I have a busy, intense job at a PR firm where I have been for the past five years – there is no “relaxed” day at work.
I know my boss is happy with my performance, feedback has always been good, but for the past year I feel like I really want to ask for a pay cut in exchange for working fewer hours – my teenage children need me more.
My husband says this is career suicide and that I should ask for a reduction in my hours and not mention salary. What do you think?
Not mentioning salary is risky because it wants to make it clear that by contributing fewer hours to work, one should not be expected to contribute the same amount of work, responds Vicky Reynal.
Money psychotherapist Vicky Reynal answers: I would love to understand more about why your husband thinks mentioning salary would make it worse.
Do you imagine that asking for a pay cut will send a signal that you have reduced your commitment to your job? It is “fair” to the employer, who should only pay you for the hours you work, and to you, because giving up the money frees you from the obligation to do as much work as if you were working full-time.
But surely asking to work fewer hours could also be sending this message (and we can talk about managing this risk).
Are you thinking that a pay cut will keep you stuck at a lower salary? This is unlikely as it is proportional to hours, so if you were to return to your regular work schedule, the salary would reflect this.
Or does your husband think it’s better to give the impression that you’d do the same job but in fewer hours? Let’s assume it’s the latter.
It sounds like you’ve evaluated your priorities and decided that time with your children is more important at this stage of your life.
By giving up pay equivalent to your current hours, you are buying time to spend with the children.
Not mentioning salary is risky because you want to make it clear that by contributing fewer hours to the job, you shouldn’t be expected (and wouldn’t want to be expected) to contribute the same amount of work, especially since you’ve told me the job is already intense and busy enough as it is.
There are jobs where five days can be delivered in four days, in which case a pay cut may not have to be part of the agreement, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case with you.
Failing to mention salary would also give the wrong impression that you’re asking for flexible hours (i.e. being able to work during hours with the kids, evenings, or weekends) rather than an actual reduction in the amount of time you want to work.
Your salary should reflect that.
It is ‘fair’ to the employer, who only has to pay you for the hours you work, and to you, because by giving up the money you are freed from the obligation to deliver as much work as if the job were full-time.
As for the impact on your career, there are some risks inherent in your choice. For example, if they are looking for someone to promote, it would be understandable if your boss would be more inclined to choose someone who is more available and shows that the job is their top priority.
But you can think of things that are within your control that could minimize the dreaded impact on your career.
You can make a conscious effort to contribute more to the work in ways other than hours (more ideas, more energy, more initiative) to demonstrate your continued commitment as well as your gratitude for their flexibility in granting your request.
It is important to discuss the expectations of both parties as you negotiate the agreement, showing a cooperative attitude and listening to your employer’s concerns.
Financial Psychotherapist Vicky Reynal
If you’re a people-pleaser, you may find it difficult not to fall into the trap of agreeing to deliver the same amount of work or generally promising more than you’d be willing to do and then having to deal with resentment if you end up working similar hours for reduced pay.
You should go into the conversation knowing that you might face some resistance and that you’ll have to negotiate some boundaries, being careful not to give in too much.
Think about what would happen if you didn’t say anything about salary and your employer didn’t either: it might feel like a win in the short term (because you’d be getting away with working fewer hours for the same amount of money), but you might start to feel pressure to do the same work in less time, and you’d be in a difficult position to turn down any additional work.
If you feel that the salary reduction will not overwhelm you with financial anxiety, I would consider following your desire to be with your children.
Considering how many people look back and wish they had spent more time with family and less time at work, the question you need to ask yourself is: Do you want to prioritize money and career advancement over spending time with your children at this point in your life?
Do you have a question for Vicky Reynal? Email vicky.reynal@dailymail.co.uk.
Vicky’s book Money On Your Mind: The Psychology Behind Your Financial Habits, from Bonnier Books, £16.99, is available now.
Some links in this article may be affiliate links. If you click on them we may earn a small commission. This helps us fund This Is Money and keep it free to use. We do not write articles to promote products. We do not allow any commercial relationships to affect our editorial independence.