James Middleton has revealed that family therapy sessions were “easier” for his sisters Kate and Pippa as their parents grappled with the challenge of “where they had gone wrong”.
The 37-year-old brother of the Princess of Wales has spoken openly about his mental health struggles in his new book Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life.
The father-of-one, who lives in Berkshire, says he almost made a fatal leap from the roof of his London home in 2017 but was distraught at the thought of what would happen to his beloved spaniel if he died.
At the end of the year, James returned to therapy and gave his GP permission to speak to his “desperately worried” parents, Michael and Carole, and his sisters, about his problems.
Talking with Hello! MagazineJames detailed how his supportive family agreed to go to family therapy, which he said was like “having a translator.”
Pictured: James Middleton, who has written a new book about his late therapy dog Ella, on This Morning 2023
Reflecting on her first sessions, she said: “It was easier for my sisters, because initially my parents saw it as a challenge to them: where had they gone wrong?”
As a result, James says it was “really important” to have an impartial third party tell Carole and Michael that his mental health issues weren’t something they had “done” to him.
What’s more, James praised how his older sisters supported him during this time.
He continued: ‘Once I started to understand it a little bit, I understood it myself and then my sisters, who were then also able to talk to my parents.
“Now it’s something that can be discussed at the dinner table. It’s helped us as a family (not just me, but as a unit) to be more open.”
Since joining the Royal Family in 2011, The Princess of Wales has made mental health a major focus of her work and launched the Heads Together initiative with Prince William and Prince Harry in 2016.
The Princess officially opened the Early Childhood Centre, which focuses on mental health, in 2021, but has been researching the topic for the past 10 years and has pledged to highlight the importance of these issues for the rest of her working life.
Elsewhere in the book, James details how Michael called his £32,000-a-year education a “waste of money” after having to retake his chemistry A-level exam four times.
Pictured: The Princess of Wales with her younger sister Pippa in May 2007. James Middleton says his older sisters found family therapy “easier” than their parents.
Pictured: Michael and Carole Middleton in July 2013. According to James, his parents found family therapy a “challenge”.
James was a boarding student at Marlborough College in Wiltshire, where his older sisters, Catherine and Pippa, excelled in their studies.
In an interview with The timesJames explained how his mother Carole always encouraged him to invite school friends over to their home in Bucklebury at weekends, but he was more concerned about meeting up with the family dog, Tilly.
James, who was diagnosed with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder as an adult, recalled: “I was an outcast… estranged from my classmates. But the dogs never judged me.”
When he was 18, James had to take a gap year to retake his A-level chemistry exam four times, which he said was a “humiliating record” for Marlborough College.
At the time, James recalls how his father Michael told him that his private education had been a “waste of money.” However, James insisted: “Mum and Dad only wanted the best for me.”
The education of Middleton’s three children was reportedly funded by a £1.3m trust fund set up by the Princess of Wales’s great-grandmother Olive following the deaths of her three siblings.
Following his final exam, James entered the University of Edinburgh and chose modules in geography, criminology and environmental studies, but failed his first-year exams.
As a teenager, James was desperate to have a dog of his own and jumped at the chance to adopt a black cocker spaniel puppy, whom he named Ella, while staying in Edinburgh.
After leaving university, James was told he would receive no further financial support from his parents, but could move in with his sisters in the family’s Chelsea apartment.
Detailing how Ella supported him during this difficult time, James explained: “She was my shield. Through her I was able to enjoy things.”
The Prince and Princess of Wales had already been dating for three years when James moved to London, and James admitted he found the public interest in his sister’s life “shocking”.
Pictured: James Middleton with his parents Michael and Carole ahead of the royal wedding in April 2011
James Middleton pictured with his older sister, the Princess of Wales, on a family holiday when they were children.
Describing how William was a “fantastic support” to the family, James admitted: “At the time, I was already in a vulnerable state of mind and it was an added pressure.”
In 2017, James was in the midst of a mental health crisis and in November he nearly made a fatal leap from the roof of his London home.
He writes in his memoirs: ‘As I walk along, I look down through the skylight and see the tender eyes of my spaniel Ella looking up at me.
“Like me, she has been awake all night. She senses my strange, agitated mood (…)
“What would Ella do without me? She depends on me and I on her. The feeling is totally reciprocal (…) At that moment I know that I will not jump. What would become of Ella if I died? How long would I wait alone on the floor for someone to find her?”
Pictured: James Middleton with his late dog Ella, about whom he has now written a book and named his dog food company after her.
Pictured: James Middleton with his wife Alizee Thevenet in November 2021. The couple recently welcomed a son named Inigo.
The following month, James took Ella and her two puppies to a cabin in the Lake District, where he enjoyed walking them in the wilderness, foraging for firewood and swimming in the wilderness.
Describing how his dogs have helped him through some of his greatest moments of need, James added: “I think we can learn from dogs. They don’t think about yesterday or tomorrow.
“They don’t even think about the next few hours. They’re thinking about the present. I’m here, they’re here, in the moment.”
What’s more, James shared his love of dogs with the late Queen, who is said to have owned more than 30 corgis in her lifetime.
During his first visit to Sandringham, James recalled how the Queen approached him and said: “Did you get my message? She can stay in your room.”
In March 2021, James detailed in an interview with The telegraph How Ella, who disapproved of his previous girlfriends, “made a beeline” for his future wife Alizée at a private club in South Kensington in 2018.
After approaching his future wife to apologise, James said: “Alizée thought I was the waiter and ordered her drink while continuing to caress Ella, who at the time was on her back enjoying the attention.”
The businessman, who is the younger brother of the Princess of Wales, shared this photo of him cradling Ella, taken just hours before she died in January 2023.
Mr Middleton told his followers: ‘For 15 years she has been by my side, from my darkest days to my happiest’
Pictured: James Middleton signing copies of his memoir Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life
In May 2020, James created a raw dog food company called Ella & Co, named after her beloved dog.
Last January, James announced that Ella had sadly passed away at the age of 15, saying in a touching Instagram post how his beloved dog had supported him “from my darkest days to my happiest.”
He wrote: ‘She had a very short illness, slipped away into my arms at home and is now buried in the garden next to Tilly. I took this photograph just hours before she died.
‘I’m trying really hard to write this, and even though I knew this day would come, that doesn’t make it any easier.
“Good night my dear Ella, Alizee and the dogs will take good care of me.”
If you have been affected by the issues in this story, you can call Samaritans free on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.
