A new mother suffering from postpartum depression was so “emotionally numb” after giving birth that she wished she was dead and wanted to “stab her baby to death”.
The 30-year-old woman, whose name was not released, went to her local hospital four weeks after giving birth to her first child, a healthy baby boy.
The week before, she had called the center and stated that her nipples were so sore and bleeding that she was unable to breastfeed her baby and was afraid that this was impeding mother-child bonding.
The next day she told her husband: “I can’t go on like this. I can’t stand it any more. I can’t wake up feeling like this again.”
An anonymous 30-year-old mother from New England suffered from severe postpartum depression and OCD, leading her to have intrusive thoughts such as stabbing her baby.
The patient was so overwhelmed and distraught that she told her doctors: ‘The thought of being the mother of this baby for the rest of my life is too much for me.
“I don’t want to do this now or for the rest of my life. Sometimes I wish I was dead.”
The new mom, eventually diagnosed with postpartum depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder, is just one of millions of mothers who struggle with dark, intrusive thoughts after giving birth.
The CDC reports that about one in eight women experience postpartum depression, but experts predict that many go untreated, leading some to commit desperate acts of self-harm or infanticide.
And the disease, which is on the rise in the United States, could lead to long-term health problems in babies, including impaired cognitive development and obesity.
The woman in the case report, detailed in the New England Journal of MedicineShe had a normal pregnancy, with no complications other than high blood pressure.
He had a history of mild anxiety.
Immediately after birth, she was able to breastfeed and devoted herself to caring for the baby.
She was discharged after four days, but at home, the baby was having trouble latching on during breastfeeding and she called the hospital for advice on the issue.
She also told doctors she was having trouble sleeping and felt anxious.
Providers told the new mom to start bottle-feeding her son to ensure he was getting adequate nutrition and prescribed her an antidepressant.
A week later, the patient called the hospital again, concerned that her breastfeeding problems (including painful and bleeding nipples) were preventing her from bonding with her baby.
They also took his blood pressure, which had skyrocketed above the healthy range.
Doctors urged her to go to the hospital, where she told them she still had insomnia and anxiety, but was now also experiencing loss of appetite and headaches.
She was told to continue taking the antidepressant, along with two new medications: lorazepam for anxiety and nifedipine for high blood pressure.
The next day, the woman’s mood worsened even further. She told her husband: “I can’t go on like this. I can’t go on with this. I can’t wake up feeling like this again.”
He called the doctor’s office and was told to bring his wife in immediately.
There, she revealed other struggles she was experiencing, including that she sometimes couldn’t remember whether she had fed the baby and that she felt “lonely, isolated, distressed and unable to perform most childcare tasks.”
Former Victoria’s Secret model Chrissy Teigen has admitted to suffering from postpartum depression after the birth of her first child, saying the months following delivery were a “sad existence.”
Although she was “ready and prepared” to have a child during her pregnancy, once she returned home with her son, she felt “hit by a ton of trains.”
She would wake up every time the baby made the slightest noise, and even when he was sleeping, she couldn’t rest because she was so worried about him.
She repeatedly told doctors “the baby is a good baby” and that she did not want to hurt him, but she had intrusive thoughts about stabbing the baby.
The woman hallucinated while holding a knife and avoided the kitchen as much as she could since there were knives there.
Every time the delirium assailed her, she began to cry and tremble.
Lindsay Clancy, 32, (left), admitted murdering her daughter Cora, 5, and son Dawson, 3, at the family home in Massachusetts and attacking baby Callan, 8 months old. Mrs Clancy suffered from postpartum depression.
Although she spoke to other mothers online and asked for reassurance that she was not “a bad mother,” she kept her thoughts to herself for fear that her son would be taken away from her.
Doctors diagnosed the woman with postpartum depression, which they described as “one of the most common complications of childbirth.”
Typical symptoms include mood swings, anxiety, crying, feeling overwhelmed, irritability, difficulty concentrating and difficulty sleeping. Treatment usually involves a combination of therapy and antidepressants.
It affects between seven and 20 percent of mothers, experts say, and investigation suggests that cases increased during the pandemic due to less available support and stress from loss of income and unemployment.
However, the actual prevalence is still being investigated because the stigma associated with the disease means that many cases go unreported.
A 2006 University of Connecticut One study estimates that half of cases go undiagnosed.
In extreme cases, it can lead to postpartum psychosis, a mental health emergency that distorts a patient’s sense of reality, causing hallucinations, delusions and paranoia.
There is no single cause of postpartum depression, but women with previous mental health disorders or a family history of the condition may be particularly susceptible.
However, it can affect women even without a history of it due to intense hormonal fluctuations, lack and interruption of sleep, and difficulties in adapting to a new lifestyle.
Mothers who experience postpartum depression once are more likely to experience it again, although it is not guaranteed to occur with every pregnancy. Even with treatment, it can last for months or years after pregnancy.
The consequences of not treating it can be disastrous: suicide is the main cause of death in the postpartum period, according to studies.
And experts estimate that about one in 200 women with postpartum depression could be at risk of killing their children.
Lindsay Clancy, 32, from Duxbury, Massachusetts, was suspected of suffering from postpartum depression and psychosis after admitting strangling her three children Cora, five, Dawson, three, and Callan, eight months, to death before attempting to take her own life.
She is now paralysed after throwing herself out of a bedroom window and is due to stand trial next spring.
Former Victoria’s Secret model Chrissy Teigen also admitted to suffering from postpartum depression after the birth of her first child, saying the months following delivery were a “sad existence.”
Women suffering from postpartum depression often experience sadness, hopelessness, emptiness and depression.
The patient in the case study was also diagnosed with postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (postpartum OCD), which can cause new mothers to be overwhelmingly worried about accidentally harming their children.
It affects up to one in ten women and can lead to paranoid obsessions about harm to the baby, such as wondering if it will drown, stop breathing or be dropped by the mother.
The new mother was referred to a therapist and received care at a postpartum psychiatric clinic and continued taking antidepressants.
She also received partial hospitalization psychiatric care, which included daily intensive individual and group therapy for mothers with postpartum OCD.
In addition, he underwent exposure therapy, a type of psychological treatment that gradually exposes people to their fears with the goal of helping patients overcome them.
This included cooking with her baby in the kitchen to overcome her fears of knives and thoughts of stabbing her baby.
At her last follow-up appointment, she reported that she had bonded well with her baby and was “feeling more confident as a mother.” She is now a stay-at-home mom.