It was in the early 1970s, as I was embarking on my journalism career, that domestic violence began to be recognized as a common occurrence in homes across the country. Two charities were founded, Refuge and Women’s Aid, and she was determined to do everything she could to support their work.
During the 33 years that I presented Woman’s Hour, I received numerous calls from women asking me for help. I was rarely able to do anything more than direct them to the right charity and offer them emotional support.
There were many shocking cases where women had been beaten, raped, controlled and denied any access to money to buy good food for their children. The children’s stories were distressing. They had witnessed mothers they loved being beaten to a bloody pulp.
I would always advise women to do everything possible to escape and take traumatized children with them. Many times it was impossible due to threats from his partners.
Sometimes I would hear that a woman had managed to escape and was seeking legal help to go to the family courts to keep her children and find a way to start a safe life without fear of the man who had ruined their lives.
Kate Kniveton became an MP when she took over the Staffordshire seat from her ex-husband, Andrew Griffiths, in 2019.
They always asked me to never report the stories they told me. Everything that happened in family court had to be kept secret. I obeyed the law, but I will never forget the anguish of women who were forced to obey the strict rules of the family courts that insisted, time and time again, that children must have access to both parents.
The most distressing call I received came from a woman who had managed to go to court to detail the sexual violence and control she had suffered for years.
Her children, ages ten and 12, had made it clear that it was their choice to stay with their mother. However, the father convinced the court that he had more money, a better house and could take better care of the children. They were taken from his mother’s house and taken to live with him.
Thanks to years of lobbying, it has now been accepted that certain family courts should be opened to accredited journalists who will be able to report on decisions made in these courts as long as they keep the anonymity of the parties involved intact.
It’s a big step forward, but not as significant as the one recently taken by Conservative MP Kate Kniveton.
Kate became an MP when she took over the Staffordshire seat from her ex-husband, Andrew Griffiths, in 2019. Griffiths resigned as a minister in 2018 after sending more than 2,000 text messages, many of them sexual in nature, to two constituents.
Kniveton filed for divorce, won the 2019 election, and later revealed in family court that she had been a victim of domestic abuse, as well as coercive and controlling behavior and rape by Griffiths during their ten-year marriage.
The judge found her allegations to be true and she waived her right to anonymity with the intention of campaigning to improve matters in the courts for victims of domestic violence.
However, it wasn’t until last week that Kate learned that her ex-husband had been prevented from seeing their son. Griffiths will only be allowed to communicate with the boy through four letters a year and an annual birthday and Christmas card.
This news came after years of legal disputes over Griffiths’ access to the child, which have cost Kate more than £120,000.
The Children Act 1989 states that it is generally in a child’s best interests to have a relationship with both parents, but Kate, like so many mothers I have spoken to in the past, disagrees, saying: “This Belief in contact at all costs puts children and mothers at risk and can often have tragic consequences. This needs to be reversed.
Griffiths had taken steps to establish weekly supervised contact, which led to unsupervised contact with his son, at a hearing in January. She had previously seen the boy once a week during a 30-minute video call. The judge said Griffiths wanted to “make peace” and wanted to make sure the young man “did not believe he was a monster”.
Kate stood firm to protect her son and has no regrets about giving up her anonymity. If her case is, as her ex-husband claims, political, it is a clear implication that the personal is political.
Her prominent role as an MP, her fight to protect her son and speaking publicly about her experiences have given hope to many other women. She has had about 50 or 60 women contact her and others who have thanked her for talking about her.
About 60 percent of family court cases involving child contact orders involve allegations of domestic abuse. Dozens of children have been forced to come into contact with parents accused of abuse. Children witness domestic violence. They know the damage their father has caused. They are damaged by what they have seen.
We must not allow another generation of young people to be convinced that such violence is not a problem by parents eager to prove that they are not a monster.
Harry or Camilla? it’s not a contest
I had high hopes last week when I learned that Prince Harry had rushed home to see his father when he learned of the King’s cancer diagnosis. Surely the family would come together, I thought.
How wrong I was. She had 35 minutes in the presence of her father and reportedly refused to be in the same room as Camilla when she spoke to her father.
The King won’t let Harry come between him and Camilla. Pictured: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
Stupid boy! It seems like he hasn’t learned anything about the strength of marriage from his father. Charles and Camilla are a couple. Totally dedicated to each other.
The King won’t let Harry come between them. Harry must know that.
Steve was a master in the art of radio.
Those of us who have made interviewing people our life’s work hate being interviewed. We know too much about the tricks of the trade, but I never said no to Steve Wright.
He always read my book, asked intelligent questions, and then laughed. He was from the generation (mine) that cared about radio as an art and a craft. He was too alive to die. I can’t believe he no longer exists and radio will suffer from the loss of him.
I can’t believe Steve Wright is no more and radio will suffer from his loss. Here the DJ is pictured in 1980.
I have always thought that Salisbury Cathedral is the most beautiful building in the world. I knew this well before repairs began in 1986 and the scaffolding went up. Now the intricate masonry is finished and it has regained its former glory. I can’t wait to see the two ferrets immortalized in stone by head stonemason Lee Andrews, or the model of a quarry carved by Carol Pike to represent herself. I bet there were no women on the job when the cathedral was started in 1220.
I love fruity language too, Olivia.
Olivia Colman’s new film Wicked Little Letters tells a story from the 1920s when two women shocked the town of Littlehampton by writing letters containing profanity. Olivia believes that women who swear are still considered shocking and shouldn’t be.
I agree. My language in countless editorials has been quite fruity. I’ve been teaching my Ukrainian guest, Zoriana, how to say bad words in English. She was putting off the time when she had to go write an essay for college.
I told him there was an acronym he needed to know. JFDI Just do it. Now he says it a lot!
I’ve never been a fan of tea. Coffee has always been my poison, but atrial fibrillation (heart racing too fast) has put an end to that. Zoriana recommended black tea with lemon. It’s calming and refreshing, she said. I tried. I agreed. Trust me, a Yorkshire woman, to fall in love with tea just as shipping across the Red Sea is being disrupted. I haven’t had much luck lately.