A woman who was born without a vagina, uterus or cervix asked her mother if she was sad about not having grandchildren in a new family podcast that explores the relationships between children and their parents.
TV presenter Vogue Williams speaks to mums, dads and their adult children to discuss topics they’ve rarely, if ever, talked about in The Mail’s new podcast. The apple and the tree.
These are deep, intimate and revealing conversations that traverse love, pain, shame, sexuality, religion, addiction, identity and more, recorded in the guests’ own homes, and Vogue analyzes what is revealed. has shared at the end of each episode.
In the fourth episode, Vogue travels to Reading to meet Ally, 42, and her mother Wendy, 74.
Ally has Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome, a rare congenital disorder that means she was born without a vagina, uterus or cervix, although this was only discovered when she was a teenager.
Listen to the full interview with Ally and Wendy on The Apple & The Tree podcast:
In the fourth episode, Vogue travels to Reading to meet Ally, 42, and her mother Wendy, 74 (both pictured).
Understandably, this was extremely difficult for Ally and her mother to handle, and Ally lived through some wild years with difficult relationships and risky behaviors.
Ally, now an advocate and spokesperson for the MRKH community, says she has overcome any shame or regret.
Wendy had a “normal” pregnancy with Ally, who also has an older brother, and they didn’t notice anything different until Ally was a teenager.
When Ally came to take her GCSEs, she hadn’t yet had her first period. After going to the doctors, she was sent away for nine months because the medical professionals assumed she would start at some point.
After another nine months, Ally still hadn’t gotten her period.
She said: “They don’t draw conclusions, you don’t believe those conclusions exist, they don’t resort to worst-case scenarios, because they don’t believe the worst-case scenario exists.”
Despite outwardly appearing to be a woman with wide hips and breasts, Ally was eventually diagnosed with MRKH syndrome after an internal examination discovered she had no vagina, uterus, or cervix.
Women with MRKH can create their own vagina through options such as vaginal lengthening or dilation, but this can be a difficult and traumatic process.
TV host Vogue Williams speaks candidly to parents and their adult children to discuss topics they’ve rarely, if ever, talked about in her new podcast Apple & The Tree.
After leaving school a month before her A-Levels, Ally went to Australia to lose her virginity, as she wanted to be somewhere where no one would know about her diagnosis.
She said: ‘Many women with MRKH become a bit promiscuous to demonstrate their femininity. You want to prove yourself and you say, “I’m desirable, if I can’t have children, I want to do well.”
Ally had always wanted to ask her mother if she was sad that she would never have grandchildren, and the podcast offered her the perfect space to do so for the first time.
But Wendy’s response was far from what Ally expected.
She said, ‘Oh, I don’t give a damn!’
Ally asked, ‘Isn’t that right? Don’t you feel robbed, don’t you wonder what she would be like?
Wendy replied: ‘No, honestly and truly. No, I really didn’t with Ally, I really, really, I really didn’t. As much as I love you, I am not a motherly person by nature. I only loved you because you were mine.
‘As I knew from the beginning that you were not going to be able to have children, I adapted to reality.
‘That’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said. Never again. “I’m not just lying, I’m telling my truth.”
Ally and Wendy (both pictured) have always been close, but Ally’s MRKH diagnosis brought them even closer.
As a teenager, Ally (right) discovered she had MRKH, a rare congenital disorder that means she was born without a vagina, uterus or cervix.
Ally said: “That’s good, sometimes I feel like maybe I judge myself, maybe society judges me, because you get to an age where you’re like, ‘I should get married, I should have kids.’
‘I’m a great writer, I’m a great advocate, but sometimes I think I’ve had a catalog of difficulties. Self-esteem and true self-esteem have always been our sticking points together.’
In the podcast, Ally and Wendy demonstrate the closeness of their relationship by candidly discussing topics such as eating disorders, self-harm, drugs, and relationships.
Ally said: “I’ve had a wonderful close relationship with my mum since I was diagnosed at the age of 16 and I think we showed how we can have really difficult conversations about difficult topics.”
Wendy added: ‘The dynamic of our relationship thanks to MRKH has become deeper, more personal than most mother-daughter relationships. It’s actually a blessing.”
Listen to the latest episode of our The Apple & The Tree podcast, hosted by Vogue Williams on Spotify either Apple Podcasts. New episodes released every Friday.
The Apple & The Tree Podcast: Listen wherever you find your podcasts
WHAT IS MAYER ROKITANSKY KUSTER HAUSER?
Rokitansky syndrome, or MRKH (Mayer Rokitansky Küster Hauser), is a congenital anomaly characterized by the absence of the vagina, uterus, and cervix.
Women with this condition will have normally functioning ovaries, so they will experience the normal signs of puberty, but will not have periods or be able to conceive.
External genitalia are completely normal, so MRKH is not usually discovered until women are teenagers.
Rokitansky syndrome, or MRKH (Mayer Rokitansky Küster Hauser), is a congenital anomaly characterized by the absence of the vagina, uterus, and cervix.
Many women can create a vaginal canal through dilation treatment, which uses cylinder-shaped dilators of different sizes to stretch the muscles.
However, if this is not successful, surgery will be used to stretch the vaginal canal.
After treatment, women can have sexual relations and their eggs can be removed and fertilized for use in surrogacy. However, those without ovaries will never be able to have children because they do not produce eggs.
It affects one in every 5,000 live births to women, according to a 1985 article in the Journal of Reproductive Medicine.
Fountain: Center for Reproductive and Adolescent Developmental Disorders