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A few months ago a special envelope fell into my mailbox. It was a letter from Buckingham Palace.
I was to be awarded an MBE for my services to magazine journalism, a world in which I had spent 25 years of my career editing magazines such as Cosmopolitan and Elle.
I started to think about how I had found myself in that situation. After all, there are no courses on how to be a good leader. No one told me how to navigate to the top.
There was no manual on how and when to take risks, big leaps of faith, and even (whisper it) how to fail to keep going.
How did I do it? The answer is not so simple. I suspect I was wrong as much as I was right. I listened a lot. I certainly looked a lot.
That’s why I’ve put together a list of things I wish they’d told me when I was at the bottom, as well as when I got to the top, to help you achieve professional success, no matter what your field of work. …
You want as many different perspectives as possible. You don’t want an old Yoda to teach you everything he learned, says Farrah Storr
Don’t find a mentor
Every “boss” in the world says “get a mentor.” I know that almost every member of Generation Z thinks that they can’t be successful unless they have someone to constantly encourage them. They are wrong.
When you’re starting out, you want as many different perspectives as possible. You don’t want an old Yoda teaching you everything he learned, including his prejudices. Instead, observe and take notes.
There’s no point lobbying the CEO of your favorite company when you’re fresh out of college because they’re too far along to remember the pain of simply making tea for managers.
Instead, look for someone who is a few rungs ahead on the career ladder. Ask them for advice as if it had just occurred to you. Keep it discreet.
Understand that you won’t be here forever
A career is always in motion, even if you feel stuck right now. In fact, recognizing that you are stuck is the first step to moving forward.
The perfect job only exists in hindsight
We are always told to aim for the top, as if “the top” is where happiness resides. It is not.
Generally the best things are the long hours, the loneliness, the responsibility and the constant fear of losing everything. When I think about the jobs I was happiest in, they are invariably the ones where I struggled trying to get to the top. Things are much freer down there; you have less to lose and people are kinder to you. Remember this the next time everything feels difficult.
We are always told to aim for the top, as if “the top” is where happiness resides. It’s not, Farrah writes.
Getting to the top shouldn’t be a ‘goal’
Charmless leaders tend to be those who chase the top for status rather than purpose. But pursuing something simply because of what you think it communicates to the world about you almost always ends in unhappiness, especially because no one gives a damn whether you’re on top or not.
After the pats on the back, you’re left with a responsibilities-laden job that depends on passion, devotion, and true purpose to get through it.
Link with your boss asking for help
The older you get, the more you realize that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes guts to tell your boss that you’re struggling. And remember: good bosses want to help.
At the bottom of it all, every boss is worried that their staff will hate them. So asking for help is basically a way of saying, ‘I like you and I rate you.’ Who wouldn’t be speechless at that?
Arrive early – to everything
In addition to being well-mannered, people notice these kinds of things. They mark you as trustworthy. And no matter how “casual” a workplace is declared, every office wants someone trustworthy.
Kindness is the secret of networking
When I was 20, I was told that the best way to network was to go out and “meet people.” That meant tipping at all the nausea-inducing work parties, as well as those “networking events” that benefit no one. The truth is, if you don’t have anything substantial to offer, few people will want to network with you.
Networking is not a transactional dance, it’s about being nice. Be nice to someone for no reason other than your own and they will return the favor at some point.
The best-connected people I know are also some of the nicest. They give more than they receive. And they start by giving. Consider what you can do for someone before you think about what they can do for you.
Act your salary
When you get a promotion, you don’t just get a raise. The expectation also changes. So toughen up. Expect things to get harder and people to trust you more than before.
Contact the boss, whatever your role
I was a boss for more than half of my career. It was lonely. So when a colleague stops by to check on you, ask you out, or talk when you’re at a horrible job, know that the boss will always remember this.
Apologize and you will never have a bad day
There’s no way anyone can approach you once you put your hands up and apologize. It’s so disarming that no one can stay angry. Try it… you will be surprised.
