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The secret to raising successful children comes down to how resilient they are, an expert has revealed.
Dr. Tovah Klein, a child psychologist, author and director of the Center for Child Development at Barnard College, explained that most people tend to think of resilience as something they are born with, but it is actually a skill that is learned. can develop.
Describing resilience as the “ability to adapt, adjust, be flexible and face whatever comes your way with openness,” Klein said. CNBC does it It can be “hard for anyone, but it’s (especially) hard for kids, and it’s something that develops over time.”
Klein, who published the book Raising Resilience in September, revealed that there are ways to help your children become more resilient and outlined “five pillars.”
“We want our children to be able to deal with the difficult, challenging or bad things that come their way in life,” the expert explained. “To feel like they can handle it and that someone is there to help.”
Below are the five pillars that Klein suggests for raising resilient children.
Dr. Tovah Klein, a child psychologist, author and director of the Center for the Development of Young Children at Barnard College, explained that most people tend to think of resilience as something they are born with, but it is actually a skill that can be developed.
Building trust
Klein said the most important part of a relationship between a child and their parents is trust and making sure your children know that you are there for them no matter what.
She said making sure a child knows their parents love them, even during difficult periods, is vital for them to feel comfortable in their family dynamic and that reinforces the knowledge that their love is unconditional, even during disagreements.
“What kids learn is, ‘Oh, we can break up, we can come back together, and that really builds trust,'” Klein explained.
She added that the children will know: “(My parents) will love me even when I fall, even when I’m not listening.”
Regulate emotions
While trust is a vital part of a relationship, Klein urged parents to always be aware of their children’s emotions and validate their feelings.
“Children constantly learn about emotions,” the expert explained, adding that parents can help in several ways.
“First, identify those emotions, but also get comfortable feeling them, especially the negative ones,” she suggested.
The goal is for children to understand that their emotions and feelings are valid, but also for them not to be ashamed of them and learn to manage them.
Developing independence
As children get older, they naturally want to be more independent, and Klein says there’s a way for parents to give up some control and give kids the taste of freedom they crave.
Klein recommends that parents lean toward the authoritarian parenting style, which involves problem-solving with your child and, while encouraging open lines of communication, still setting limits and rules.
The expert told CNBC that this way children still have the security of knowing that their parents are there to help them, but they can still start to venture out and do things on their own.
The secret to raising successful children comes down to how resilient they are, an expert revealed (file image)
Connecting with others
Developing good social skills is another viral part of raising resilient children and contributes to their overall well-being.
“Children adopt confidence and the ability to confidently handle themselves in their relationships with others,” Klein explained.
She added that “empathy and compassion come from having relationships with people beyond the primary relationship with parents.”
To do this, Klein recommends planning play dates, group outings, and making sure they participate in activities that require teamwork.
be understood
Klein noted that it is essential for a child to feel accepted and loved so that they also love themselves.
“Children know when they have let us down,” he said. “The mistake we make is thinking that sometimes we are more open than we are about what we are going to accept in our child.”
He recommended praising the effort and hard work children put into something, rather than the end result.
