Looking at photos of Prince Harry on his recent solo trip to Lesotho, I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. The old Harry, who the public fell in love with, seemed to have returned.
He laughed, joked and charmed everyone with that cheeky smile and that mischievous glint in his eye.
What a loss that version of him is to us and the Royal Family. When his wife Meghan got engaged thousands of miles away in California, I felt sad for her too, but for different reasons.
While her husband shined, she seemed lost, uncomfortable and, despite the crowds and cameras, quite alone when she attended a fundraiser at a children’s hospital.
As a former working actress, Meghan would have known only too well how brutally tough and fickle the world of celebrity can be. You may have experienced that crushing feeling of standing in line at a premiere or party, waiting to be interviewed, only to be interrupted when someone more interesting appeared behind her. Last week on the red carpet, it almost seemed like I was there again.
Meghan Markle at a charity event in California last week for a children’s hospital
It was a big change from her time as a working member of the Royal Family, when she was always the guest of honour, always the one everyone was there to see.
Many people have commented on how moving away from the glitz and pomp of the Royal Family has caused the Sussexes’ celebrity status to plummet. But, for me, the far greater tragedy is how social isolation must have diminished their lives.
Although distancing yourself from your family may seem like a good idea at the time, especially after a fight, the reality is that family ties are powerful.
They are both nutritious and anchoring, and cutting them off can set us adrift. Of course, there are times when families are so toxic and harmful that they need to be permanently separated from your lives. But more often than not, family is a ready-made, if sometimes exasperating, social circle that will always be there and ensures that you are never alone.
It felt quite strange to see the Duke and Duchess carrying out separate engagements. We’re so used to them coming as a pack, hands seemingly glued together in a tight grip, something that sometimes seemed less like a public display of affection and more like clinging on for dear life as they navigated the road ahead.
Working so closely with your partner means that you always have someone close by who has your back, who is by your side, which is very comforting. But there is also a negative side. You lose your sense of self and your own identity.
When they live and work together, there is little free time or mutual respite. Even the most beloved couple needs a break from time to time.
I have had a few patients over the years who have worked with their husband or wife and rarely is it all smooth sailing, as it takes a very particular type of person to be seen as a unit, rather than an individual.
One patient’s relationship didn’t survive and I have no doubt that working with his partner was largely to blame. They were highly successful fashion designers who had their own successful clothing brand.
They lived together, ran the business, appeared at countless functions, and were together every minute of every day. The tension was immense.
Neither of them was very hungry for fame but, as one of them told me after they broke up, they simply began to forget who they were and relied on each other for absolutely everything. It was too much.
That pressure has to be even more intense when you live your life in the world’s spotlight.
Meghan is an intelligent and educated woman and she should know that her prestige is due to the fact that she married a prince. There’s nothing to sweeten it, although a successful actress, Meghan’s star would never have shone as bright had she not married one of the most famous men on the planet.
Knowing that your status depends, even in part, on another person is psychologically a difficult situation, as it magnifies your own fragility.
For most people (royal or not), it’s important to get emotional support from several different sources, such as colleagues, family, and old friends.
Variety is essential since psychologically it is suffocating to look at just one person for everything. I can’t help but wonder if Harry and Meghan are starting to realize that.
Generation Z may be in their prime, but they seem to panic about looking older than they are. Social media is awash with complaints that people mistake them for being years – sometimes decades – older than they really are.
One explanation for them aging faster than other generations is that, ironically, they have adopted “anti-aging” treatments, such as anti-wrinkle injections and fillers.
In older people they can shave for a few years, in younger people who do not need them they can change the structure and shape of the face, causing sagging and wrinkles, precisely what they are designed to prevent. In the search for the youth they already had, the young have become old!
Finally, sensible visits to the family doctor
The Royal College of General Practitioners (RCGP) said last week that all patients should be assessed by a GP before being seen by a GP to reduce the risk of harm. This would be a very large and welcome step to establish clear limitations and controls on what PAs can and cannot do.
The shock recommendations follow an RCGP council vote to oppose the role of PAs in general practice over fears for patient safety. Official bodies representing doctors have been slow to listen to the concerns of their members, so it is good that they are finally taking a stand. However, I don’t think their recommendations go far enough.
Regular readers will know that I have serious concerns about the mass deployment of PAs, particularly the large number of patients being treated by them without realizing they are not visiting a doctor.
In addition to clear rules about what their role should entail, I think PAs should change their name to “medical assistants” instead of “associates,” which is too vague and confusing a term.
There should be no shame in helping a doctor and this title means there can be no confusion for patients, which surely should be the most important thing?
Latest figures show more than 50,000 “baby loss certificates” have been issued since its launch in February this year. Until now, only those who had experienced a loss since September 2018 were eligible to apply, but now that limit has been removed. Certificates can be requested by any parent who experienced a loss before 24 weeks, or 28 weeks if it occurred before October 1992.
The scheme aims to recognize the devastating impact of pregnancy loss and help grieving families move on and I think it is a very good idea. Miscarriage affects people in very different ways. Some understand it as part of nature and move on, others have a terrible time and are tormented by their experience for many years.
The difficulty is that, unlike the death of a full-term baby, miscarriage is not really recognized in terms of loss. If a woman said her baby died, everyone would appreciate the emotional impact that would have. But when it is called a miscarriage, it is seen as something much less significant.
Dr. Max prescribes: a good night’s sleep
According to the latest research, a bad night’s sleep can affect the brain for up to two weeks. The results found that a restless night still affected attention, cognition and memory well into the following week. So sleep early, you’ll thank yourself you did in a week.
