It usually starts innocently enough with some Coldplay, but then you know it’s game over when Whitney Houston comes in and they start with I Will Always Love You.
So says my poor friend Jessica*, who lives in a beautiful converted barn in an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty in the Cotswolds, and also right next to an Airbnb property that sleeps ten people and has a hot tub in the garden.
‘Middle-aged women are always the worst. The moment they arrive and I hear the snap of the prosecco bottle, my heart sinks,” he laments.
Once, Jessica’s seven-year-old son ran into the kitchen, eyes wide with shock, to tell her there was a naked man in the yard next door. ‘He’s carrying a tray and his dick is hanging underneath!’ shout.
It turned out he was a “butler in the buff” who had been hired by the bachelorette group next door.
Georgina Fuller says residents of the Cotswolds have to put up with hordes of outsiders and, in the words of a friend, “a lot of awful Americans.”
But the worst was probably the young ‘Z-Lister reality TV stars’, who accidentally set fire to the treehouse in the garden after using a fancy silver ice bucket as a makeshift fire pit. Jessica had to call the fire department.
Welcome to life in the Cotswolds, where, along with Daylesford, Jeremy Clarkson and Soho Farmhouse, we endured hordes of out-of-towners and, in the words of another friend, “many awful Americans”.
Every weekend, they invade our villages, pubs and farm shops, all thanks to the increase in rental housing in our quiet and
Honey-colored towns, which have become a mecca for tourists and Instagrammers.
The Cotswolds district, which covers counties such as Warwickshire, Oxfordshire and Gloucestershire, has, as of mid-September this year, more than 1,940 Airbnb property listings.
I feel lucky to live on the scruffy edge of the Oxfordshire-Warwickshire border but, as we are less than half an hour’s drive from Soho Farmhouse (the luxury members’ club and hotel, part of the Soho House chain, which attracts thousands of Londoners), Many of our neighboring towns are packed with overflowing Airbnbs, party houses and holiday rentals.
A friend, who lives on the other side of our nearest town, unassuming Banbury (which, despite its proximity to Chipping Norton, retains a generous dose of pound shops), has three holiday let cottages and Airbnbs in her quiet no passing lane.
She is always blocked on weekends “from” Belsize Park or Wandsworth, by people often knocking on her door asking where the nearest pub is when they can’t get Google maps to work.
I wouldn’t mind too much, but our lane is littered with hideous white Range Rovers! she says.
It turns out one of your neighbors is also an interiors influencer with 26,000 followers and advertises his picture-perfect ‘quaint Grade II thatched cottage’ (‘ten minutes from Soho Farmhouse, 20 minutes from Blenheim Palace, Daylesford and Bicester Village’) on Instagram.
Along with a lot of rowdy Americans, the cottage, which can be booked for £500 a night (including a Daylesford hamper), attracts its fair share of random ‘fans’ and wannabe influencers.
Our friend adds: ‘Most people want to take a photo outside their cabin, which is, I guess, “Instagram famous”, but one time an angry troll threw eggs at their windows and doors. This terrified our 80-year-old neighbor.”
A recent conversation with a local lady who runs a small shop in the heart of a charming nearby village also revealed that there were at least seven Airbnbs and holiday rentals in the centre, including a gypsy-style caravan and a house that sleeps eight people but with no parking outside.
“People come from all over, often in electric cars, even though we have nowhere to charge them here,” he says. ‘We receive all kinds: families, tourists and groups of rowdy boys. They end up parking in front of the store and the post office and stopping our business.’
The Cotswolds are full of rambling cottages rented out for parties and events at various sites, writes Georgina (file image)
A colleague who lives on the other side of the Cotswolds towards Bristol had a group of guys turn up next door with cases of beer a few months ago. They complained loudly that there was cat poop in the gravel and that they didn’t like the decor. Then they discovered that they were not only in the wrong house, but also on the wrong street.
And then there was the couple who spent the night complaining at the local pub that the house they were staying in was full of drug paraphernalia, only to discover that the supposed cannabis pipes were actually kazoos, musical instruments that belonged to the children who lived there.
Airbnb says it’s not the company’s fault. A company spokeswoman notes that the term ‘Airbnb’ is often used generically and many properties are advertised on multiple platforms.
“Airbnb is often used as an umbrella term to describe a number of different types of short-term rental activities, and we have previously been incorrectly linked to issues related to other platforms,” he says.
It’s also worth noting that Airbnb officially banned house parties in 2020 (initially as a temporary measure before making it a global policy in 2022).
“Accommodations rented on Airbnb in the UK for more than 90 nights represent just 0.17 per cent of the UK housing stock and, in the Cotswolds, the average host rents their home for less than four days a month” says Airbnb.
‘Matches are banned and we have seen a 75 per cent drop in the number of match reports in the UK since we introduced this ban.
“While the vast majority of our community are respectful neighbors and travelers, our reservation monitoring technology aims to detect and prevent parties before they start and we take action against anyone who violates our policies.”
When it comes to parking, Airbnb notes that it also works with Neighborhood Watch “to educate hosts through different online sessions and webinars on how to host responsibly, and this includes guidance on respecting local rules around the parking lot.
I’m told that last year, 30,000 Airbnb hosts attended webinars led by Neighborhood Watch.
And no, in this part of the world, it’s definitely not just Airbnbs that cause problems. We’re packed with rambling cottages rented for parties and events at various sites.
Some can accommodate more than 30 people and have all the facilities needed to host wild parties, such as swimming pools, hot tubs and games rooms. These wisteria-clad Cotswold stone mansions and Jacobean manors don’t come cheap either, often costing upwards of £5,000 for just two nights.
The famous Arlington Row of quaint cottages in Bibury, probably the most photographed place in the Cotswolds
One can only imagine how the local villagers receive these guests, but considering those in Bibury who are currently trying to ban buses to help ease traffic, it’s not right.
A friend, who used to live near the famous Arlington Row of quaint cottages in Bibury, probably the most photographed place in the Cotswolds, was once sunbathing French style (if you know what I mean) in her back garden only to find a tourist who had I got lost when passing through the door. She was horrified and, after this happened one too many times, decided to up and move to the less touristy Stroud.
Then there is Bourton-on-the-Water, also known as the “Venice of the Cotswolds” with its ornate stone bridges, where several residents are trying to convince the parish council to explore the radical solution of banning vehicles and introducing a return service. -Tourist point 30 minutes walk outside the town. Maybe hoping they are too lazy to bother and go back to the trainer.
As for my friend Jessica, she’s just relieved that summer is over and fall, which is usually much quieter, has arrived. Although with the October half term just around the corner, there will no doubt be some bookings from families next door.
“I once came home to find two little boys in our game room using my son’s Xbox,” he recalls.
“They had seen the back door was open and walked in when their parents weren’t looking.”
Naked butlers, entitled children and traffic jams of white Range Rovers – it’s no wonder the placid residents of the Cotswolds are fed up.
*Name has been changed