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Our brilliant advice columnist Bel Mooney has responded to thousands of letters from readers over the years. But what if the rich and famous came to her for unparalleled advice on their own problems?
Each week we invite Bel to look behind the headlines and reflect on an imaginary celebrity dilemma we’ve (ironically) made up for her. In turn, Bel will take the letter at face value, just as she does with all those that appear in her famous column each week.
She will give an honest answer, so celebrities and politicians, listen up! This week we imagine what English footballer Kyle Walker might write in a letter to Bel.
Dear Bel,
I have made some serious mistakes in my love life and I admit it. As a man in a leadership position, I am a role model, but I know I have not lived up to it.
My wife (my teenage girlfriend) and I have three children, with a fourth due any day. However, even though I seemed to have everything a man could want (good looks, a dream career, a beautiful family, an extremely generous salary), I played away. The other woman had my baby. My wife was understandably furious, but we reconciled, as long as I ended the affair.
But I came back and had a second child with the same woman. When my wife found out, it was the last straw for her. I feared my marriage was over. I publicly acknowledged my stupid decisions, but this angered the other woman.
Now, my wife and I are trying to rebuild our relationship, but it’s still early. How on earth can we move forward and do what is best for my (future) six children?
kyle
English footballer Kyle Walker
Bel Mooney responds: You’ve been honest, so I’ll be honest too. It is very difficult for any woman to read a letter like yours without burning herself into a pile of smoldering ashes on the floor.
Anger is not a powerful enough word. Throughout my long life and career, I have met many men like you, confident that they can “have” any woman they set their sights on. It seems that you are arrogant and self-centered enough to follow the stupid dictates of your powerful manhood without even thinking about how the women you impregnate. really feel.
Do you remember the feelings? No, I’m not talking about casual groping in the back of the club, but the kind of desperation a woman feels when she realizes that she’s been foolish enough to choose someone wrong.
You have behaved like a creature of the jungle, without caring about the consequences. Sadly, I don’t see any dignity in your pitiful story and your precious little love.
Oh, I’m sure you will briefly become affectionate with your hapless sixth child, as you did with all the others, but then you will continue with your successful and selfish life.
Then maybe (in a few years) you will look askance at another beautiful creature (younger than these two women, I bet) to walk with. So…voila, there’s another little Kyle or Kylie.
But I must try to take your letter at face value. You say you are sorry and that you really want to rebuild your life with the woman who has put up with you for so many years. I hope you realize that she can never trust you again.
You must also accept the fact that not a day will pass in which she does not consider you a fool and a cheater. If all the regrettable and embarrassing memories arise when she is angry with you, then it is difficult. Look into the future and your teenage girlfriend could turn into a bitter old woman yelling at you for what you did, and you’ll have to accept it and reap what you sowed.
So now ask yourself if you are man enough to accept that. It is also vital to be kind and generous to the other woman whom you also betrayed. This is a toxic mess, but you created it, so you better get down on your knees and clean it up.
How can you do the best for your children? Changing the man you are. End of.