A mother has been criticized for being unwelcoming and “isolating” her daughter-in-law after “excluding” her from a family gathering.
The mother revealed that her family has a secret “code word” that signals an emergency family meeting.
‘This is extremely rare and means stopping what you’re doing and getting over it as soon as possible. It’s just for the kids, no in-laws are invited,’ she shared on Reddit. This was discussed and agreed upon by everyone.’
She explained that the “rule” was because her family was only comfortable sharing bad news with her siblings and didn’t want to worry about being “polite” with her in-laws.
After a recent meeting, the mother’s daughter-in-law criticized her for “excluding her” and said she was “expecting an invitation” next time.
A mother has been criticized for being unwelcoming and “isolating” her daughter-in-law
The mother shared more information about what is considered an “emergency.”
‘My daughter used the code word when she was going through a divorce and needed help. Everyone tells their spouses about the meeting, but not all the important details.
‘Today my husband called an emergency meeting. In short, he needs surgery, I won’t go into more details. Everyone left and I got a call from my daughter-in-law upset because she wasn’t invited to the meeting.’
The mother was confused by her daughter-in-law’s demand.
‘I asked him if he knew what (the meetings) were and he told me that my son explained it to me. She reiterated that she should still be invited and I am excluding her. That she is upset and she expects an invitation next time.
‘I told her that her feelings are not my problem and that she didn’t need to be invited to everything. She called me an idiot.
Hundreds of people criticized the mother for her “insular” behavior and for purposely “freezing” her in-laws.
‘This is so depressing. He does not consider the spouses of his children to be part of his family. I’m sorry for you. “You seem very angry and bitter,” said one.
Hundreds of people criticized the mother for her “insular” behavior and for purposely “freezing” her in-laws.
A second wrote: “This is overly dramatic and sounds exhausting.” It’s almost a cult how they leave spouses aside. That is very isolating and unwelcoming.”
‘Do you really have to call an emergency meeting with the family to tell them that you, an adult, are getting divorced or need surgery?’ asked a man. ‘These are called normal life problems and are not emergencies.
‘Most people only make a couple of phone calls and everyone else knows within a couple of weeks. Definitely some main character energy in this family, especially with the ‘family reunion’ secret code.
But many defended family tradition and respected his decision to first share private matters with close relatives.
“Not everything is for everyone all the time,” said one.
‘I don’t understand hate. “There are some things I would feel more comfortable talking about with my parents and siblings, but not with my brother-in-law, as cool as he is,” another added.
A third wrote: ‘It’s not that strange to share big news with your blood family first. It can be very difficult to announce difficult things.’
“The idea that I need to be more vulnerable with a person simply because someone I love married them is ridiculous,” one woman said.