Rest in peace, summer brat. There’s a new buzzword hitting TikTok and it’s basically the opposite of Charli XCX’s party girl persona. Now, it’s all about being demure.
At least that’s what it says Jools Lebronthe content creator behind the slogan, who advises her followers on how to be “very modest, very conscious” in various life situations.
How does one behave modestly, you might ask? First, you have to stay presentable at work. “I’m very modest, I’m very conscious,” Lebron says in A TikTok. “The way I got to the interview is the way I go to work. A lot of you girls go to the interview looking like Marge Simpson and go to work looking like Patty and Selma. He is not modest.”
For a week, Lebron has been advising his 1.2 million followers on how to stay calm in various stressful situations, such as Traveling with the family (show up at the airport “very early, very punctual, very considerate, very modest”) or Picking up an ID left at the bar (don’t stay to drink, take your ID and leave instead – “very cheesy, very modest”). One can be modest in the Las Vegas StripLebron says, “showing a little bit of chee chee, not too much.” Or in a drag show:“I don’t stand out, I let it be their thing.”
Would Emily Post approve? Probably not, but that’s the point. Lebron, who did not respond to a request for comment, uses the line satirically, using the snippet to joke about the performance of femininity. It also reads like a parody of Gen Z’s obsession with quiet luxury — the trend where wealth is displayed through a whisper, not a shout. (Think Hailey Bieber in a low-key but pricey tracksuit, holding a $20 Erewhon milkshake.)
In a clip, Lebron affirms that one can even remain demure during a hangover trip to CVS. “Ladies, let’s be mindful while we’re at CVS. This is not the Met Gala,” she says. She encourages women to “not do too much” or dress up. Instead, show up like she did: with foundation smeared on top or Taco Bell refried beans stuck in your hair.
Like all good TikTok moments, “decure” caught the attention of corporations like CVS, Elf Cosmetics, and Delta, brands that have taken to Lebron’s comments section to approve his PSAs. (“The art of travel ✨demure✨,” Delta’s account commented on its TikTok about traveling with family.)
Other users have also joined in on the trend, explaining how to be modest while eating pizza (“the pizza comes to me,” one creator said). says while taking a small bite) or compromise (“I didn’t make a big fuss,” said one woman says while holding her new diamond ring).
The definition of demure, of course, is “reserved, modest, shy.” Jess Zafarris, etymologist and author of Once Upon a Word: A Word-Origin Dictionary for Kids, says that the Latin root of demure, MatureIt means “mature” or “ripe.”
“It reminds me of the root word for precocious, ‘coquere,’ which means precooked or mature, and it tends to describe children who are better behaved, more disciplined and perform better within the constraints of a classroom,” Zafarris said. “Demure applies to women in the same way: a woman who is well behaved, doesn’t stand out and is more reserved, serene and serious.”
Zafarris also noted that theological writings from the 15th and 16th centuries use the term “modest” to describe someone who is a hypocrite or who “hides a darker version of themselves.”
“I love the way the word modest is used on TikTok now, because users are putting on a kind of serious mask, but at the same time they are making fun of it, so it preserves the definition of the word as a kind of facade,” Zafarris added.
Sobriety may be a long way from the all-out bacchanal of summer, but fall is just around the corner. What could be more sober, conscious or modest than a cozy cashmere sweater?
