Joe Biden’s campaign died on the debate stage last night, and who is to blame?
The bad doctor, Jill Biden.
Democrats were thrown into crisis when their worst fears came true: The zombie in the Oval Office convulsed and snorted with a hoarse voice, incoherent meowing, mumbling, and total dysfunction for 90 tortuous minutes.
Jill knows the bitter truth of the bedroom better than anyone. Yet there she was, dressed in a blue hospital uniform, lifting his femur and guiding him offstage, Nurse Ratched with an Oscar de la Renta.
“Four more years,” he shouted to a crowd of partygoers who had clearly seen a different debate.
“Joe, you did a great job, you answered all the questions!” she said condescendingly, like a babysitter congratulating a toddler for keeping his diaper dry.
Joe Biden’s campaign died last night on the debate stage, and who do we have to blame? The bad doctor, Jill Biden.
Jill knows the bitter truth of the bedroom better than anyone. Yet here she came, dressed in a blue hospital gown, holding his stiff upper lip and leading him offstage, Nurse Ratched to Oscar de la Renta.
No doubt the presidential puppet has some explaining to do.
Here’s what Baghdad Biden said in January: ‘I see Joe every day. I accompany him, you know, traveling around this country. I see the vigor of him. I see the energy in him. I see the passion in him… his age is an advantage.”
Still believe it? As the defibrillator is charged for one last reboot, the establishment finally sends the old horse back to the glue factory.
The headlines in the New York Times came in like bullets:
‘JOE SHOULD BE OUT OF THE RACE’
“BIDEN CAN’T CONTINUE LIKE THIS”
‘PRESIDENT BIDEN, IT’S TIME TO LEAVE’
On CNN and MSNBC, the morning atmosphere was practically funereal.
Last night’s account from the White House, regurgitated between grimaces by Rachel Maddow and company, that Sleepy simply had a “cold,” was no longer substantiated.
His performance was truly terminal, a cold that turned into a full-blown medical catastrophe.
Just minutes into the bullshit circus, Biden had choked on his word salad.
‘There are a thousand billionaires in America… I mean billionaires… we’ve finally beaten Medicare!’
Hey!?
A week holed up in a hyperbaric chamber, pumped full of peptides and Powerade, and this is the best he could do?
Even on the easiest of anti-Donald arguments – abortion, January 6 – he couldn’t find the words:
‘There are a lot of women who have been raped, including a young woman who was just murdered and he (Trump) went to her funeral. The idea that she was murdered by an immigrant who came into the country… there are a lot of young women who are being raped by their in-laws, their husbands, their brothers and sisters.’
Moderator Dana Bash interrupted him and aired his misery with a terse but pointed “thank you,” leaving Trump to deliver the killing blow.
Don’s Killer Line: “I really don’t know what he said at the end of that sentence. I don’t think he knows what he said either.”
Desperate and demented, Joe attempted to unsettle his enemy by accusing him of having ‘sex with a porn star, while his wife was pregnant!’
“Joe, you did a great job, you answered all the questions!” she said condescendingly, like a babysitter congratulating a toddler for keeping his diaper dry.
But while you can’t spell Melania over MIA, it seemed like Don had borrowed some of his wife’s steely, stiletto bearing.
“I did not have sex with a porn star,” he replied calmly, leaving Biden looking like his dirty, sex-obsessed uncle.
Things became absurd and descended into Angry Codger Olympics as Biden claimed Trump was “only three years younger,” both boasted about their handicap in golf, and each insisted the other was the “worst president ever.” the history”.
On immigration and identity policy, Trump struck clean blows.
Biden’s ridiculous claim that Border Patrol had endorsed him in 2020 was fact-checked in real time… by the Border Patrol union’s Twitter account (!), which responded: “To be clear, we have never and will never endorse Biden.”
Meanwhile, Trump’s big speech about the illegal “theft” of black and Hispanic jobs doused the embers of the culture war that Biden tried to stoke with tired jabs like “caged children” and “good people on both sides” in Charlottesville .
That stale, disproven nonsense has long worn out and will not have persuaded ordinary Americans who are still worried about their grocery bills, inflation and unaffordable housing.
You know things were going badly when the Vice President herself, the Babbling Czarina, started looking pretty confident in her post-debate softball session with Anderson Cooper.
The president had a “slow start,” he acknowledged, before lying with a laugh: “He’s fighting on behalf of the American people on substance, on policy, on performance. Joe Biden is extraordinarily strong.”
Cooper, with his hairdo, choked on his fly; Biden’s performance was a “disaster,” he whined.
New York Magazine came out early with its article: “Biden Failed.” And in the morning, there was only one news story in town:
‘Panic for Democrats’ – The Washington Post
‘OPERATION: REPLACE BIDEN’ – The Drudge Report
“Biden’s debate gamble backfired horribly” – LA Times
But as the oatmeal corners of Joe’s soft mind come to the surface, and America finally turns mass For asking her to leave, will Dr. Jill Biden be sued for marital malpractice?