Death, body doubles and a Brazilian butt lift: according to American conspiracy theorists, it’s been a turbulent time for Kate Middleton.
Defeated by abdominal surgery, the Princess of Wales finds her recovery taking its toll in a media landscape demanding 24/7 answers, particularly in the United States, where Kate bait is everywhere, from prime time at the White House, as speculation about her health and whereabouts reaches a fever pitch. .
Meanwhile, many online critics spout increasingly wild theories about her lack of visibility, from botched plastic surgery to a medically induced coma and even slanderous rumors about the strength of her marriage.
They cannot and will not be stopped.
This week’s “proof of life” footage, showing Kate and Prince William looking fit and in good spirits at a local farm shop, didn’t make much of a splash with America’s naysayers.
Worse still, as news broke Tuesday that hospital staff who treated Kate in January may have maliciously attempted to access her medical records, the rumor mill continued to churn.
Death, body doubles and a Brazilian butt lift: according to American conspiracy theorists, it’s been a turbulent time for Kate Middleton.
Defeated by abdominal surgery, the Princess of Wales finds her recovery taking its toll in a media landscape demanding 24/7 answers – particularly in the US, where Kate bait is everywhere, from prime time at the White House, as speculation about her health and whereabouts reaches a fever pitch. .
“That’s not Kate,” TV host Andy Cohen said loudly on X – formerly Twitter – apparently convinced that the farm store footage involved a Kate “lookalike”.
But was the aging, hysterical housewife slapped for such childish musings? Did a little common sense prevail?
No way. There was unanimous agreement among his 2.5 million followers that he had not gone far enough.
“FACTUAL,” American Horror Story actress Sarah Paulson shouted in response.
Now, here’s a disclaimer: as a proud Brit, I accept the fact that I am naturally more respectful to our royal family.
But, seeing with horror the speculation across the Atlantic reaching dystopian heights in recent weeks, I must admit that I am a little disappointed.
It has always seemed to me that the American people have respect and admiration for our 1,200-year-old institution, whose unparalleled pomp and pageantry are the envy of the world.
All of which makes this sudden transatlantic chant of freedom for all a shocking new low in US-UK relations.
It’s definitely not a good idea to use a mother of three – stricken by a serious illness – as a means of entertainment… or to boost her own fame.
Indeed, returning to click-addicted Cohen – who appeared alongside comedian John Oliver on his titular show Watch What Happens Live last week – we were treated to this despicable exchange:
“There’s a non-zero chance that (Kate) died 18 months ago…They could be on a weekend at Bernie’s in that situation,” Oliver said to loud bursts of laughter from Cohen.
What a disgusting pair.
Elsewhere, the full cast of Les Misérables has arrived.
Kim Kardashian made a big statement by signing off on an Instagram post with: “On my way to find Kate.”
Maybe she could find some dignity back there, in the gutter?
Kim Kardashian made a big statement by signing off on an Instagram post with: “On my way to find Kate.” Maybe she could find some dignity back there, in the gutter?
Meanwhile, self-proclaimed feminist Blake Lively slammed Kate’s much-derided Photoshop fail for Mother’s Day, posting her own heavily photoshopped photo in a bid to sell a new range of drinks. Chic!
Then came Christopher Bouzy, Harry and Meghan’s pal – a tech CEO who boasts he started coding at age 9 and who appeared in the Sussexes’ plaintive Netflix docuseries – adding fuel the dumpster fire.
He wildly tweeted on Wednesday morning – particularly after the shocking revelation of the alleged “hack” of Kate’s medical data – that “Kate at Windsor Farm looks ten years younger than Kate”. So no, we haven’t seen Kate in public yet.
“I (am not) a conspiracy theorist,” he helpfully added.
Certainly, as one of the most famous women in the world, we can expect increased scrutiny from Kate.
The Palace also has a lot to answer for for the mess surrounding the botched photo edit and the international fallout that followed.
Combating fake news with a false image – and an information blackout – was a gift to online sleuths and know-it-alls obsessed with exposing some kind of darker “truth.”
“Never complain, never explain” was the late Queen Elizabeth’s ever-sensible mantra – but the Royals should do better to reclaim the narrative.
Indeed, when the British monarchy becomes the joke du jour at the White House, the credibility of this most beloved institution risks being seriously damaged.
In reference to the Photoshop scandal, a reporter asked press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre last week if the White House had ever digitally altered photos of President Biden.
“Why does the (British) monarchy have anything to do with us? No, that’s not something we do here,” Jean-Pierre replied, amid snickers from the press kit.
Subtext: We would never be that stupid.
Self-proclaimed feminist Blake Lively has tackled Kate’s much-derided Photoshop fail this Mother’s Day, posting her own heavily edited photo in a bid to sell a new range of drinks. Chic!
The modern monarchy may not have the same mystique it had when it was ruled by Queen Elizabeth. How could that be possible in the face of endless Montecito back and forth – Harry and Meghan’s royal titles still intact as Meghan prepares to sell her new housewares brand online?
Without a doubt, the crown jewels have been tarnished. But that’s no reason to beat the Princess of Wales with the proverbial diamond scepter.
The truth is that Kate has hidden something. Personal and confidential health information is a fundamental right that most of us take for granted. She doesn’t deserve anything else.
This might not fit in a world where everyone has become too accustomed to privacy-invading social media. A world where the line between reality and fiction blurs and distorts until it becomes unrecognizable.
But it’s the truth. So please step back now OUR Princess.