When Ashley Levinson was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer in 2023, she thought she could count on the love and support of her family.
But soon after he told them the devastating news, his relatives fell silent. The calls stopped coming and so did the text messages of encouragement. It was as if they had disappeared.
Ms. Levinson, a retired nurse from New Jersey, was a victim of phantom cancer: when friends and loved ones cut off all contact after someone receives a cancer diagnosis.
The loss of friends and some family members was distressing and completely inexplicable.
The heartbreaking phenomenon is extremely painful for the cancer patient who suddenly finds himself alone.
Beating cancer requires the support of a village of close friends and family, as well as a comprehensive medical team of oncologists and counselors to help deal with the myriad psychological effects of being diagnosed with the disease.
Ms. Levinson’s experience of losing family members during the most difficult time of her life is not uncommon.
In fact, a survey of cancer patients found that 65 percent had seen their friends and family cut off contact after revealing their diagnosis.
Karen Selby, a registered nurse at the Mesothelioma Center in Orlando, Florida, told DailyMail.com about a cancer patient she cares for who said that since his diagnosis eight months ago “all but one of his friends have stopped communicating with him.” full”.
Ashley Levinson was abandoned by friends and family when she was diagnosed with breast cancer last year.
Mrs. Levinson said alphabet the lack of contact with family members “was really a punch in the gut when the people who I thought were my main people weren’t there for me.”
Fortunately, she still had the love and support of her two children, Hannah, 21, and Jake, 23, who were with their mother the entire way.
Often when family members or friends cut off contact with a sick person, it has nothing to do with the sick person.
Instead, “ghosting” arises from fear or trauma from similar previous experiences and may be a person’s way of protecting themselves.
Levinson believes her family members stopped talking to her because of the trauma of losing another family member to breast cancer years earlier.
She said: “Maybe they felt that ignoring it would make it go away.” But as we all know, cancer doesn’t go away on its own.’
Patients who have detailed their experiences with cancer ghost images said they reminded their family members of the death every time they saw each other, and that those family members didn’t know how to handle it.
Natasha Carlson was abandoned by two close friends aged 22 after she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018, she wrote for curatoday.com.
She wrote that she didn’t talk to those friends for more than a year after being diagnosed.
She said: ‘No responses to emails, texts, phone calls. Even when I reached out because he was confused and hurt, this did not elicit any kind of reciprocal response.
‘Honestly, this was one of the most painful parts of the entire cancer experience for me. Losing my breasts was difficult. Losing my close friend of 22 years…wasn’t something I had even remotely thought could happen.
“It was a bitter and painful lesson that I was forced to learn during a particularly vulnerable time in my life.”
Ms Levinson is pictured after her mastectomy this year. Patients experiencing cancer have shared that their family members avoided them because seeing each other reminded them of death, leaving family members unsure of how to cope.
Ms Levinson is pictured with her two children who have been by her side throughout the ordeal, attending chemotherapy treatments with her and supporting her recovery.
He wondered if his friends couldn’t be there due to personal struggles, but wondered why they didn’t reconnect after their difficult times were over.
She believed shame at abandoning her friend, guilt, shame or poor mental health could be factors. And while she may never know the reasons, Carlson has come to terms with the pain of not having closure and continues to feel frustrated and hurt by the situation.
Meanwhile, Maggie Hundshamer-Moshier was diagnosed with breast cancer and was “very scared,” according to her. wrote.
Many friends he interacted with regularly before his diagnosis slowly disappeared from his life. At first it wasn’t very noticeable, but over time he realized how many had disappeared.
She said: ‘My first instinct was sadness, which then turned into anger and resentment. It became easy to wonder why other people’s lives kept moving forward while mine seemed to be stagnant. I never stopped to take the time to realize why they may be absent.
“At that moment it was difficult to see past my own pain and realize that the people I loved were also trying to protect themselves.”
They were afraid of losing her if she didn’t get better.
There were too many questions they didn’t feel comfortable asking, for fear of appearing insensitive.
And it was painful for them to see someone they loved suffer so much. The situation reminded them of a past loss and they were not prepared to experience the same pain again.
Another unnamed patient described on Reddit the feeling of feeling cheated after his cancer diagnosis as “shocking and confusing” and “just not something I could imagine doing.”
They said: ‘(My group of close friends) also collectively ignored my 30th birthday, which was just a few months after my diagnosis… This for me negates the “they didn’t know what to say” excuse. It doesn’t take much eloquence to text a friend “happy birthday.”
They said that now, about three years after starting treatment, the abandonment still hurts them and even makes them angry.
They added, “Honestly, I’m not sure telling you now that cheating on me was incredibly painful would yield productive results.” But at the same time it seems wrong to me that they assume absolutely no responsibility.”
Ms. Selby was surprised to discover, after first hearing about it from her current patient, how widespread this problem is. She said that since she works in the medical field, patients are more likely to talk to her about their physical problems than their emotional ones.
She said: ‘This is not just someone’s imagination of feeling abandoned. It’s happening to patients across the country at a time when, frankly, they need physical and emotional support from their friends and family.