Gladiator II (Paramount Pictures)
For some, the original Gladiator from 24 years ago was Sir Ridley Scott’s masterpiece. Of course, it also gave us Alien, Blade Runner and Thelma & Louise, not to mention the famous 1973 Hovis ad, which features the delivery man pushing his bicycle up the steep cobblestone street. ‘It was like taking bread to the top of the world!’ – to the tune of Dvorak’s New World Symphony.
As uphill fights go, it was a breeze compared to the 20+ years it took to bring Gladiator II from the drawing board to the screen.
But the work has been done and, although this sequel rarely reaches the heights of the first film and takes some Roman liberties with historical truths, it is still worthy of a firm thumbs up.
Normal People stars Paul Mescal in Paramount Pictures Gladiator II
Lucius played by Paul and Marcus Acacius played by The Last Of Us star Pedro Pascal.
It stars the excellent Paul Mescal as Lucius, the young nephew of the cowardly Emperor Commodus in the first film.
Lucius hasn’t seen his mother, Commodus’ sister Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), in years. Somehow he ended up in Numidia in North Africa, where he forged a whole new life for himself, not to mention a powerful set of adult muscles.
Lucius has been living there in marital bliss, but that’s about to change. From the other side of the Mediterranean arrives the Roman fleet, led by the formidable general Marco Acacio (Pedro Pascal).
Lucius bravely leads the Numidian resistance, but in vain. He and his fellow soldiers are sent to Rome as slaves and, just to intensify his complaints, you can imagine what happens to his beautiful wife. Nothing good.
Throughout, you can almost hear the gears in Scott’s mind turning like wagon wheels as he and screenwriter David Scarpa devise unsubtle parallels to the original film, in which, as you may recall, Russell Crowe’s Maximus Decimus Meridius was “father of a murdered son.” , husband of a murdered wife’.
Soon, like Maximus before him, Lucius has been chosen for his thunderous gladiatorial qualities.
A shady arms dealer named Macrinus (Denzel Washington, camping his lines with barely concealed glee) makes him his champion, observing that “anger flows out of you like milk.”
Lucius is certainly undeterred by anything the Colosseum can throw at him, from killer baboons to, in a cinematic flourish that almost guarantees historians of ancient Rome will hurl their textbooks at the screen, a saddled rhinoceros warrior.
Paul pictured in the middle of a gladiator fight
Macrinus played by The Equalizer star Denzel Washington
And let’s not even get started on the wild sharks brought in to liven up a re-enactment of a naval battle.
Meanwhile, Rome has become a cesspool of depravity and corruption under the rotten rule of the slimy emperors Geta (Joseph Quinn) and his twin Caracalla (Fred Hechinger).
Hechinger is said to have modeled Caracalla on Johnny Rotten, while the syphilitic Geta was partly inspired by Sid Vicious.
Having grown fond of rhinoceros and sharks, I’m all for this unlikely fusion of ancient Rome and the Sex Pistols.
The over-the-top hideousness of the emperors borders on comedy, but it’s best not to take any of this seriously.
Unsurprisingly, there is no limit to the wild imperial ambitions of Geta and Caracalla. Having successfully annexed Numidia, Acacius is ordered to conquer Persia and India next.
In a truly decent cove, he realizes that the terrible twins (think Jedward in togas) are bad news for Rome. So he conspires with his wife, none other than the fragrant Lucilla, to overthrow them.
Lucilla is all for a coup, but before that, she has an important family matter to attend to, realizing that Lucius is her long-lost son. He’s made the connection too, but at first he doesn’t want anything to do with her.
Emperor Geta played by Game of Thrones star Joseph Quinn
Lucilla played by Wonder Woman star Connie Nielsen.
There is also the problem that she has sworn to kill her husband, Acacio, who we now know is her stepfather.
As for his real father, we already know his identity from the movie trailer, so this can’t count as a spoiler.
Lucius is the son of the heroic but dead Maximus, which certainly explains why he can subdue a murderous baboon while confusing everything the first movie led us to believe.
Yes, Scott’s lofty disregard for historical truths extends even to his own narrative, but let’s not hold that against him. At the age of 86, the old man still knows how to create a sword and sandals epic, so to hell with the facts.
Gladiator II opens in theaters on Friday.