Some romantics might think that finding their partner is a matter of fate.
But beware: Believing your relationship is “meant to be” could lead to problems down the road, a study suggests.
Researchers have found that those who believe relationships grow through effort, on the other hand, tend to maintain higher levels of satisfaction over the years.
A team from the University of Basel recruited 904 couples from Germany, Switzerland, Austria and other countries.
They were between 18 and 81 years old and had been in relationships for varying lengths of time, from a few months to several decades.
Some romantics might think that finding their partner is a matter of fate, but beware: believing that your relationship is “meant to be” could lead to problems down the road, a study suggests (file image)
Researchers have found that those who believe relationships grow through effort tend to maintain higher levels of satisfaction over the years (file image)
Researchers asked participants to complete a questionnaire that assessed their beliefs about fate and growth as it relates to a relationship.
For example, they rated how much they agreed with statements such as “A successful relationship is primarily a matter of finding a compatible partner” or “A successful relationship is primarily a matter of learning how to resolve conflicts with a partner.”
Their relationship satisfaction was also measured through a questionnaire that asked, for example, how much a person loved their partner, how often their partner met their needs, and how good they thought the relationship was compared to most others.
The analysis revealed that people with strong beliefs in fate were more satisfied with their relationship at the beginning of the study.
However, their satisfaction declined more steeply over the two-year study period compared to those who had strong beliefs in growth.
The findings, published in the European Journal of Personality, suggest that the idea that relationships can improve through effort helps sustain higher levels of satisfaction over time.
Dr Fabian Gander, lead author of the study, said: ‘In romantic relationships, relationship satisfaction generally tends to decline over time.
‘However, the way we think about love can determine our satisfaction.
The analysis revealed that people with strong beliefs in destiny were more satisfied with their relationship at the beginning of the study. However, their satisfaction declined more steeply over the two-year study period compared to people who had strong beliefs in growth (file image)
‘People who believe that ‘love is meant to be’ are more satisfied with their relationship than those who don’t, but this belief does not protect them from becoming less satisfied with their relationship over time.
‘However, for those who believe that ‘love grows with effort,’ relationship satisfaction declines less over time and they have better future expectations for their relationship.
Convincing people that relationships can be cultivated and teaching them some ideas about how to do so could, if effective, provide evidence of a causal association between beliefs and relationship satisfaction.
‘It could also lay the groundwork for practical applications in couples therapy.’
