An Orthodox Jewish woman has gained support across the country after her husband refused to sign papers granting her a divorce, considered her right under laws governing marriage within her community.
For many Americans, the decision to end a marriage would be as simple as going to divorce court, regardless of whether their partner agrees.
The situation is markedly different for Malky Gold Berkowitz, 30, who tried to separate from her husband after three years of marriage, alleging that Wolf ‘Volvy’ Berkowitz was physically abusive.
This mother of two children lives in Kiryas Joel, an ultra-Orthodox town in Orange County, New York, considered extremist even by other conservative sects.
Women within the community cannot drive. They are expected to marry at 18 to have children and must keep their heads shaved and covered.
A matchmaker put her in touch with Volvy when she was 21, already considered an old age to marry. She only spent 15 minutes with Volvy before her wedding.
Malky Gold Berkowitz, 30 (left), filed for divorce from her husband after three years, alleging abuse. Malky spent just 15 minutes with Wolf ‘Volvy’ Berkowitz (right) before they got married
While the men have the final say on whether a divorce can proceed, Malky was left trapped, but her plight gained support from advocates across the country.
Protests have broken out around the world, in Malky’s hometown of Kiryas Joel, New York (pictured), as well as other cities such as Los Angeles and Jerusalem.
Shortly after they married, Volvy began acting “erratically,” Malky said. New York Magazine.
He was diagnosed with schizophrenia and hospitalized several times, once for running with a knife and another for allegedly exposing himself to a minor.
In a complaint filed in Rockland County, Malky claimed that Volvy had abused her and warned her three-year-old daughter that she would become sexually aroused if she sat on his lap.
“The situation was getting worse year after year,” Malky told the publication.
When begging Volvy for a divorce decree didn’t work, she asked her family for help, but they, unsurprisingly, sided with her.
In Orthodox Jewish marriage, a man has the absolute right to reject a divorce decree or gett. Malky’s trap has turned her into an ‘agunah’ or chained woman.
If she remarried without obtaining her gett, Malky’s future children would be considered ‘mamzers’ and prohibited from marrying other Jews. This penalty does not apply to the children of men who remarry without obtaining a religious divorce.
The protests were organized by Adina Sash, an activist and EMT based in Flatbush, Brooklyn.
Sash called on Orthodox women to protest against the mikveh, a religious bath that is considered a ritual cleansing of a woman after her period and a prerequisite for having sex.
The ‘sex strike’ was aimed at putting pressure on men, who control all Orthodox institutions.
Sash (left) urged Orthodox Jewish women to protest the mikvah in solidarity with the ‘aguns’ or ‘chained women’ who were denied divorces. A plane flew over Kiryas Joel in February with a banner reading: “Free Malky!” Give it a Gett! Free Aguno!
When all seemed lost, Adina Sash took up the cause. Sash is a Brooklyn-based activist and paramedic for Ezras Nashim, a female-staffed ambulance corps that strictly serves Orthodox women in her community.
In early February, Sash organized a protest in Malky’s hometown. She was joined by dozens of other women who stood in the cold for hours, brandishing signs saying ‘Free Malky’ while chanting: ‘Give a gett!’
They encountered counterprotesters, both men and women, who looked at them disapprovingly and exchanged heated words with the activists.
But this did not deter them. Days later, a plane flew over Kiryas Joel with a banner proclaiming: “Free Malky!” Give it a Gett! Free Aguños!’
A month later, Sash decided to organize a mikvah strike. The Mikveh is a religious bath performed after the menstrual period to make her ritually pure and is required before a woman can have sexual relations with her husband.
“Mitzvah night is cancelled,” Sash wrote in a March 7 Instagram post.
‘Retaining a Gett is fine but retaining relationships is not? Men can’t spend a night without intimacy but Agunos can wait years? Will you join in solidarity with Agunos?
He pleaded with members of the community to meet with rabbis who could encourage the giving of the gett to Malky.
The defense has had its challenges, such as Sash being branded a “terrorist” who was “killing the future of Jewish children and breaking up more marriages” on social media.
Malky begged Volvy for a divorce, unsuccessfully, and asked his family for support, but they took his side.
Thanks to the support of the community, Malky was able to get a date to proceed with the civil divorce. She and Volvy are due to appear in court later this month.
The movement has since spread to Orthodox communities in Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Los Angeles and even Jerusalem.
At one rally, Sash rented a truck equipped with an LED screen displaying words of support: “Free Malky,” “Volvy Give a Gett” and messages in Yiddish addressed to the Berkowitz family.
But leading the charge has come with challenges, including harassment and hateful comments on social media.
One faceless netizen called her a “terrorist” who was “killing the future of Jewish children and breaking up more marriages.”
‘You preach freedom, but you tell others what to do and how to live. Anything for content and money. That’s why you do it, admit it,’ the user growled.
Below the message announcing the mikveh strike, a man responded: “I’ll do it twice on Friday night in case a woman thinks she made a difference.”
Opponents are so committed that their hostility has turned into violence. On May 5, Sash announced that the driver of the LED truck had been “assaulted with a hammer and had his vehicle stolen.”
“Many individuals appear to prioritize causing widespread public disgrace over freeing Malky from four years of captivity,” he wrote while naming the man responsible for the attack.
But Sash refused to walk away from the cause. On Thursday, he encouraged people to donate to a fundraiser for Mesivta Tiferes Shmuel and leave messages in honor of Malky.
The 30-year-old finally got a date to proceed with the civil divorce. She and Volvy are due to appear in Rockland County Family Court later this month.
While his fate remains uncertain, Malky has not lost hope. Sash shared a prayer last month in which Malky reaffirmed his trust in God.
“I have the belief that… freedom will come my way… I cherish the faith that… a radiant future awaits me and my beloved children,” Malky wrote. ‘Prayer is our most powerful weapon, a Jew’s greatest possession!’