The heartbroken stepfather of a 12-year-old girl who took her own life after relentless bullying has criticised the school’s “disappointing” response.
Charlotte O’Brien, a year seven student at Santa Sabina College in Strathfield in Sydney’s central west, took her own life earlier this month after two years of misery in which she said classmates used confidential information to bully her.
Her mother Kelly and stepfather Mat are now trying to rebuild their lives and are sharing their story in the hope that no other family will be affected by such a tragedy.
Charlotte’s final wish was for her story to be told, and she left notes in small, pink print for her parents to read, urging them to “tell the school” about her suffering and that life was “too hard”.
Mat said the response from the wider school community had been “overwhelming”, with parents and school friends leaving heartfelt letters, cards and home-cooked meals.
But he added that he has not yet heard directly from Santa Sabina following the death of her daughter.
“Beyond the response from the wider school community, I have to say I have been disappointed, to say the least, with the response the school has received,” he told 2GB’s Ben Fordham.
‘One of his comments was about there being inconsistencies in his records and I thought it was unnecessary to make that comment at a time when we were grieving.’
Mat said his daughter’s final wish was to raise awareness with her story.
Mat added that the school’s statement included a line saying other parents had reached out to them to say their children felt safe and supported at college.
“You know, those mothers who have given that school support, they will no doubt be planning to pick up their daughter from school today and we are not,” Mat said.
“It’s been heartbreaking. That said, I would still like the opportunity to meet with the school when the time is right.
“If I thought it came from a genuine place to make it better, I would gladly do it.”
Santa Sabina College principal Paulina Skerman previously defended the school’s management bullying, saying its anti-bullying policy was available on its website.
“Last week, I was overwhelmed by the number of emails and messages from our families talking about how their children feel safe and cared for at Santa Sabina College, and taking issue with the portrayal of our college as a place that fails to address issues that cause distress among our students,” she said in a statement.
‘Our students and families are very aware of the policy and procedures for reporting and resolving matters of concern, and clearly demonstrate the College’s approach to dealing quickly and appropriately with any concerns raised.
‘At the very heart of who we are as a Dominican Catholic school are the Gospel values of love, compassion and inclusion.
Charlotte’s stepfather Mat described her as incredibly selfless, adding that he and her mother are “devastated”.
‘To say that there is a culture of bullying at the College goes against the very fabric that holds our community together.
‘All members of staff at the school hold the care of your children close to our hearts and this has been reflected in the number of messages I have received from our families.
“We continue to work with our children to educate them on how to report serious matters and develop strategies to manage the complexities that life invariably presents,” the statement said.
The university added that its goal was to “support Charlotte’s family in their unimaginable grief” and other students and their families.
‘We continue to work with Headspace and other providers to ensure we are following the safest and most supportive practices for our community at this time.’
Following Charlotte’s death, Mat said he and his wife Kelly are “devastated.”
“Kelly and I tell each other every morning, ‘Let’s get to bedtime,'” she told the morning radio show.
“Losing our little girl at 12 is something we will never recover from.”
Mat said his daughter’s final wish was to raise awareness with her story.
Mat said his daughter’s final wish was to raise awareness with her story.
“I’m not looking for retaliation for these girls, I’m looking for schools to step in and take action when things first come up,” she said.
“I know these are difficult conversations for all of us, but we need to have them today.”
Mat described Charlotte as an incredibly selfless person who would save her own birthday money to buy gifts for her loved ones.
When he found out his mother was pregnant with his brother Will, his father said he got down on one knee and said it was the best gift he could have asked for.
Mat, who is not Charlotte’s biological father, added that the day Charlotte asked him to call him “dad” was one of the best moments of his life.
“We’ll never be able to celebrate his 13th birthday and I’ll never be able to teach him how to drive,” she continued.
‘She never graduated from school, she wanted to go to Macquarie University even though she couldn’t pronounce the word Macquarie.
“We’ll never see her graduate, I’ll never get to walk her down the aisle. She wanted seven kids, her own big family, and I’ll never get to meet her grandchildren.
“Our family is broken.”
A funeral service for Charlotte will be held on Friday.
For confidential assistance call Lifeline 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
