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The world is a less safe place for my daughter than it was for me when I was a child. This is not hyperbole: it is a stark, raw reality, reflected in this week’s news that should be disturbing to us all.
On Tuesday, the National Police Chiefs’ Council published a harrowing report saying violence against women and girls was now at such “staggering” levels it can only be described as a “national emergency”, posing a threat to society as great as terrorism.
Take a moment and read this again: violence against women and girls is now a national emergency that poses a threat to society as great as terrorism.
I don’t know what you think, but I saw those words and wondered why anyone would be talking about anything else.
Violence against women and girls is now a national emergency, posing a threat to society as great as terrorism.
According to the report, one fifth of all police-recorded crimes are related to violence against women and girls. Stalking, harassment, sexual assault and domestic violence affect one in twelve women in England and Wales, and the number of recorded crimes has increased by 37% in the past five years.
“These are cautious estimates,” the report added. “We know that many crimes go unreported and, in the police, we often only see the tip of the iceberg.”
It is difficult to pinpoint the most worrying element of this report, so packed with statistics that make me want to cry: 3,000 crimes reported every day; two million victims every year; one in 20 adults in England and Wales perpetrating violence against women and girls.
But if I had to cite one statistic that really bothers me, it would be the fact that the average age of a suspect in child sexual abuse and exploitation is only 15 years old (and the average age of the victims is 13 years old).
There is an epidemic of bullying of girls in our schools, and police chiefs believe it is to blame for rampant online misogyny, spread by people like influencer Andrew Tate.
Sarah Everard was killed by an on-duty officer in 2021. Wayne Couzens used his police badge to abduct her.
There is an epidemic of this behaviour in our schools, and police chiefs believe it is to blame for rampant online misogyny, spread by the likes of Andrew Tate (banned from Twitter in 2017 for saying women should take some responsibility for being raped, but reinstated following the Elon Musk takeover and now boasting nearly ten million followers, despite currently awaiting trial in Romania, having been charged with rape, sexual exploitation and human trafficking).
Tate is often regarded as the king of toxic masculinity, but the so-called “manosphere” is full of men in fast cars describing women over 23 as “leftovers” and calling for a return to a time when men played the “dominant” role in relationships. Meanwhile, pornography is more extreme and more easily accessible than ever.
Speaking about the report, Assistant Chief Constable Maggie Blyth said it was all being made worse by a criminal justice system “that is currently overwhelmed and failing to meet the needs of victims”.
The police themselves are not exactly a good source of information. On the same day the report was published, a panel of experts found that Sergeant James Endean, an officer who acted as an “ambassador” for women and girls at Thames Valley Police, was whistling at women in the public and boasting about his sexual exploits to colleagues.
And how can we forget Sarah Everard, murdered by a serving officer who used his police badge to abduct her? Earlier this year, the official report concluded that the police failings in this case were so serious that “unless investigation and reinvestigation processes are significantly improved, there is a danger that there may be another Wayne Couzens operating in plain sight.”
Olympic sex at home too!
Bryony Gordon with the Olympic torch during her leg of the London 2012 torch relay
The start of the Olympic Games brings with it the usual stories about the number of condoms sent to the Olympic village (200,000 for the 14,250 competitors who live together for two weeks). The organisers of the Paris Games have also created “anti-sex beds” made of cardboard.
I’d always wondered what all the fuss was about… until I covered the 2012 London Olympics (and carried the torch) and realised how exciting it was to see all the young athletes in action. About nine months later, I received my own Olympic reward: a healthy, bouncing baby boy, conceived, I think, after watching swimmer Michael Phelps win gold in the individual medley.
That worries me, but not as much as the idea that school children are so inured to online sex and violence that they are unable to see the problem involved. When I was a child, my parents worried about stranger danger and gave me vague instructions to rush home from school and scream if I encountered mysterious figures in dark alleys.
Today the problem is at school and at home, thanks to smartphones that allow children to access content that my generation didn’t see until we were at least 20 years old.
And the most worrying thing of all is that we seem to be giving up, with hardly a word of complaint. Why don’t we do more to protect our children, both girls and boys?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, as my 11-year-old daughter starts secondary school in the autumn and conversations inevitably turn to when she’ll be able to get her first phone. Never, if it were up to me, or not until she’s at least 45, but sadly I live in South London and not Wonderland.
She’s one of the last girls in her year to get a phone and she’s suffering because of it, but I think this short-term pain is worth the long-term benefit if it means avoiding exposing her to the wild west of TikTok, YouTube, and Snapchat.
In the US, there are devices designed specifically for child safety, such as Samsung’s Bark Phone, which allows you to delete and add apps and the internet depending on the child’s age. But there is no equivalent in the UK, where parents are forced to choose between so-called “dumb phones” and smartphones, which are basically portable computers.
Sure, parental controls can be installed, but none are foolproof, and this is how children are sucked into online worlds where misogyny and violence abound, while we all sit downstairs watching Netflix.
Where is the anger? When will we protest against the government and social media giants and demand that something changes? What needs to happen for people to take this seriously?
I’ll say it again, just in case you didn’t get it the first two times: violence against women and girls is now a national emergency that poses a threat as great as terrorism. And if that doesn’t make you pay attention, then you may very well be part of the problem.
Trusted clinic
People seem surprised that Rebel Wilson admitted she didn’t have a serious relationship until she was 40, but I applaud the actress for her refusal to hit “milestones” at the usual times. Remember: the only “right” time to be married or single is the time that’s right for you!
Elon Musk has once again spoken of the “woke mindset virus” that has apparently infected the world’s youth. Since “woke” means “being alert to social injustice,” I’m not all that worried.
If the worst thing that can be said about young people is that they care too much about marginalized people, then I think everything will be fine.
Taylor’s triumph at the V&A
Congratulations to the Victoria and Albert Museum for coming up with the best strategy to attract young people.
The Taylor Swift Songbook Trail, a collection of the singer’s most iconic dresses and objects, opens Saturday at the Victoria and Albert Museum
Starting tomorrow, visitors will be able to experience the Taylor Swift Songbook Trail, a collection of the singer’s most iconic dresses and items.
The curators have brilliantly spread the objects throughout the museum, meaning history buffs will also have to check out the V&A’s permanent collection, which includes works by Sir Joshua Reynolds and John Constable. Definitely something for all the family.