A British journalist says parents raising children should see their children as “complex, emotional creatures” and not treat them like dogs who simply need “food and exercise” to thrive.
Former BBC producer Ruth Whippman, who is from the United Kingdom but now lives in North Berkeley, California with her husband Neil Levine and their three young children, is the author of BoyMum, a new book about raising children in the age of toxic masculinity.
The term #BoyMum, or #BoyMom as it is known in the US, is often used as an insult against mothers who appear to favor their sons.
The feminist writer appeared in Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour yesterday to discuss mistakes fathers make, saying that stereotypes like “boys can’t sit still, boys don’t like to read, boys just want to play with trucks” can be harmful to future men.
British journalist Ruth Whippman, who shares three children with her husband in California, has written a new book, BoyMum, about the mistakes modern parents make when raising their children.
Journalist Whippman says research for the book has seen her adapt the way she raises her three children.
The mother of three says research for the book, known as BoyMom in the United States, has changed the way she now treats her three children.
Speaking to the show’s host Nuala McGovern, Whippman said parents now tend to be more progressive when raising their daughters, saying: “We talk about girls in this really expansive and inspiring way, so it’s like, ‘You can be Anything, you’re strong, you’re tough, you’re brave, break those stereotypes.”
However, he said parents often fail their children by simplifying their needs.
She explained: ‘We tend to talk about children in a quite essentialist way. That’s why I hear a lot: “Children are like dogs. All they need is exercise and food and it just tires them out.”
Woman’s Hour host Nuala McGovern agreed that she had heard people say that “children are like dogs” on Tuesday’s show. Right: BoyMum, or BoyMom as it’s called in the US, was published this week.
The book calls the way parents are raising their children “one of society’s most urgent cultural projects” (pictured: Whippman’s three children)
Whippman said that while there was “a grain of truth” in that idea, it was “very limiting” and recent research shows that fathers reflect “masculine qualities in boys from infancy,” including “fighting” with them and, In general, dealing with them “more roughly.” ‘what daughters.
For example, if a boy cries, he is considered “more angry than sad, while he sees his daughters in distress.”
The journalist urged parents of children to reconsider their way of parenting, saying: “I think what children really need is a lot more emotional care and talking about their feelings; parents need to see children as completely complex emotional creatures and really try.” to nurture that side of them.’
The book, published this week, calls for changing the way boys are raised to become men “one of society’s most urgent cultural projects” and discusses how young men are often more vulnerable to becoming incels. and to radicalization than their female peers due to their childhood.
He said he chose the title BoyMum/BoyMom after seeing the hashtag take off online and said: “ICatch this tension, there’s a conflict built into it, ‘the idea that a woman gives birth to a child who is fundamentally different from her – packs a lot of different sexist tropes into one little word.’
BoyMum by Ruth Whippman is published by Hachette UK and is available now