A world-renowned divorce lawyer has revealed the top two things that make marriages fall apart and how you can avoid separating from your spouse.
James Sexton is a New York City-based family lawyer and author of the best-selling books How to Stay in Love and If You’re in My Office, It’s Too Late.
The lawyer has now given marriage advice on an episode of The Diary of a CEOpodcast hosted by Steve Bartlett.
He shared that the two main causes of divorce were infidelity and money, adding that while “cheating is huge, it’s only one component.”
On the podcast, James shared that the reasons behind the split could include a lack of sex.
A world-renowned divorce lawyer has revealed the two main causes of marriages falling apart and how to avoid separating from your spouse.
James Sexton is a New York City-based family lawyer and author of the best-selling books How to Stay in Love and If You’re in My Office, It’s Too Late.
He noted that men were accused of cheating more often than women and that tended to lead to divorce.
However, he added that this is not the only reason.
The lawyer explained: ‘Deception is a huge component, it’s an oversimplification.
‘Then someone comes in and says we’re getting divorced. Because? Because he sleeps with his secretary.
‘I get it, yes, it’s true, that’s one of the variables that led to your divorce, but you hadn’t slept with him in three years.
‘So I’m not saying that makes cheating forgivable, but are you saying that you had a really wonderful, healthy marriage and then this infamous secretary came into the picture and he was suddenly courted? No, there were conditions that made that very likely.
‘Let’s start backing up a little more because the truth is is at the bottom of a bottomless pit.’
James revealed that men were always looking for more sex, while women were looking for more quality intimacy.
The lawyer has now provided marriage advice in an episode of The Diary of a CEO podcast, hosted by Steve Bartlett.
The other reason people get divorced is because of financial problems, the lawyer said.
“Men want more quantity of sex, women want more quality,” he said.
The divorce lawyer explained that this had a lot to do with the reasoning behind why men sought out other women.
He suggested that this was also the reason pornography was more popular among men.
“It’s the same reason why porn is more popular among men than women, because men just want to do the work,” James said.
The other reason people got divorced was because of financial problems, the lawyer said.
He added: “There are two main reasons why people get divorced: infidelity, which we’ve talked about, and the other one we haven’t talked about, which is money.”
‘The money is force. Money has a lot to do with power. Everything in the world has to do with sex… and I think money has to do with power.
‘Money is about control. Money is about opportunity, security, it’s about a lot of things, but it’s not really about money.
‘METERoney is just a coin that we trade, so I think money has a lot of complicated things involved.
“People are dishonest with themselves and with money.”
She shared that when a woman is laid off and doesn’t make money, that doesn’t tend to lead to divorce.
James brought to light the most common divorces, in which money was involved.
He shared that when a woman was fired and did not contribute money, it did not usually lead to divorce.
However, she admitted that when men lost their jobs, women were not “attracted” to the idea of being a “breadwinner” and that tended to lead to separation.
“It’s about what money represents, it’s about power,” he said.
James said there were ways couples could avoid divorce.
The lawyer noted that couples must “pay attention” to each other to keep love alive.
He also gave some advice for men. James said men should leave love notes for their spouses to remind them how much they adored them.
He explained that while it would take “10 seconds,” he showed his partner that he cared.
In the past, James revealed that you should never have a fidelity or sunset clause in your prenuptial agreements.
“Fidelity” clauses mean that the prenuptial agreement is void if one person is unfaithful, and a “sunset” clause defines the time after which the terms of the agreement expire.