On what would have been his 88th birthday in January, Charles Spencer paid loving tribute to his mother.
The historian, 60, remembered Frances Shand Kydd with “love and gratitude” as she took to social media to post a selection of newspaper clippings, including one announcing the birth of her sister Princess Diana.
But the life of Frances, who died 20 years ago today, was particularly tragic and complicated, especially her relationship with her daughter.
She had a troubled marriage to Diana’s father, the future 8th Earl Spencer, which ended in divorce after she fell in love with wallpaper magnate Peter Shand Kydd.
Her four children were left in the care of their father after a fierce custody battle when Diana was seven years old.
The bitter separation led to a complex relationship with his youngest daughter. As her brother recalled earlier: “Diana used to wait for her at the door, but she never came.”
Her mother was not, she said, “cut out for motherhood.”
When Frances said in an interview months before her daughter’s death that it was “absolutely wonderful” that she had been stripped of her HRH title after divorcing then-Prince Charles, Diana never spoke to her again.
Frances spent the last of her days living alone on Seil, one of Scotland’s slate islands, where she remained after her second husband left her for a younger woman.
Princess Diana and Frances Shand Kydd, photographed in 1989, had a complicated relationship
Frances (right) married 30-year-old ‘Johnnie’ (left) aged just 18 in 1954, and her daughter Princess Diana eerily reflected this in her own marriage.
Frances was born in the real world of Sandringham Estate in Norfolk on January 20, 1936.
She socialized in royal circles from an early age: her father, Maurice Roche, was a friend of King George VI and her mother, Lady Ruth Remoy, was a lady-in-waiting to the Queen Mother.
In 1954, when she was only 18, she married 30-year-old Edward ‘Johnnie’ Spencer.
The couple had their first two daughters, Lady Sarah McCorquodale and Lady Jane Fellowes, in 1955 and 1957 respectively.
Her desperate wish to have a child was fulfilled in 1960, but little baby John died just hours after birth.
When Diana arrived the following year, Frances’s marriage had become strained after her several pregnancies failed to produce a male heir for Althorp.
Charles’s birth in 1964 did nothing to cure the ills of Frances’s relationship and in 1967 she fell in love with married wallpaper magnate Peter Shand Kydd.
In 1969, their divorce was finalized and Frances married her lover. Having earned the nickname “the bolter”, she began a fiery custody battle for John.
In the early days of the separation, Diana and her brother lived with their mother, while Sarah and Jane attended boarding school.
They all eventually moved back in with their father after Frances’s custody attempts proved unsuccessful and she moved to Scotland with her new husband.
Earl Spencer walks behind his mother’s coffin at her funeral at St Columba’s Cathedral in Oban, Scotland
Prince William (second left) and Prince Harry (center) attending his grandmother’s funeral, June 10, 2004.
Frances (left) had a troubled marriage to Edward John Spencer (right), whom she married in 1936.
The couple had two daughters within a few years, pictured holding Sarah after her baptism at Westminster Abbey in 1955.
However, the marriage between Frances and Johnnie (pictured) continued to break down and ended in flames in 1967 after she fell in love with married Peter Shand Kydd.
Princess Diana did not speak to her mother after she did an interview with Hello! magazine she before tragically dying in a car accident in Paris on August 31, 1997
Earl Spencer previously spoke about the impact his mother’s absence had on his and Diana’s childhood, including how his sister would wait for his return.
He recalled: ‘As he packed his things to leave, he promised Diana that he would see her again. Diana used to wait for her at the door, but she never came.
She added: “Our father was a silent and constant source of love, but our mother was not cut out for motherhood… she couldn’t do it.” She was in love with someone else, really in love.
Earl Spencer still felt able to unveil a portrait of his mother to mark what would have been her 85th birthday in 2021.
Princess Diana (left) and Frances (right) attended the wedding of Charles Spencer, Frances’ youngest son.
Frances with her youngest daughter, Princess Diana, at Wimbledon in 1993.
Frances photographed with Princess Diana, Harry and William in 1989
Princess Diana married Prince Charles in 1981, but Frances avoided the limelight her youngest daughter brought and quietly ran a gift shop in Seil..
In 1988, her second husband left her for a younger woman after almost 20 years.
Frances found solace in religion. She converted to Catholicism at age 58 and dedicated her life to the Church.
It was after Diana and Prince Charles divorced in 1996 that Frances returned to the spotlight with an interview with Hello! magazine.
Frances photographed on vacation with Princess Diana (left), Prince Harry and Prince William on Necker Island in 1990.
Frances (left) photographed on a Necker Island beach in 1990 with her daughters Princess Diana, Lady Jane Fellowes and Lady Sarah McCorquodale.
In May the following year, he said it was “absolutely wonderful” that Diana, now no longer a member of the Royal Family, had lost her HRH title.
The interview raised £30,000 which went towards building a house of prayer in Iona, but this charitable act was not enough to repair the damage caused to his relationship with his daughter.
In a surprising turn through grief, he struck up a close friendship with the priest who watched over Diana’s body after she died in a car accident in Paris.
Doctors at the Pitié-Salpêtrière University Hospital in Paris fought to save the princess’s life, but they could not.
Father Yves-Marie Clochard-Bossuet was the chaplain on duty the night Diana died.
He cared for her body for ten hours before Prince Charles and Diana’s two sisters arrived.
He continued to write to Frances after his cousin told him about her strong Catholic faith.
He previously told the Mail: ‘And then I wrote her a very formal letter giving her all the details (of the day of Diana’s death). She wanted to tell her mother that the nurses who had cared for her had done things very well.
‘There was nothing to complain about (even if) it was a hospital room and not in Buckingham Palace. And I told him that I had prayed and had stayed until Prince Charles arrived.
Although I didn’t expect a response, Frances responded a few days later.
“She thanked me because I was the first to give her information directly,” he said.
Frances (centre) pictured at Princess Diana’s funeral at Westminster Abbey with her daughters Jane (left) and Sarah (right).
Frances came to Paris to meet him and the pair developed a bond.
He would return to the French capital twice a year to meet him and invite him to dinner.
Fr Clochard-Bossuet added: ‘Frances Shand Kydd) told me that she often went walking around London at night (in the days after Diana’s death) where there were flowers for her. She also told me a lot about (William and Harry). She adored them.
Frances continued to live a quiet life after Diana’s death and developed Parkinson’s disease and brain cancer.
He died at the age of 68 on June 3, 2004 at his home in Scotland. His funeral on June 10 was attended by his grandchildren, Prince William and Prince Harry.