A young bride-to-be is petrified by the thought of losing her best friend after deciding not to invite her “toxic” other half to her wedding.
Speaking on Reddit, the young woman explained that her wedding will be in South Korea, where her boyfriend’s family is from, and will be a very intimate affair.
She will have a second wedding in the United States, which will be larger, but still “not big enough” to invite her friend’s partner.
The bride-to-be explained that often the man who verbally abuses her, cheats on her, and forces her to have sex without contraception leaves her friend in tears.
They will break up and then, after a period of deep depression, her friend will become “euphoric” and know that they are back together.
A young bride-to-be is petrified of losing her best friend after deciding she won’t invite her “toxic” other half to her wedding.
‘My friend has told me countless times that her boyfriend is excited about my wedding in South Korea. “I never invited him…or her,” he said.
He added that his partner’s family would prefer that only immediate family be present at the wedding in their home country.
‘I finally told him yesterday that my future in-laws only want the wedding to be for their family. My friend was silently disappointed and said, “…well, that’s unfortunate. I’ll tell my boyfriend that he can still look forward to the wedding you’re having in the United States,” she said.
The young woman now faces having to have another uncomfortable conversation with her friend.
‘I don’t know how to tell him that I really don’t want him there. “I’m thinking of saying I won’t invite significant others since it will be an intimate wedding,” she said.
“But the problem with that is that my fiancé’s best friend who will be at the wedding is bringing his girlfriend.”
The bride-to-be said she has no problem with her partner’s friend’s girlfriend and is an active member of their friendship group.
She just doesn’t want to cause a problem when it seems like her best friend’s toxic partner is the only one left out.
‘I never went out with my friend and her boyfriend. I always tried to make plans with them and see if I could try to like this guy for my friend’s sake, but it never happened. I just don’t understand why I would be looking forward to both of my weddings.
People on Reddit told the woman to hold her ground, with many explaining that her friend would “thank her later.”
“He sounds like a bad person and I would draw a line in the sand. If not, you risk appearing dishonest about your moral superiority: that you only disapprove of bad behavior when it affects your wallet,” said one man.
He suggested she say something like, ‘Friend, I love you, but I can’t in good conscience have that kind of person in my life, and that includes events you’re invited to.’ I understand if you choose not to come because of this; I hope one day I can connect with you again when you are not tied to this type of behavior.’
A second echoed this.
The woman is going to have two wedding parties but she doesn’t want her best friend’s partner in any of them
‘I can’t imagine having this disgusting guy at my wedding. The invitation is for her and only her. He’s not included at all, like he wouldn’t want a horrible, abusive asshole on my special day. I need to be honest with her and tell her how I really feel about this person and that I don’t want her there.’
But others warned the bride-to-be.
“If you live together, you can’t really invite her and not invite him without major consequences,” one woman said.
‘Invite them both and accept that there is someone there that you don’t want at your wedding, like I had to do with my sister-in-law.’
The bride-to-be said she hopes the couple won’t be together when the official invitations go out.
“It just bothers me that she assumes he’s invited.”
