Mark Logan (pictured) was just three months old when he died of SIDS.
For more than 40 years, Scott Logan’s father, David, has carried the same photograph of a baby in his wallet.
The old photograph, which shows the newborn lying in his crib, was of Scott’s younger brother, Mark, who died without warning at just three months old.
“The only photo my dad has ever had in his wallet is a photo of Mark, his son, who he lost… 43 years ago,” Scott, from Victoria, told Daily Mail Australia.
‘To this day, he still carries his photo with him… I guess it’s because he still doesn’t know why he lost it.’
The snap shows little Mark smiling at the camera, dressed in a white long-sleeved T-shirt with the words: “I love my daddy.”
David always kept a photograph of Mark on his nightstand and in his wallet so he could remember his son wherever he went.
Scott vaguely remembers playing with his little brother Mark.
“I only have one real memory of him: He would sit on his little swing and I would wind him up and rock him,” she said.
“I was a proud brother and would bring the neighborhood kids to see it.”
Scott Logan (left) was just three years old when his little brother Mark (right) died.
Suddenly Mark was no longer in her life.
Scott was just three years old when his brother died from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), which is the unexpected death of a baby under one year of age.
“I slept with the light on for six months because I didn’t know where my little brother Mark had gone,” she said.
After Mark died, little Scott refused to turn off the light at bedtime, his father David recalled.
“I was a very obedient child, but my father told me that was something I couldn’t give in to,” Scott explained.
I guess it was because I was afraid that if Mark left, they would take me too.
Scott, now 46 and a sports scientist, explained how the loss of his brother affected him greatly when he welcomed his first child.
“When you become a father for the first time, it’s the best day of your life. It’s a different kind of love. Although it was exciting, I was also worried: every time I woke up, I would put my hand on my son’s chest to make sure he was breathing,” she explained.
‘It particularly affected my life when I became a father… every night was a bit scary, I was always checking on him… I felt nervous every time I put my son to bed or went to see him until he was at least a year old.’
Scott’s father, David, always kept a photograph of Mark in his wallet and on his nightstand.
Father David (left), his younger brother James (center) and Scott (right)
He knows firsthand the devastating impact of SIDS.
“It’s especially difficult not having an answer as to the cause (of Mark’s death),” Scott said.
“It’s very disconcerting when you’re going to have your own children and you wonder if they’re going to be okay.”
The doting dad now has three “beautiful” sons – Lauchlan, 16, Jacob, 14, and eight-year-old Harry.
In honour of his late brother, Scott will join the Ride for Red Nose team on Saturday 31 August to cycle 110km around the Bellarine Peninsula in Victoria.
“I was browsing social media and came across a post from Peter Herrick, the founder of the race. Peter is a close friend of our family, so I called him straight away to chat about it and asked how I could get involved to honour Mark,” she said.
Scott will be among 24 cyclists embarking on the 110km walk to honour the little lives lost in a bid to raise funds and awareness for Red Nose Day.
Death has become a taboo subject, but Scott hopes that by sharing his story he can encourage more Australians to talk openly about grief and loss.
“It’s okay to talk about loss, it’s okay to grieve, to ask questions,” she said.
“It’s not just moms and dads who suffer. Other family members do, too. It’s also OK to accept that we may not get answers.”
Scott will be among 24 cyclists embarking on the 110km walk to honour the little lives lost in a bid to raise funds and awareness for Red Nose Day.
Ride for Red Nose helps save children’s lives. To make a donation, click here here.
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