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The huge success of the Netflix series One Day, which tells the story of a long-lasting friendship turned into love, has sparked a fascination with understanding the complex chemistry that triggers the shift from companionship to sexual attraction.
Whether it’s the friend you’ve known since your school days, a former colleague you’ve been in touch with, your ex-partner’s best friend, or even your “work husband,” any perfectly platonic friendship can become overloaded with sexual tension. , unlocking an attraction that might have lain dormant for years.
People of all ages and at all stages of life can suddenly find themselves the subject of a secret crush. As a psychotherapist and relationship counselor, I am often asked, ‘How do I know if he likes me?’
The truth is that we don’t always know and part of the excitement is looking for clues.
What is not a good barometer is a way to flirt. Flirting is often little more than a game, allowing one or both of you to push boundaries safe in the knowledge that a relationship between you will never happen.
And don’t be seduced by physical contact either. A persistent touch could be a sign that he is willing to do something more, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is in love with you. In fact, a proper crush is often accompanied by social paralysis, a type of terror that makes it much harder for someone to consciously express their newfound devotion.
If you see signs, I urge you not to dive in too quickly. Take a moment to step back and think about your own desires, says Charlotte Fox Weber
So what are the signs? Here are some key, but subtle, clues to pay attention to.
A note of caution: If you see them, I urge you not to dive in too quickly. Take a moment to step back and think about your own desires. This man may be a close friend, you may have known him for years, but are you attracted to him? Do you care deeply about him? Do you want to be with him?
With all that considered, read on to find out if you’ve fallen madly in love. . .
1. His feet face you
When they are together in a group, check their feet: are they facing directly towards you? According to body language experts, this is a clear sign that he is interested in you and attracted to you, even if he doesn’t know that he is doing it.
2. He reflects you
Place one hand on your neck, cross and uncross your legs, put one hand on your hip. . . If he imitates your gestures, there is a good chance that he is so intensely focused on you (in a good way) that he doesn’t even know that he is unconsciously imitating your movements.
3. He is looking at you
Walk into a crowded room and look around: is someone watching you? If a man who was previously in the “platonic” camp has set his sights on you, it could be a sign that he’s particularly interested, even if he doesn’t realize it.
4. He is distant
Conversely, if your friend has become strangely distant and awkward and there is a sense of distance and disconnection that wasn’t evident before, this could be a sign that they have crossed the friendship line in their mind.
Being unusually nervous and self-conscious around you could mean something is up. Avoiding eye contact can be a self-protective measure when feelings become overwhelming; You might be terrified of being exposed and potentially rejected.
5. He remembers
If he begins to voluntarily remember moments from the past, but in surprising detail, it shows that he has really noticed you, that he thinks a lot about you, and that he has kept those memories alive over the years. This is even more revealing if the memories are accompanied by affectionate banter (‘do you remember when…?’)
6. He blushes
Turning red in the face in your presence is a classic sign of embarrassment and strong feelings, and we have no control over it.
7. Your spouse is effusive.
Sometimes the spouse can detect signs of attraction before the man realizes what he is thinking or doing, so watch for a change in behavior. She may become unfriendly or suspicious of you, or she may become effusive and ingratiating as a way to defuse what she perceives as a threat to your relationship.
For her, it might be about keeping your friends close, but your “enemies” closer.
8. He apologizes
If he apologizes for doing or saying something that may have happened in the distant past (perhaps making fun of you or joking), this could be a sign that he has started to think of you differently.
We all mature over time and he may look at you in a new light and reflect on past actions. An apology shows that you care in a new and potentially different way.
As he told Louise Atkinson.