I love a good love story. I love romanticism. I love watching couples find their soulmate, even if it’s the second or third time.
So I was really happy to see strapping photos NRL legend Sam Burgess on Noosa beach with new wife Lucy Graham and 10-month-old daughter Robbie over the weekend.
Fresh from celebrity accountant Anthony Bell’s star-studded wedding, watching these two sun-kissed Brits canoodling in the waves made me think: ‘Oh, to be young again!’
I also couldn’t help but smile knowing that Sam is happy again after his terrible and long divorce from his first wife, Phoebe Burgess, with whom he shares a son and daughter.
But was there only one stitch with envy as he looked at her sun-kissed PDA and Lucy’s perfectly toned body in a Bikini with thong? Oh, maybe…
Before I had a chance to think about it, another series of revealing photos suddenly appeared: this time of divorced Nova radio host Tim Blackwell, 43, debuting his much younger girlfriend, Lizzie Baxter, 28 years old, at the ARIA awards..
In her latest column for Mail+, Amanda Goff reacts to the much talked about photos of Sam Burgess and his new wife Lucy on Noosa beach.
He also has some thoughts on radio host Tim Blackwell, 43, who went public with his relationship with his girlfriend, 28-year-old radio producer Lizzie Baxter.
Now, I wasn’t the only one to notice the strange similarity between Lizzie, producer of Fitzy & Wippa, and Tim’s ex-wife, Monique, mother of his three children.
When they were first photographed together, there were some comments about their age difference, but I won’t fault him for that.
Anyway, this is not a column about celebrity couples. Celebrities, like all of us, are allowed to move on. and I’m the first person to throw confetti when two people find love again after unhappy marriages.
What I want to talk about is “replacement.”
It’s a concept every woman understands: a man gets divorced, then gets up, dusts himself off… and ends up dating a “younger model.”
Yes, we can say we’re happy for you (and we are!), but all of us women whisper the same thing when we see pictures of Sam and Lucy or Tim and Lizzie, or any of the millions of Divorced men replacing Model A with Model B.
‘Here we go again.’
It’s the ultimate cliché, a story as old as the hills, and as a woman who turned 50 this year, I’m sure I’m not alone.
‘What I want to talk about is ‘replacement’. It’s a concept every woman understands: a man gets divorced, then gets up, dusts himself off… and ends up dating a younger model.
Every time this happens (and it happens often), we are overcome with a deepening sense of fear. Have I passed my expiration date?
Now, I don’t need to tell you how difficult it is to date in Australia; Just listen to the conversations that women of all ages have with each other across the country, recapping their depressing dates over wine or coffee, and you’ll get the idea.
Now, if you find this difficult, imagine being the older ex-wife holding the baby, literally.
While older women are often a fantasy for men under 30, generally speaking men dating after divorce are only looking for one thing: newer, brighter, younger versions of their ex-wives.
They may gloat at first, but we’ve all seen divorced men miraculously return to the dating pool and emerge with a whole new family, almost identical to their old one, complete with a younger wife and a newborn. The only difference this time is that they are a little older and softer around the edges.
I always marvel at how similar new wives look to their exes. And so the cycle repeats.
My theory is that divorced men simply can’t be alone. It’s hard for them to be single. They find it difficult to return to an empty house, ask for a table for themselves in restaurants, attend functions without a woman hanging on their arm.
Divorced women, on the other hand, love their solitude and enjoy it.
“I always marvel at the resemblance new wives have to their exes,” Amanda writes. (Pictured left: Tim Blackwell and his new girlfriend Lizzie Baxter at the ARIA Awards yesterday; and right: Blackwell with his ex-wife Monique at an Oscars party in March 2018)
Most of my estranged friends, myself included, give up on men and vow never to live with one again, much less get married. Why invite chaos back?
But it still hurts me to know that I couldn’t compete with a younger woman for the attention of a man my age, even if I don’t particularly want it.
Believe me, I have no desire to be younger again. Right now I am older, wiser and happier than ever. A big part of that is accepting that my body doesn’t look like it used to and that new wrinkles appear with each passing year (well, I have Botox for that)..
Another reason for my happiness is not having to worry about the fights, stress, and slamming doors that a marriage can bring.. I’m sure Monique, Phoebe, and all the other ex-wives feel the same way.
Tim, Sam, I wish you the best. I know you mean no harm and I hope your new relationships bring you all the happiness that your previous ones didn’t.
But think about your exes and the rest of us.