- In her latest agony aunt column, bestselling author Jane Green gives advice to a woman whose dating philosophies have caused concern among her loved ones.
- Do you have any questions for Jane? Email dearjane@mailonline.com or ask below
- READ MORE: My wife stopped drinking and it ruined our marriage
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Dear Jane,
I am a 29 year old woman who has never had a serious relationship. I’ve had adventures here and there, some that have lasted months and others that have only been a few days.
I know this probably sounds strange to some people, but I’ve never really focused on finding my one true love or settling into a happy, blissful marriage.
As far as I’m concerned, the only reason to get married is to ensure financial security. I’m happy on my own and I don’t need to waste my time and energy dating guys who won’t be able to provide me with a more comfortable lifestyle than I can provide for myself. .
So when it comes to dating, I’ll only accept advances from a guy if I know he’s bringing in a sizable bank account.
Dear Jane, I refuse to marry for love and am only interested in marrying a man who will provide me with financial security. How can I make people see that I’m not a gold digger?
To me, this makes sense. But to my family and friends I am a “heartless gold digger.” They go on and on about how I’m “using” men for my own benefit and how “cruel” it is to take such a harsh view of dating.
The thing is, I don’t lie to anyone. I don’t pretend to be madly in love with guys just because I think they’re rich. I’m not looking for these men either. They come to me. And, if I think they are worthy, I agree to go on a date with them.
I don’t see that being a problem?
International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers’ hottest topics in her column Dear Jane, Agony Aunt
But after making the mistake of sharing my dating philosophy with my closest friends and family, it’s all they can talk about. My mom has told me I need therapy and my friends are now telling all the kids they know to stay away from me in case I try to empty their bank accounts.
How do I get everyone involved in my business?
Of,
hard and cold love
Dear cold and hard love,
I think the best way to get everyone into your business is to stop sharing your dating philosophy with anyone.
Frankly, given your beliefs, this would seem to be the best way to catch some poor fool with money to spare; The more you share your feelings with the world, the more people will know and the less likely you will be to find someone.
I find it sad that for you, marriage and relationships are only about financial security. I wonder what your childhood was like and what happened to you that ended your ability to fall in love.
If you haven’t seen a therapist, you may find it interesting to start exploring this, because although it is not necessary, love can be the most healing and transformative thing of all.
Of course, marriages happen all the time that are more like business arrangements, which seems to be what you’re looking for.
Of course, if the man in question knows this is the deal, you’re right, there’s nothing wrong with that. But your mom has said what I suspect many of us are thinking: you’re the one who’s missing out, and while love isn’t an automatic byproduct of therapy, it’s worth doing the work to ensure that your life is as full and happy as you can. could be.