke about the expectations placed on him.
“I could be out of the room and the next second my daughter or my wife calls me because I’ve been kicked out again.” You have to physically put yourself between him and them and get them out of the way,’ he said.
“You think it’s okay, at least I can deal with this and it’s not my wife or daughter who gets hurt.” But then you realize that they can’t be alone with him.
“They can’t have that quality time without someone being there as a bodyguard.”
However, Séamus also talked about the sweet moment he and his son shared in the pool while filming.
“It’s very simple, just splash in the water and play with the waves that push you around,” he said. “He loves that and he loves that you’re there with him.”
In a sweet scene, Séamus gently holds and hugs a relaxed Eoin. Speaking to the BBC, the father spoke about the expectations placed on him.
Laura told the documentary that the family is struggling to get regular overnight respite from the Belfast Health Trust, which Eoin is entitled to. However, this is not being fulfilled.
“It’s very difficult to live like this day to day,” he said. “We want to be there and help him as much as we can, but to do that we need a break.”
‘We need time for ourselves, we also need time for our daughter because obviously she is watching and seeing all of this and it is very difficult for her as well.
‘This is for Eoin. We have tried everything. We have contacted politicians, we spoke to our social workers. “We went down all the paths we could think of.”
Social worker Geraldine O’Hagan, who worked in the system for 30 years and died shortly after working on the documentary, said Eoin’s case is an example of the lack of support provided.
‘Laura tries really hard to stay calm and then there’s dad, who wants to support mom.
The show, which is available on iPlayer, demonstrated other cases where parents were unable to get respites, which are short breaks that can be offered to parents caring for autistic children.
‘They have already had two evaluations. And I look at the evaluations they have received and they are from people with no experience with learning disabilities.
So it’s really not worth the paper it’s written on. There are many inexperienced social workers who arrive without training.’
The programme, which is available on iPlayer, demonstrated other cases where parents were unable to get a break, which are short breaks that can be offered to parents caring for autistic children, from the Belfast Trust and the South Eastern Trust.
As the National Autism Society explains, the respite care available “varies significantly depending on your child’s age and level of needs.”
In England, local authorities are “legally obliged” to provide a range of short breaks including day and evening care, educational or leisure activities and “services available to support carers in the evenings, at weekends and during school holidays”.
In Northern Ireland, respite can be provided to autistic children and their families “if their HSCT identifies it as a need”.
The NAS website said: ‘Some short respite services are specifically for autistic children, while others are generic services for children with all types of disabilities.
“Although it doesn’t always matter whether a service is autism-specific or not, it is important that the people caring for your child understand autism.”
In a statement to the BBC, Belfast Trust said it “very regrets not being able to offer night breaks and is exploring how to reintroduce them.”
“The complex needs of Eoin and Theo (another child in the documentary) make it difficult to organize,” they added. ‘He says he does everything he can to support autistic children. He says he has no record of any official complaints from Geraldine O’Hagan.
Elsewhere, the program heard that ‘the Department of Health says it is currently trying to improve and rethink autism care. But the Minister of Health admits that the current situation is unsustainable.’
FEMAIL has contacted Belfast Health Trust, South Eastern Trust and the Department of Health and Social Care for further comment.
