Australian Tamara Sloper-Harding had just married her fiancé when she was asked to leave the country and enter a war zone.
The call came in the middle of their wedding reception in Manly, on Sydney’s northern beaches, on September 11, 1999.
Mrs Sloper-Harding soon set off for East Timor after marrying Adrian Harding, an army officer, just hours earlier.
His life changed forever the moment he arrived in the Southeast Asian country, now known as Timor-Leste.
“Upon arrival, tension was high and there was still a very real threat of violence, the country was still burning,” the former Navy veteran said.
Mrs Sloper-Harding (pictured) with her husband Adam (pictured) received the call of their deployment to East Timor in the middle of their wedding reception.
His life changed forever the moment he arrived in the Southeast Asian country, now known as East Timor.
Ms Sloper-Harding (pictured) was part of the Australian-led international peacekeeping force.
In 1999, after enduring centuries of colonization, occupation and invasion, the people of East Timor voted in a historic referendum in August 1999 to gain independence, ending 24 years of brutal occupation by Indonesia.
This occupation was reportedly responsible for almost 200,000 deaths.
Within hours of the vote, the capital of Dili was attacked by pro-Indonesian paramilitaries who had terrorized East Timor before the referendum.
Fires visible from space were started, entire cities were razed, and private buildings and infrastructure were destroyed.
An Australian-led international peacekeeping force, the International Force for East Timor (INTERFET), arrived to restore order in September 1999.
This was the situation in which Mrs Sloper-Harding, who joined the navy in 1987, found herself.
He witnessed disgusting scenes, saw photographs that cannot be unseen, and spent time with people who had gone through experiences we cannot even understand.
“On our arrival, tensions were high and there was still a very real threat of violence, the country was still burning,” Ms Sloper-Harding said.
“It was the smell that made it very real and the traumatized look in the eyes of the Timorese people that punished me,” he told Daily Mail Australia.
“I spent time with mothers who had been raped in front of their children before being held to watch their daughters suffer the same fate.”
After working in various positions, including administrative, staff and public relations positions, Ms Sloper-Harding eventually trained as an intelligence officer.
Their role was to collect and evaluate information to present situation summaries to guide senior officers in their decision making.
She said she was fortunate to have the opportunity to get out of the compound in Dili, get involved and spend time with the Timorese people.
‘I worked mainly at night and helped with the general’s morning duties, which meant I had time during the day (when I was supposed to be asleep) to go out and help in the community. Therefore, I often gathered my companions to visit an orphanage in the hills of Dili, an area called Dare, where many Timorese were hiding from the militia.
This connection sparked Mrs Sloper-Harding’s passion for the country and its people, which continues 25 years later.
Following her service in 1999, Mrs Sloper-Harding launched a volunteer-run non-profit charity, Friends of Soibada helping to rebuild a remote region in the mountains of Timor-Leste.
“One of my main motivations for joining the ADF was my desire to make a difference in the world and to help and serve others,” said Mrs Sloper-Harding (pictured).
Mrs Sloper-Harding developed an emotional bond by spending time with those who had lost their entire families.
‘So many orphans. So many horror stories. Young people who were forced to join the militia under threat. Even the photographic evidence of atrocities brought from the border by our troops and which I used to write my reports cannot go unnoticed. It was also emotionally confronting to see the effects on these young people, many of whom had children at home, after finding the children’s bodies in the wells.’
Mrs Sloper-Harding said it felt surreal: “It was almost like an out-of-body experience, I felt like I was watching a war film.”
She said that during her stay in East Timor she had a couple of near misses, but what shocked her the most were the atrocities committed against the Timorese people.
‘How could humans do this to each other? I was surprised by the strong feelings of hatred I have towards the perpetrators.’
As a result of what she experienced, Mrs. Sloper-Harding developed PTSD.
Mrs Sloper-Harding’s life (pictured) changed forever the moment she fell to the ground in East Timor.
Mrs Sloper-Harding (pictured left) says she was lucky to have the opportunity to spend time with the Timorese people.
The mother of four became very protective of her children.
‘I still can’t sleep and I have terrible nightmares. I have little patience for what I consider small first world problems.
Ms Sloper-Harding was inspired to found Friends of Soibada after being invited to speak to primary school children at Maria Regina Catholic Primary School in Avalon in 2009 about ANZAC Day and her experiences.
After their talk, the children wanted to help the people of East Timor.
“With the help of the teachers, we began the process to identify a school in Timor that Maria Regina could link up with.”
Fast forward to 2010 and the nonprofit Friends of Soibada was created.
“I hope we now have the trust of the community and the understanding that we are doing everything we can to help them,” Mrs Sloper-Harding (pictured) said.
The charity’s mission is: “Firstly, we aim to be the bridge between two communities, Soibada in East Timor and the northern beaches of Sydney,” Ms Sloper-Harding said.
Located in the mountains of East Timor, just north of Darwin, Soibada was once a prosperous town and educational centre.
But during the 25 years of occupation, the people fought for freedom, thousands of people died in combat, massacres and forced famine.
Mrs Sloper-Harding said the destruction set the community back decades.
‘The standard of living is no longer as good as it was in the 1950s. Although freedom has been addressed following East Timor’s 1999 independence referendum, this milestone alone has not been enough.’
Through various projects, Friends of Soibada supports health and medicine, education and teaching, arts and crafts, infrastructure and community planning.
“I hope we now have the trust of the community and the understanding that we are doing everything we can to help them,” Ms Sloper-Harding said.
‘Our goal is not to make change, but to facilitate it so that it comes from within the Soibada community. “We want to restore the dignity that was taken from them by the occupation forces.”
Mrs Sloper-Harding’s (pictured left) passion for East Timor and its people continues 25 years on
“Soibada’s friends helped give me a reason to live,” said Mrs Sloper-Harding (pictured, second from left).
Ms Sloper-Harding travels to Timor Leste twice a year with volunteers helping to make a real impact on the ground.
He said people on Sydney’s northern beaches have benefited from their involvement.
‘Children in our schools are learning to appreciate what they have and also the difference they can make in the lives of others with small acts of kindness.
“I think our greatest achievement is the relationship between the northern beaches and Soibada.”
For these volunteers, their experience is often life-changing and they make a genuine difference to the lives of people who have been through the unimaginable.
One volunteer, Kerry, said: ‘Before I went to Soibada I was excited, confused and anxious. I’m not sure if my presence made a difference, but it opened up something in me that I never thought I had and that was that passion, love and giving are some of the most important things anyone can bring. Soibada has filled a void that I didn’t know was there and completed me.’
The future plans of Amigos de Soibada?
“Over the next few years, if our programs are successful, the people of Soibada will become self-sufficient and will no longer need our help, but will always have our support and friendship,” said Mrs Sloper-Harding.
Friends of Soibada’s involvement has also helped Mrs Sloper-Harding deal with her demons.
‘Veterans find it difficult to maintain a sense of purpose when they leave the ADF. This has helped me have a reason to live.”
Mrs Sloper-Harding has made a real difference to many lives with the help of volunteers and encourages them to get involved and help her continue her work.
For more information about volunteering with Friends of Soibada, visit their website: www.amigosofsoibada.com
