Ghosting, the act of ignoring someone with whom you previously had a relationship, is incredibly common in our digital age.
It can happen among potential partners, friends or even family members.
Now a study has shed light on the reasons why people do it.
When asked by psychologists why they had ghosted someone, ghosters reported similar characteristics among their dates.
Specifically, they have evicted someone because they found them to be ‘intrusive’ and ‘clingy’.
According to the psychology website Psychcentral, up to a quarter of Americans have been pranked.
This data comes from 34 self-hospitalized ghosts interviewed in 2023 by clinical psychologists Karen Wu and Olajide Bamishigbin of California State University.
The findings are echoed by another study conducted by researchers at Roanoke College, that those who feared abandonment were more likely to be ghosted than those who had not hung up.
“One possibility is that they were clingy and that they emotionally drained their ex-partners, making those partners more likely to take the easy way out and avoid the drama of a straightforward breakup,” psychologist Gwendolyn Seidman said. Psychology today.
So if you can do your best to exude confidence, independence and friendliness with a potential partner, you may be able to avoid being ghosted in the future, the research suggests.
“All you have control over is how you choose to communicate with the other person and the actions you take in response to their behavior,” licensed marriage and family therapist Omar Ruiz told Well+Good.
After reviewing the California State study, clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg said that if all else fails, there are ways to know when to give up on a ghost.
‘If one or two of your attempts to interact are met with no response, move on from your ghost. It just doesn’t fit well,’ she wrote.
Men and women are equally likely to be perpetrators of ghosting, a study shows
Wu and Bamishigbin interviewed participants who had pranked either a romantic connection, friend or family member to find out what their motives were.
About 97 percent of participants joked that someone was because they did not see a future with the person.
They cited clinginess along with sheer incompatibility and inappropriate behavior as the reasons they knew things weren’t going to work out.
As for why people joke: about 88 percent of participants joked was to avoid confrontation, and 53 percent joked because they didn’t want anything long-term with their potential partner.
One respondent said she joked because she knew her potential partner ‘didn’t want the same things as me, he wanted something more than I could give him at the time.’
According to for an investigation of 5,000 American adults, 47 percent of women admitted to pranking someone versus 44 percent of men.
Other psychologists note that if both people in a relationship communicate their needs early on, they are less likely to be disappointed and end up in a ghost scenario.
The lack of closure a person gets from ghosts can cause great distress, psychologists said
“Communicating wants, needs, and desires can be challenging, but these are essential qualities that are fundamental to building lasting love and healthy relationships,” sexologist Diane Litam told Forbes.
If it’s any consolation to someone whose ghost has been ghosted, those who did the ghosting don’t even feel happy about it afterwards.
After describing the initial relief, most respondents reported feeling guilty, bad, and regretful about their behavior.
To varying degrees, they acknowledged that they had hurt the people they pranked.
A 22-year-old participant, reflecting back on his behavior, said: ‘I don’t think there’s a good reason to ever prank someone… I mean, you’re at least robbing them of closure, if not robbing them of something other things. ‘