James Middleton, Kate Middleton’s brother, recently revealed the depth of his mental health issues and shared how he nearly reached the brink of insanity. In his upcoming memoir Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My LifeJames speaks candidly about his battle with suicidal thoughts and the pivotal role his dog, Ella, played in saving him.
In an excerpt shared by The Daily MailJames reveals: “Life is not worth living anymore. I feel suicidal.” He goes on to describe how he “considered ways to die” to escape the emotional turmoil that was pushing him to the edge.
Recalling this dark period, James writes: “I feel misunderstood, a complete failure. I wouldn’t wish the feeling of worthlessness and despair, the isolation and loneliness, on my worst enemy. I think I’m going crazy.”
Despite coming from a “loving, close-knit family,” including his royal sister, James admitted to pushing his family away during that time. He confessed to ignoring phone calls, emails and invitations as he retreated behind a closed door, unreachable and consumed by his despair.
At his lowest point, he was tormented by thoughts of jumping off a roof, wondering who would find him and whether his death could be perceived as an accident to spare his family the pain of knowing he had taken his own life.
However, it was his dog Ella who finally stopped him from going through with those thoughts. “I imagine myself without her, and the chain of thoughts makes me reflect.” James writes“What would she do without me? She depends on me and I on her. The feeling is totally reciprocal.”
His deep connection with Ella became his lifeline. “What would happen to Ella if I died? How long would I have to wait alone in the apartment for someone to find her?” he wondered, realizing that Ella had been his constant companion, offering unconditional love and support.
James concludes with a heartfelt tribute to his dog: “She is the reason I don’t take that fatal leap. She is Ella, the dog who saved my life.” James Middleton’s memoir offers a raw and powerful look at his mental health journey, highlighting the deep bond between him and Ella, the dog who gave him hope in his darkest moments.
