There’s no denying that the ways people date have changed dramatically over the last decade, with more and more singles finding romance on dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, and even using social media to meet new love interests.
From sharing screenshots of potential matches with their girlfriends to posting creepy voice notes from their exes on TikTok, women are sharing their dating failures and disasters for all to see, and it’s leaving men quite worried.
In an interview with DailyMail.com, internationally renowned psychotherapist and sexologist Dr. Tammy NelsonPh. D, has revealed that many younger men do not want to date women their age because they are “afraid” of being ridiculed on the Internet.
As part of his podcast, The problem with sexDr. Nelson, who created the concept of The Monogamy Continuum, conducted several interviews, including some with younger men who enjoy relationships with older women.
“What I hear from college-aged men is, ‘I’d rather stay home, watch porn, and masturbate,'” he explained, before adding, “They say, ‘I’m afraid to go on a date because if I do something wrong, all the friends in social media will know, they will accuse me of something I didn’t know I did, and even the good things will be on social media and I don’t want that.”
A sex therapist has revealed some of the reasons why men prefer to date older women
Younger men are worried about dating women their own age because they fear it will end up on social media.
She explained that these young people don’t want everyone to know about their business and they know there’s no danger of that happening with older women because they’re less likely to be using apps like TikTok.
“Older women don’t post every detail about a date on social media,” Dr. Nelson said, before detailing the advantages men enjoy when dating or having a relationship with an older woman.
“Then men said, ‘Oh, older women are so much more confident, they know what they want sexually, they know how to have an orgasm, they know how to ask for what they want in bed,'” she revealed.
She also recalled them saying, “I don’t have to worry about getting them pregnant, sometimes they don’t even get their period and they’re not going to bother me about marrying them, so I don’t have the pressure that I have with younger women.”
Bedroom antics are certainly important when it comes to the dynamic between a younger man and older woman, and they clearly have something to do with trust.
“These women have no qualms about communicating,” Dr. Nelson explained. ‘They’ll say, “a little to the left,” and may have multiple orgasms, whereas younger women are a little shy or not as confident in their bodies.
‘(They have) body image issues, whereas older women were like, “Look, I am who I am, I don’t care about holding my stomach in anymore, I don’t care how I look in certain positions.”
“From a sex therapist’s perspective, that’s called staring, where you leave your body, look down and say, ‘Oh my God, I look so fat in this position or I can’t make my thighs look like this.’
Younger men like the fact that older women are not shy about communicating what they want in the bedroom.
Laura Dern and Liam Hemsworth portray a romance with age differences in the Netflix film Lonely Planet
“It takes you out of your body, so you can’t feel pleasure, you can’t have an orgasm, you’re not really present, and older women don’t do that,” Dr. Nelson explained.
“So men feel, ‘This woman is really here, she’s really present, she’s confident in her body.'” She doesn’t protect or cover up, and I think that makes a big difference.
‘That’s pleasure, being able to really be present and be in your body. And if you’re anxious, you’re not in your body and you can’t feel pleasure, then you can’t have an orgasm.’
And it seems to work both ways, as she’s found that older women are impressed with the stamina a younger man has between the sheets.
“When I asked them what happens to younger men, they said, ‘Well, they last longer.’ They have a shorter period where they need to restart afterwards,” Dr. Nelson said.
“So if you’re 25 it will take 20 minutes to get another erection, if you’re 60 it might take two days, it’s called the refractory period.” Therefore, the refractory period is much shorter, which is more fun for older women, especially older women who can have multiple orgasms.
“And these men are so excited and grateful to have these women who like sex so much that they feel like they’re free to enjoy it, there’s no pressure and the older women feel like ‘these guys just adore me.'”
According to Dr. Tammy Nelson, younger men like the fact that there is no pressure when dating an older woman.
Dr. Nelson is a sex and relationship expert, psychotherapist, and author.
When asked if these types of relationships can stand the test of time and be more than “just sex,” Dr. Nelson responded: “I think for people to establish a relationship of trust with anyone they go with to go to bed, it takes time. attention, affection and then sex.
‘You have to spend some time, whether it’s on the internet, emails, coffee, really spending some time, seeing what attention is like in the relationship. Even if you just want to have casual sex, it’s still time, attention, affection and sex.’
Dr. Nelson said problems could arise in cross-age romances when it comes to “cultural references,” such as what music people listen to, but stressed that “it’s not necessarily a deal breaker.”
‘It could be interesting for people because they are learning from each other. “I think it has more to do with family pressure, like family and friends saying, ‘Are you bringing this person to Thanksgiving?'” she revealed.
However, with cross-age relationships increasingly portrayed in the media, with recent films like Lonely Planet, starring Laura Dern and Liam Hemsworth, and Nicole Kidman’s A Family Affair, perhaps an older woman dating an older man young is becoming the norm.
“Maybe it’s a positive sign that society is less concerned with what we’re supposed to do and more concerned with who we fall in love with,” Dr. Nelson said.
“On the other hand, it could be a sign that people focus more on how people’s bodies look and are attracted to younger people, I’m not sure, it could go either way.”