A woman who lost her father to brain cancer has opened up about how she grieved his loss even before he died, after the disease left the fit and healthy bus driver “like a child” in just 48 hours.
Peter Pattenden, 59, from Wodonga on the New South Wales-Victoria border, died in March 2020, just months after doctors discovered tumours in his brain.
Pattenden was once a fit and healthy bus driver who even appeared on the front page of his local newspaper after completing a 52km swim at Hume Weir in 2012.
He became known as the unofficial mascot of the Wodonga Raider when he dressed up as a Viking and played his electric guitar to the delight of the crowd.
However, when Pattenden lost his balance while trying to put on a pair of socks in late 2019, his partner knew something was wrong and rushed him to the hospital.
Doctors attempted to remove the tumours during a gruelling 12-hour surgery at Royal Melbourne Hospital the following day.
He was then approved for six weeks of radiation and chemotherapy in an attempt to shrink the tumors before undergoing two weeks of rehabilitation.
The father of four lost the use of the left side of his body and soon needed help eating, using the bathroom and performing basic tasks.
Rachael Williams has opened up about how she had to mourn her father even before he died after being diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. They are pictured together after Pattenden enjoyed a meal at her home for the last time.
Peter Pattenden, 59, was the unofficial mascot of the Wodonga Raiders. His daughter has described him as a “character” and a much-loved bus driver.
Mrs Williams said her father went from strong and fit to a boy in less than 48 hours. Mr Pattenden is pictured in the center with his and Rachel’s three children.
His only daughter, Rachel Williams, 33, has spoken openly about her father’s final days, telling the Daily Mail Australia that his death ultimately inspired her to live life to the fullest.
Williams said his father went from strong and fit to “a kid” in less than 48 hours, in a transformation that surprised his loved ones.
They celebrated what would be Mr Pattenden’s last Christmas in the wellness room at the Albury cancer centre, on a day she described as both healthy and sad.
Mr Pattenden was eventually moved into hospice care, where the decision was made to limit the number of visitors he could receive to allow him to rest.
“You could see his head was hurting,” Williams said.
‘He was taking so many strong painkillers that his eyes were popping out of his head.
‘You could see he was really struggling with the amount of people and the conversations and having to stay awake for so long.
“At the end of the day, you just want them to be as comfortable as possible.”
Williams said she began mourning her father even before he died.
Mr Pattenden (pictured in hospital with his daughter Mrs Williams) was once a fit and healthy bus driver who even appeared on the front page of his local newspaper after completing a 52km swim in the Hume Dam in 2012.
However, when he lost his balance trying to put on a pair of socks in late 2019, his partner knew something was wrong and rushed him to the hospital.
“It’s really hard to process, it’s an emotional headache because you’re grieving for them but they’re still alive,” she said.
‘And then you almost want them to die because you know it will be better for them. I knew he had no life left. I knew he had no quality of life.
“He couldn’t get out of bed. You feel guilty for wanting everything to rush and happen, but if the inevitable is going to happen, can it happen now?”
Mr Pattenden passed away peacefully on 3 March 2020 at Wodonga Hospital.
Williams said his death forced her to reevaluate what she wanted out of life and pushed her to do things she was once afraid of.
“It opened my eyes a lot,” he said.
Loved ones celebrated what would be Pattenden’s last Christmas in the wellness room of the Albury cancer centre, on a day Williams described as both healthy and sad. She appears in the photo of her with her four children.
‘I was living in La La Land, day after day doing the same thing. It was like a slap in the face how quickly your life can be taken away from you.
‘No one expected my father to die and no one expected him to die that way, losing all his mobility and any independence he had, it was so unexpected.
‘So in my case, I learned that lesson and I don’t want my dad to die in vain. I want to change my life and do things I was too afraid to do and live my life a little bit more.
‘We ended up selling our house and moving from Victoria to Queensland. We sold our house there and bought a house online here.’
Ms Williams has shared moments from her “grief journey” on Tik Tok where he hopes to inspire people to share their own experiences of loss.
Pattenden is pictured enjoying the sunshine on her skin after spending three months in a hospital room.
TO video The video of Peter arriving home for dinner for the last time has had over a million views on TikTok.
Hundreds of people shared in the comments their own experiences of losing family members to the same brain cancer, called glioblastoma.
“I feel like more people should be open to talking about their grief because it’s that saying that we’re stronger together, if more people are open to talking about it and normalizing it and allowing people to feel what they need to feel, I think grieving would be an easier process for people,” she said.
“We live in a world where diseases like cancer are so common, it’s good to talk about it because it can mentally prepare people for something like this.”
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