I’ll start with a confession: Every once in a while, on a particularly boring night, I like to delve into my Instagram direct messages. Yes, the place where creepy guys go to leave me disgusting messages and photos.
I should know better. I mean, I can guarantee there will be at least one damn photo in there (why is it always the skinny ones?!), an unwanted offer to ‘hook up’, or just a guy writing to tell me. He has been pleased with my photos. Charming.
It is something very common, it has been for years, and no, I don’t find it flattering at all. But, as a woman who dares to write positively about sex and dating, I have become an easy target for these types of men.
So last night I found myself jet-lagged after a trip abroad, bored enough to dive deep into the cesspool that is my DMs. That is, the “other” folder where messages from people other than my contacts end up.
And wouldn’t you know? A particular case A disgusting message was staring right at me. It did not win any innovation awards. He was just another weirdo with a fake profile. photo wanting her to know how desperate he was for her to have sex with him.
‘My big bastard needs you baby.’
Wow, stop searching, I found the man of my dreams. Vomit.
As I was scrolling through the messages, I found similar examples of sexual assault and rage, more intense than usual, so I decided to take a break and check my feed.
A scroll through Instagram yesterday was a wake-up call for Mail+ columnist Jana Hocking, who believes hostility against women online has intensified since the US presidential election.
That’s when a more worrying issue arose. Four words that gave me a chill.
‘Your body, my choice.’
It wasn’t the first time I’d seen them either. This phrase is terrifying and has been spammed among women’s photos on Instagram in recent days.
This disturbing slogan – a twisted inversion of the phrase “my body, my choice” used by women fighting for reproductive rights – has become something of a rallying cry for misogynists rejoicing at the outcome of the recent American presidential election.lesson.
Since Donald Trump beat Kamala Harris last week, beautiful Instagram photos of candid women are being bombarded with “your body, my choice” in the comments section by men who worship people like Andrew Tate and see the Trump’s re-election as a validation of his toxicity. beliefs. It’s raping and terrifying.
Regardless of your politics, there’s no denying that since the election some horrible men who once hid in the dark corners of the internet now feel more emboldened than ever to say these things to women online.
Just a few months ago, an Australian high school was attacked because children had classified online students into offensive categories including “abduction material,” “one-night stand,” “normal,” “preordained” and “inviolable.”
They were children – not that that is an excuse – but there are men There are people who openly talk this way and there is no denying where this bravado comes from.
Trump’s infamous phrase ‘grab them by the f***’ and the multiple accusations against him did not prevent him from being propelled to the White House for a second term. due to a landslide. Young people, already exposed to Tate’s vile rants, see this and think, “This is cool now.” And they are growing in number.
A quick look at Reddit (I wouldn’t recommend it) shows that there are countless forums for men to express their toxic views on women. This network, which also includes social media accounts, podcasts, and YouTube channels, has been called “the manosphere.” Men go there to rant about how feminism is eroding their rights and also discuss tactics to “lift up” women, safe in the knowledge that no one will challenge them..
And by the way, these pickup techniques aren’t “buy her flowers and compliment her” curiosities. Oh no. They lean more towards the unpleasant side, like ‘neg her’. For those who don’t know, this means giving backhanded (negative) compliments to subtly lower his self-esteem, increasing the likelihood that he will sleep with you. Cringe.
Last week, a well-known American lawyer told me that he had been approached by several men’s rights groups after one of his divorce videos went viral. His response was “thanks, but no thanks.”
Donald Trump (center) is seen celebrating his election victory last week alongside his son Barron (far left), his wife Melania (right), as well as his vice president JD Vance and his wife Usha (back, right).
I fear things will only get worse with Trump as leader of the free world. How do I know? Well, I’ve experienced it firsthand. One of Trump’s most ardent supporters on YouTube constantly attacks me through his YouTube channel, which has moreHe has more than half a million subscribers, with his deeply misogynistic and disturbing comments.
A man who calls himself “Better Bachelor” has made a weekly habit of reading my articles to his audience and commenting that I’m “almost 40 and a slut,” that “I’ve hit a wall,” or that I’m going to ‘ die alone with cats‘. And what did I do to offend this complete stranger? I am a woman who dares to write about sex. The horror.
Judging by his creepy behavior and the fact that his vlogs seem to be filmed in a dingy basement of his parents’ house, I’m going to hazard a guess that I’m getting more action than him. So I just laugh at these videos. He seems a little obsessed with women having a voice in the media. Relax, friend.
Once upon a time, I would respond to creeps with a simple ‘fuck you’, but then messages like ‘you asked for it’ would come in and I soon realized there was no reasoning with these crazy people.
So get ready ladies, because I only see things getting worse. Much worse.
