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It is estimated that by 2050 more than 13 million Americans will suffer from dementia, more than double the current number.
The disease robs patients of their mental faculties, leaving them with difficulty speaking, expressing themselves and understanding others.
And while communicating with someone suffering from the disease can be challenging, experts are seeking to help families connect with their loved ones.
Researchers have revealed a list of 16 things that should never be said to a dementia patient because they could cause stress or confusion.
It is estimated that by 2050 more than 13 million Americans will suffer from dementia, more than double the current number (stock)
Dana Eble, outreach manager for the Alzheimer’s Caregiver Network in Detroit, Michigan, who was not involved in the list, said Fox News‘Most people don’t have regular interactions with people living with dementia, so it can be difficult to know what to say and what not to do and how to behave.
‘Unfortunately, even the most well-intentioned interactions can lead to stress or confusion in someone experiencing cognitive decline.’
He full listpublished for the most part in January of this year, is revealed below:
1. Don’t you remember?
Experts put this at the top of the list of questions that should never be asked to a patient with dementia.
They warned that it could force the patient to admit that he or she does not remember an event or conversation, making him or her feel uncomfortable, stressed or embarrassed.
The Alzheimer’s Society also warned online that this could make them feel like they were “being tested”.
Instead of asking this question, experts recommended starting a statement with “I remember when” before continuing.
In this way, the patient can search for a memory calmly, without feelings of stress or shame, experts say.
2. ‘I just told you that…’
The second most important thing you should never do to a person with dementia is remind them that they’ve asked themselves the same question, experts said.
Patients may do this because of short-term memory loss or because they have difficulty expressing a particular emotional need or desire.
People with dementia may have difficulty remembering events or expressing a memory.
Experts warned that reminding them that they just asked the question will not help them remember it next time, but will instead remind them of their condition, which can be distressing.
They add: “Keep in mind that for them, this is probably like the first time they’ve asked the question.”
Instead, families were advised to respond to repeated questions calmly and patiently and in an even tone of voice.
In cases where someone feels they need a break, experts said it might be best to remove themselves from the conversation.
3. ‘Your brother died ten years ago’
A hallmark of dementia is difficulty remembering events, including deaths within the family that occurred years (or decades) ago.
“Being reminded of the death of a loved one can be very painful and they may react as if they are hearing the news for the first time,” the Alzheimer’s Society said.
Instead, they recommended telling them about the person they’re talking about and then distracting them by moving on to a new topic.
It might also be worth asking the person how they feel, especially about a particular person or family member.
4. Let me do that for you
Experts say one of the hardest parts for those with dementia is realizing they can no longer perform tasks they once did with ease.
Christina Chartrand, vice president of Senior Helpers, a Florida-based home care company, said: ‘Often, well-intentioned people can take on tasks prematurely without asking or assessing whether they are needed, which can diminish a person’s sense of autonomy.
‘Rather than assuming they can’t do something, it’s more respectful to offer help and let them tell you if they need it, and allow them to continue doing the things they can for as long as possible.’
Experts have suggested that dementia rates will rise in the United States. But a study published in November 2022 suggested otherwise, saying that the country’s dementia rates had actually declined by a third over the past decade.
But the researchers, from the California-based RAND organization, did observe a slight increase in cases among women.
5. ‘You are wrong’
People with dementia can often confuse facts, events or words due to their condition.
But experts say you should never tell someone affected that what they said was wrong, adding that trying to correct them will likely only make them angry.
Instead, families are advised to keep the peace and not correct them.
“Keep the peace,” said Dr. Elizabeth Landsverk, a geriatrician in California. “People with dementia don’t need to be corrected when they think it’s Tuesday the 13th and not Monday the 1st.”
6. ‘Let’s have a cup of tea now, and then we can take a nice walk and have lunch and something else at that café you like next to the big church in town.’
Long and complex sentences are not recommended for people with dementia, experts say.
They can often be difficult to understand, even for someone who does not have the condition, and can be difficult to process because they express several ideas at once.
Instead, people should use short, simple sentences to clearly express their ideas or give directions or instructions.
The Alzheimer’s Society adds: ‘Avoid talking too much in noisy or crowded environments and wait until you have the person’s full attention before starting.
Some well-meaning comments can upset people with dementia, experts suggest
‘During a conversation, give the person enough time to process what you are saying.’
7. What did you do this morning?
Experts say people should avoid asking patients open-ended questions about their past.
“It can be stressful for a person with dementia not to remember the answer,” says the Alzheimer’s Society.
‘While it may seem polite to ask someone how their day was, it’s better to focus on what’s happening in the present.’
Instead of asking the question, experts said you should talk briefly about your own day and then allow time for your family member to respond.
8. ‘You seem to be fine’
Experts say symptoms and experiences of dementia can vary widely among those affected.
“Society often has a preconceived notion of what dementia looks and acts like, and if someone doesn’t fit that stereotype, it can be tempting to use this phrase as a compliment,” said Adria Thompson, a licensed speech-language therapist in Massachusetts.
‘However, this phrase can belittle the individual’s daily struggle and experiences in this regard.’
9. Do you recognize me?
It can be distressing for people with dementia to be asked if they remember someone, especially if they are close to them.
The Alzheimer’s Society says online: ‘Remember that they may also find it upsetting not to recognise the people around them.
‘Asking the person if they know who you are may make them feel guilty or anxious if they don’t remember, or offended if they do.’
Instead, they recommended greeting the person with dementia with a “warm hello” and maintaining a friendly tone.
Someone could also tell their name and relationship to them, they said, to help the patient.
10. ‘I’ll help you use your little spoon there, master?’
Experts say that, in general, you should avoid talking to a person with dementia as if they were an elderly person or a child.
This includes adopting a high-pitched tone of voice and using words like “love” and “darling,” which can come across as condescending and childish.
Instead, they said it might be better to speak more slowly than usual or lower your tone if that helps the family member.
“Some people like to be called ‘love’ or ‘darling,'” the Alzheimer’s Society said, “but unless you know the person, it’s usually best to use their first name. This helps to keep their dignity intact.”
11. ‘You don’t make any sense’
It is important not to criticize the communication of a person with dementia because this can damage their self-esteem, experts said.
Instead, they suggested that people should be patient and make an effort to understand their perspective.
12. ‘You’re being difficult on purpose’
This phrase may be seen as hurtful and derogatory by a patient with dementia.
Experts also warned that labeling a behavior as “difficult” could increase frustration.
Instead, they recommended using “empathy and understanding.”
13. Using words like “bib” or “diaper”
As the disease worsens, some patients may end up needing around-the-clock care.
This may include using products for patients to help with incontinence or to make male moments easier.
But to avoid childish connotations, experts recommended using positive language for these products, calling them “cloth” or “apron” instead of “protective underwear,” for example.
14. ‘That’s not how it happened’
This can also create a confusing atmosphere at home and increase the patient’s distress or discomfort.
Instead, experts again say it’s best not to correct their mistakes and recommend gently guiding them toward the correct answer, if possible.
15. ‘Do you want to (insert activity)?’
In some cases, people with dementia may feel confused when activities are phrased as questions.
Kate Granigan, a geriatric social worker in Boston, told FOX News: ‘If you are the primary caregiver in charge of your loved one’s bathroom, shower, feeding or sleeping schedule, you should start by saying, ‘Let’s go to the bathroom, shower, kitchen.’
‘Adding that little bit of direction will help keep you on schedule.’
16. What would you like to wear today?
Open-ended questions can be distressing for people with dementia.
Instead, they recommended presenting two options for the patient to choose from.
For example, put a red sweater and a blue sweater and ask, “Which would you rather wear?”
