A mum has sparked debate after revealing she refused to let her daughter wear her wedding dress because she wanted to take off the skirt and use the bodice as trousers so she could wear a suit on her special day.
The anonymous mother, 44, took to Reddit to explain that her 25-year-old daughter, whom she did not name, is married to her girlfriend, 27, and wants to significantly alter the wedding dress she now married. -husband died in.
She explained that she had promised her daughter her wedding dress when she was younger, but now she wants to wear a suit instead of a dress, so she plans to remove the skirt part of the dress so she can show off the bodice with pants.
The mother has now questioned whether she is wrong for refusing to allow her daughter to transform the dress into a yarn titled: ‘Am I the idiot?,’ and sparked a fiery conversation.
A mother sparked debate after revealing she refused to let her daughter wear her wedding dress because she wanted to alter it too much (file image)
She said: ‘My (44f) daughter (25f) is getting married later this year to her girlfriend (27f)
“I always dreamed of walking her down the aisle (my husband passed away when she was a child) and she enjoyed talking about a future wedding and playing bride as a child, picking flowers, colors and places.
‘He loved watching my wedding videos and watching me and his father get married and it was important to our bond. When I was thirteen, I promised her my wedding dress.
The anonymous mother explained that when her daughter became a teenager, her style became more masculine and she started wearing only pants.
When he got a girlfriend and proposed to her, his mother supported her.
The post read: “I’ve always been very supportive of all of this, even when he met his girlfriend and proposed to her.” I have encouraged her as much as I can. I’m contributing significantly to the wedding.’
And although things between her and her daughter were always calm, they began to run into troubled waters when she didn’t want her to alter her wedding dress.
She added: “I recently called her and asked when she wanted me to bring her the dress as it would probably need slight alterations and she told me she wanted to wear a suit and have my wedding dress altered to take the skirt off.” portion so that the bodice could be worn with pants. At first I agreed, but it took me a while to get the dress.
The anonymous mother, 44, took to Reddit to explain that her 25-year-old daughter, whom she did not name, is married to her girlfriend, 27, and wants to take off her skirt.
Despite having told her daughter yes, the mother still wasn’t sure she wanted to give up her dress.
She said: “After a few weeks I changed my mind and told her the dress was important to me and I didn’t want her to ruin it.” When I promised you the dress it was because I thought you would wear it as a dress, and you can only wear it if it is a dress.
“I offered to his girlfriend that she could wear it as a dress, but my daughter said that would ruin it anyway (her girlfriend is a much bigger woman than me, so it would need more alterations) and she hasn’t responded to my questions since. messages except saying that the dress would be a connection to her father, so she feels disappointed that she doesn’t have it.
“I offered to go shopping for a dress with her to replace it, but apparently some members of our family think I’ll stop her from having the dress because I don’t agree with her being masculine.”
At the end of the post, he questioned whether he was an ‘asshole.’
People flooded the comments section and shared their thoughts, and the post sparked intense debate.
Some people criticized the mother and sided with the daughter, adding that she should be able to alter the dress.
Some people criticized the mother and sided with the daughter, adding that she should be able to alter the dress.
One person said: ‘No, it wouldn’t be destroyed. The skirts can be put back on. Putting on or taking off a wedding dress (as OP was willing to do for her daughter’s fiancée) often involves removing parts of the skirt to adjust the gathering.
Another user added: ‘I really think you’re not considering all the possibilities here.
‘For example, my wedding dress was A-line with princess seams and had appliques on the bodice. There is literally no way to “separate” the skirt from the bodice without cutting it completely, since the “panels” are vertical.
“It’s not a common style anymore, but it was kind of popular in the ’90s, which I suspect would be around the time this lady got married.”
Another person said: ‘I’m not sure if OP is talking about ‘destroy it forever.’ As I understand it, his daughter wants to take off her bra and wear pants with it. Technically, there’s nothing stopping OP from retrieving the bodice and asking the seamstress to reattach the skirt after the wedding.’
Someone else commented: ‘YTA. It’s okay to say something like, “I know I promised you when you were a little girl, but the dress is very important to me as it is, as a memory of your father.” Then it would be NA H.
But your post absolutely oozes disdain that you barely try to hide. You are a daring SUIT like it’s so shocking and wrong. You tell him you don’t want him to “ruin it.” And you offered to go “shopping for DRESSES with her.” Don’t buy wedding suits, buy DRESSES.
It’s your dress, but she wants to make it hers, to honor her father. You want it as a souvenir of your husband… that would be nice. But, it’s not about her changing it (because you’re fine with his future wife altering it significantly as long as he’s still a dress), it’s about you not wanting her to wear a suit.
However, many other people flooded the comments section to share their support for the mom.
However, many other people flooded the comments section to share their support for the mom.
One person said: ‘NTA. You offered to “lend” him or let him “wear” your dress, not tear it apart in a way that would destroy it forever. This dress is yours, with living, breathing memories attached to it. If we cannot return it to you in its original condition, then NO, you are not the one to change your mind about it. You may have to ask a professional seamstress what is possible. I’m sure you have other possessions that actually belonged to her dad, and she may be able to incorporate one of them; or she recreates your bouquet; cake, or something similar, if that connection is what she’s looking for. However, other people may have taken to the comments section to defend the mother. However, other people may have taken to the comments section to defend the mother.
Another user added: ‘Okay – NTA. She lost her father, but you also lost your husband, and it makes perfect sense that you would be sentimental about this dress and not want it to be altered beyond recognition. Parents don’t need to give every part of themselves to their children (they are allowed to have their own feelings and needs) and wanting to keep the dress she married her late husband in is totally valid. You made that promise in good faith and I’m sure you would keep it if it didn’t mean completely changing this memory.
Someone else said: ‘Basically, you want your wedding dress to stay a dress. And your daughter would like to incorporate it into her wedding outfit, but she doesn’t want it to be a dress anymore. If you allow her to alter it, it will still be a family heirloom, but it won’t be a vintage dress.
‘I think you’re within your rights to simply tell her that the dress has tremendous sentimental value to you and that you’d like it to remain intact. Make sure her suit looks amazing. ANT.’
One user said: ‘Some people like to keep things that have sentimental value, even if they have no “use.” Her wedding dress is a big connection to her late husband, so it’s understandable that it pains her to see it basically destroyed, especially since she has so many important memories. ‘
Someone else commented: ‘There is a difference between a dress and a piece of cloth. You promised him your dress, not a piece of cloth that can be molded into something else. ANT.’