Whether it’s fashion or beauty, I’ve never been very quick to pick up on trends.
It took me years to go from my trusty Millennial side part to Gen Z’s middle part, only for the side part to apparently be back.
So I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the hairstyle of the summer is one I had long been planning myself: the bob. For months I had dreamed of cutting my previously chin-length hair, so I finally made an appointment at the hairdressers.
Libby felt it was time to change her appearance…but she faced opposition from her husband.
Every time I tell her I’m going to the hairdresser, she cringes, writes Libby
And for once, my delay in putting said plan into practice is not due to my own stylistic stubbornness but to another rather significant obstacle.
My husband.
Every time I tell him I go to the barbershop, he cringes. Not because he’s worried about the price (he’s not aware of the huge price difference between his barbershop and most hair salons), but because he’s terrified of change, particularly any change in the length of my hair.
In his opinion, the more hair I have, the better. Over the years we’ve been together, my hair has ranged from shoulder length to collarbone to chest length. He’s expressed affection for it at all these lengths, but he’s always disappointed by every inch it loses and still shudders with horror whenever it’s time for a haircut.
He’s not alone in this, as it seems that many men react with at best caution and at worst outright panic at the thought of their partners going from having long hair to short hair.
A staunch feminist friend tells me that she had to get her husband’s “permission” to cut her hair from mid-back to shoulder-length. When I tell another that I’m getting a bob, she tells me that she had suggested the idea to her partner days before, but he only responded with a resounding “no way.” You’d think we were suggesting that she cut off a limb.
I wait until a week before the appointment to break the news. I had planned to leave it for the morning, but I think it’s better to give him time to “process.”
“I’ve booked a haircut for next week,” I say as we drive through our town. There it is, the shudder. A slight pucker of the lips. I take a breath.
Nick Peters gets to work on Libby’s locks
If anyone could make my desired ‘box bob’ (straight and one length) work for me, it was him.
“I’m going to give myself a blowjob.” We approach the traffic light, which has turned red. I don’t know if under normal circumstances I would have slammed on the brakes so hard.
—What! —Her eyes are wide. —But… But… you’ll look like Ann Widdecombe!
I burst out laughing when he grunts. I can see he’s torn between laughing at the thought of me with the fringe haircut Ann sported in her prime and being completely serious at the thought that he, to put it mildly, doesn’t think it suits me.
I jump out of the car to head to my gym class. ‘Don’t worry! It’ll look fine! We can talk about it later!’ I think this is the most worried I’ve ever seen him.
While I’m away, she sends me unflattering screenshots of other famous women sporting bobs, all of them over 60 and all, oddly enough, politicians. She clearly hasn’t seen the “sexiest bobs of 2024” lists featuring Sydney Sweeney, Zendaya and others. You might be surprised not to find Theresa May on any of them.
When I brought up the subject again, it was clear that he had changed his mind. “I like that you have long hair,” was all he could think to say, “but I would never tell you what to do with it.” Thank God for that.
But it makes me wonder. Will I look horrible? Does long hair suit me better?
The more I think about it, the more I realize that the length of a woman’s hair is a topic that society is strangely interested in.
At one point, we stopped to evaluate and decided to shorten it by half an inch. It was the right decision.
If you’re going to cut your hair, you might be told you’re “brave,” but I don’t think the same has been said about a woman who gets extensions. And while we’ve moved on from the archaic idea that a woman over a certain age shouldn’t have long hair, there’s still resistance to women of all ages cutting their hair shorter.
From American evangelical parents forcing their daughters to wear their hair waist-length to the number of men online declaring they prefer to date women with long hair, why are so many people obsessed with it?
It’s actually quite simple: long hair has been considered a sign of femininity and sexuality for centuries. It’s the same reason why many religions require women to cover their hair.
And it’s something I’ve internalized, too. When I have longer hair, I tend to feel prettier; when I look back at photos from years ago, I always prefer photos of myself from times when I had longer hair. I even feel slimmer when I have longer hair—the volume of my locks balances out the curve of my thighs, perhaps? It’s crazy, but in my mind it’s true.
But despite my husband’s objections and my own reservations, I want to start over. My desire for longer hair, combined with unkempt styling, has left me with frayed, unmanageable ends.
Not to mention the fact that the last haircut I got I hated with such a passion that I wore it half up to cover it up for months after the (male) hairstylist refused my request to cut a few inches off my postpartum hair and instead chose to “save” it (in his words) by cutting unflattering layers into my hair – exactly what I had asked him not to do.
I’m not taking any chances this time. I’ve booked an appointment with Nick Peters, an art consultant at Daniel Galvin’s (no relation) flagship salon in Marylebone, London, one of the few hairdressers I’ve ever trusted.
If anyone could make my desired ‘box bob’ (straight and one length) work for me, it was him.
She’s been cutting bobs all summer and says it’s not uncommon for clients to report that their partners have an aversion to any changes to their loved one’s hair.
Safe in Nick’s hands, I let it do its thing. At one point, we stopped to assess it and decided to cut it half an inch shorter. It was the right decision. When it was finished, I was thrilled: it’s even better than I expected.
In fact, I’m so happy with the cut that I’m confident my husband will be too. Although he’s reluctant to let me change my hair, I’ve noticed over the years that he’s also adapting very quickly to the “new normal.”
I pick him up at the station after work and when he stares at me, I see the relief on his face that he does like it after all. His verdict? “Wow! Very cute.” I can’t help but wonder if all the fuss was because I had mistaken a bob for a buzz cut…
(tags to translate)dailymail
