Seda Pir looks adoringly at the photo of her three-year-old daughter, Ella, on her smartphone.
People often say that they are like two peas in a pod and that she wouldn’t change anything about her precious daughter. Except for his runny nose, stained top and red cheeks.
With just a few clicks on Seda’s digital editing software, all of Ella’s “imperfections” are gone and the image is ready to share on social media.
It’s very difficult to take a good photo, because children are very active and can’t stay still,” explains Seda, 39. “Rather than intervene in the moment, when she is having fun wiping your nose or changing your top, it’s just as easy to digitally erase them afterwards. I think all mothers do it.
Indeed, when the Princess of Wales was criticized last week for “doctoring” a Mother’s Day photo she shared on Instagram, the Mail was flooded with letters from furious mums in her defence.
Seda Pir gets a boost from her daughter, Ella, as they take a selfie. In the photo on the left, her stomach is covered but this has been removed in the version on the right
Last year, a study from the Journal of Media Psychology found that 64% of us edit our images before posting them online. Another survey found that of all the photos women share, family photos are the ones they are most likely to edit.
Some, however, argue that “perfecting” children’s images can cause them to grow up thinking that their natural appearance is not good enough, thereby triggering feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Although removing stains from clothing may be fairly harmless, adjusting the child’s face or body may be deemed less acceptable.
So, what inspires a mom to edit her family photos?
Seda, a full-time mum who lives in Hampshire, made her living as a fashion influencer, so admits it’s second nature to her to fine-tune her images. She has over 10,000 images of her and her daughter on her phone, and before she even takes a photo, she will adjust the photo to be as flattering as possible.
“My favorite tips include using a ring light (a bright, white circular bulb). It removes my wrinkles and all the skin spots on Ella’s complexion.
“For tidying up the image afterwards, FaceTune is my tool of choice. It usually only takes two or three minutes, so why not?
“When I look back on the photos, I want to remember how cute and happy she was, rather than focusing on insignificant flaws.”
But would she continue to edit images of Ella as she grows old enough to understand that her mother is altering her appearance in this way?
“When Ella is old enough to make her own decisions, I’ll probably still edit family photos, but I’ll check with her,” she says. “There will always be imperfections or issues that I don’t want to be the focus of.”
Sadie McGrath has a plethora of apps on her phone to get professional images of her daughter Iona. She edited the original photo, left, to replace her surroundings
But even though some people may disapprove of her actions, Seda knows that if she doesn’t edit photos, she runs the risk of being criticized anyway.
“I have received derogatory comments; one mother asked me why Ella had “droopy eyes” and another wanted to know why I posted a photo with stains on Ella’s clothes.
“Obviously I blocked these people, but such nastiness gets under your skin.
“I would never go so far as to change my daughter’s actual features. But I find myself stuck in knots, worrying that if I post a photo of Ella with a runny nose, will I be told I’m a bad mother for not using a tissue before to take the photo?’
This is why Seda has all the sympathy for the Princess of Wales. “If I feel like I’m being judged and put under a microscope, how the hell must Kate feel when the eyes of the world are on her and her children?
“She’s just a mom like the rest of us, with three kids who never have to sit still. Their clothes will never be perfect and neither will his. It’s no wonder she wanted to tweak the images here and there.
As long as they’re not completely different, a little editing these days is perfectly acceptable. All of us moms do it, so why the hell can’t Kate?
Support worker Sadie McGrath, 34, is another mum who is strongly supporting our future queen.
The mother-of-four – who lives in Birmingham with her 15-year-old daughter, 12-year-old son and youngest daughters Sofia, four, and Iona, two – began digitally enhancing her images two years ago years. “When I had Iona, I became a representative of a company that makes environmentally friendly cloth diapers. I started posting pictures of her wearing them on Instagram and would get a cut if my photos resulted in sales.
“Naturally, I wanted my shots to be the best they could be, so I started looking at what other moms were doing online. Soon I started experimenting using editing tools.
Agatha Wrzesinska uses photo editing tools to hide the eczema patch, left, in the image of her sleeping five-month-old son Leo
“I have tons of apps on my phone, including Lightroom and Photoroom. The basic packages are free and sufficient for the type of editing I do.
“I quickly discovered that I loved the process of photo editing children’s photos to make them more enjoyable.
“My favorite thing is to take a photo of my girls at home and then edit each photo to make it look like they are somewhere much more exciting or glamorous.
“Why have a boring photo of Sofia on the stairs, or Iona in our living room on a dreary old day, when they could be in an ambitious luxury kitchen with the sun streaming in, or perched next to a sumptuous Christmas tree ?
“I guess most people will assume I took the photos at home. I don’t think they would be envious of the chic kitchen decor, but you never know.
It is a process that can be completed in just 20 minutes.
“Family and friends are posting photos with messy backgrounds and their kids captured as they are on Facebook, and I’m the last person to judge anyone.
“But you just have to have eye-catching images on Instagram: there’s no room for a pile of laundry in the background, even though that’s the reality for most of us moms.”
However, it’s not just the background that gets a touch of brilliant shine. Sadie’s children are also enlightened.
“Sofia suffers from eczema and that’s why I will digitally erase it from her skin, or if there is a food stain on her, I will remove it. I also made my oldest daughter smile and I made myself look slimmer.
After Kate was slammed last week for ‘faking’ a Mother’s Day photo, the Mail was flooded with letters from furious mums writing in her defence.
“Girls like to be photographed. Sofia understands that I’m manipulating the images and she will say “wow” when I show her what I’ve done.
“And the comments I get are intoxicating, like ‘nice photos’ and ‘she’s adorable.’ As indulgent as it may seem, such nice compliments are worth it.
This explains why Sadie, who has nearly 28,000 images on her phone, goes to such lengths to capture the “perfect” photo.
“If we’re at home, I tend to take photos when the kids are reading; if we are outside, we will go to a local park. I always check the weather! Spring is ideal with tall grass, trees and flowers in bloom. This means I don’t need to change the background.
“My sister is asking me to take photos of her children and if I can edit her images for her as well. »
As for Sadie’s older children, she admits it’s “harder to photograph them now – they don’t really want their photos taken.” But that doesn’t stop him from changing “also the light or color of the images of them.”
This makes perfect sense to Agatha Wrzesinska, 34, a stay-at-home mother who lives in Edinburgh with her four children, Nico, 13; David, ten years old; Mia, Leo, two and five months.
She has been interested in photography since the age of 20 and primarily uses a second-hand Canon RP camera, which cost her £700 (a £300 Canon PowerShot G12 is the princess’ camera of choice of Wales).
“Like the Princess of Wales, in my spare time I love capturing those precious moments of family life. So many experiences are instant and you’ll miss them and our memories can only hold so much. I like to play with colors and make my photos as attractive as possible. For me, it’s a means of creative expression.
On a more practical level, I can remove all unwanted distractions from photos, from red eyes to unsightly objects in the background.
“People don’t tend to notice it; we are all so accustomed to doctored images that it is quite the norm today. This has been happening for decades in advertising – why shouldn’t we moms do it too?
“I use Lightroom to smooth out discolored skin spots on my kids’ faces. Leo has eczema and I tend to just brush it off. I want my children to be their best.
“I don’t need to defend my actions. I simply remove dry skin from my child’s face or tuck away the bottom. It’s not really a criminal offense, is it?
As for the question of posting a photo online that hasn’t been digitally enhanced in some way, that’s a resounding “no” from Agatha.
“It’s very rare to capture an image that can’t be improved,” she says. “In a nutshell, I would say that 99% of my photos of my family have been digitally manipulated in one way or another.
“Can you blame us moms for sprinkling a little digital fairy dust on our loved ones? If it improves the images, you’d be crazy not to do it.