After enduring a challenging 18 months and battling mental illness, Roosters forward Angus Crichton went from being on the brink of losing his NRL career to becoming one of the league’s best back-rowers.
Now the NSW Blues star has revealed there were times last season when he wished he wasn’t on the field at all.
The 28-year-old has spoken openly about his admission to a psychiatric facility in France at the end of 2022 and his difficulties upon returning home.
Rumours circulated via text messages falsely claiming that Crichton had “fried his brain” with mushrooms in the Netherlands after the World Cup.
During his stay in France, Crichton suffered a manic episode that resulted in him receiving an electric shock, being immobilized and taken to a psychiatric facility.
French police initially suspected a reaction to some substance, but Crichton, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, clarified that his episode was not related to drugs or alcohol.
His parents flew to France to bring him back to Australia, where he received further treatment.
The road to recovery was difficult; at times, family and friends were concerned that Crichton was not following his medication regimen.
Crichton is pictured running onto the pitch during his return reserve-level game against Newtown.
Crichton has found love with his new partner Chloe Esegbona (pictured together), who supported him during his well-documented struggles.
The NSW Origin enforcer has since spoken openly about his mental health struggles, including the manic episode that followed his bipolar diagnosis in early 2023. He admitted he was not ready for his return to rugby league.
“Looking back to where I was last season when I came back, I was like, ‘How the hell was I trying to play last year in the state I was in?'” Crichton told the The Sydney Morning Herald.
“There were times on the field where I was like, ‘What am I doing here?’ I didn’t feel safe, or powerful, or strong. I wanted to be there and my mind was telling my body what to do, but I wasn’t in the right place to be able to do it.”
“There were times when I was like, ‘Dude, get me off this field.’ Now there are times on the field when the game is over and I don’t want it to end.”
Although the Roosters supported Crichton throughout his ordeal, which included multiple stays in mental health facilities early last year, his performances led the club to believe his services would not be required beyond 2024.
After a challenging 18 months, Crichton (pictured during the second game of this year’s series against Queensland) is back to his best at the Origin Arena.
The club even gave him permission to leave early as the Roosters tried, unsuccessfully, to sign Gold Coast defender David Fifita. Despite this, Crichton was determined to leave on a high note.
“I told people earlier this year that I wanted to remind people who I am and not be remembered as that guy who was locked up in a psych ward, but as that guy who’s a great football player. I think we’re starting to get back to that,” Crichton said.
‘I can understand why people would write me off, but if anything, when people don’t like you, you want to prove them wrong and go out and show them who I am and what I’m capable of.
‘The most important thing in sport and in life is inner belief and self-confidence.
“Believing that you are the best and that you can do and achieve whatever you set your mind to. If you support yourself and believe in yourself, that is the first step to achieving something great.”
“I never imagined my career would end like this. Now, looking back, I realize that it has taught me a lot. I have a lot of determination and courage, but also a lot of gratitude.
“As hard as it was, I wouldn’t change it because it made me the person I am today.”
Today, Crichton has overcome his struggles to become one of the most sought-after strikers in the competition.
The Roosters recently secured him a two-year extension worth around $1.65 million after months of negotiations.
He has also confirmed his relationship with girlfriend Chloe Esegbona, and the pair were pictured sharing a kiss ahead of the first State of Origin match in Sydney.
The Roosters tried to sign David Fifita and said Crichton might look elsewhere, before re-signing him after his major turnaround in form.
Crichton will play a big role for New South Wales in the Origin decision on Wednesday night
Crichton recently made history by becoming the first player to win back-to-back RLPA Player of the Month awards, thanks to his outstanding form for the Sydney Roosters.
He is now a crucial player as New South Wales prepare to face Queensland in the State of Origin series decider at Brisbane’s Suncorp Stadium on Wednesday.
During his hospitalisation in early 2023, Crichton was visited by rugby league legend Andrew Johns, who was full of praise for the NSW Blues enforcer.
“He’s very brave. He was in a very dark place and I just wanted to go and see him,” Johns told Nine’s Sunday Footy Show.
‘I’ve had some battles, it’s well documented, and when you’re going through it, you think you’re the only person going through it.
“I just wanted to say, ‘You’re not alone, you’ll get through this,’ and he has. The way he’s playing now is a credit to himself and the people around him.
“He seems very happy and looks fit and healthy… It’s great to see him back, not just on the pitch but living a healthy life. He’s a legend and a good-hearted guy.”