I woke up this morning with my loved one in my arms, while they tenderly licked my ear.
“Good morning, dear,” I whispered. ‘I love you a lot.’ I got up and, following me into the sunlit living room, we planted ourselves on the couch and lay looking into each other’s eyes.
This ecstasy of worship is how we begin each new day. Because finally, at 53 years old, I discovered the love of my life and I am living until the last moment of him.
I’m not talking about Terence, my tall, dark, handsome boyfriend. He had left for the office hours before. No, the subject of my devotion is Pimlico, my blue greyhound, the hound I dreamed about for decades before acquiring him six years ago in October. Because I’m a DINKWAD and that’s how I roll.
Hannah Betts with her boyfriend Terence and their blue hound Pimlico
You know, DINKWAD, the acronym for “double income, no kids, one dog” couples. Firstly, we had YUPPIE (‘young professionals on the rise’). Then we had LATs (‘couples living together long distance’). We’re familiar with DINKs (‘double income, no kids’) and now we have DINKWADS: DINK plus Rover, which makes three.
New research from charity The Guide Dogs For The Blind Association reveals that we DINKWADs make up 15 per cent of all British dog owners; Even more so in our area of South London, where raising a dog is much more common than raising a child.
Nearly half of this 15 percent say they are delaying parenthood in favor of their furry friends. Among the 20-, 30-, and 40-something owners in my circle, I’d say they’re postponing parenthood altogether in favor of puppy love. Goodbye, school gate dramas. Hello doga (yoga for dogs) and vet fees.
My friend Sophia, 39, is a good example. Despite having frozen her eggs a few years ago, she has decided that her destiny is Dennis, the Parson Russell terrier, and not a baby. He arrived 78 hours ago and she is already lost.
Among younger couples, being DINKWAD has become an aspiration. Click on social media and watch attractive, childless couples lounge in pristine white interiors while some handsome Fido enjoys being the apple of their eye.
Here it is @life.with.a.terrestrial.cloud bragging to her 1.46 million YouTube subscribers about “finding fulfillment,” “a community of silly people,” and “traveling the world” with her smiling Samoyed dog Boomer and her husband.
YouTube star Charishma Cohen, aka Life With A Landcloud, who has 1.46 million subscribers, with her Samoyed dog Boomer.
I am particularly in love with @MattAndOmar jumping for joy in his pants, waving his little dog Yvie’s little limbs on TikTok with the words: “When we remember, we will be a DINKWAD family forever.”
The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association found that half of DINKWADs choose a holiday because they can take care of them, while 44 per cent would rather spend time with their dog than go out with friends (guilty as charged).
More than three-quarters consider caring for a dog one of life’s most satisfying experiences (more so than becoming an aunt or uncle, or getting a promotion), while 42 percent said they got more excitement from teaching their dog to sit than meeting their new baby (no comments).
In fact, I love kids and I’m also a committed PANK (‘professional aunt, no kids’). However, I never felt the desire to have a family of my own: to own a canine watch instead of a biological version.
After almost a decade together, people still wonder if Terence and I could “date.” At 53! The same thought! As dog owners, rather than puppies, we can socialize, travel, and embark on life’s adventures without a thought.
Pim loves to spend the night sleeping on her baby if we want to attend an exhibition, opera or ballet (we don’t take her with us everywhere). to the fellow dog obsessive Demi Moore), as she greets us with hysterical happiness at the end. Young children tend to be considerably less self-sufficient; Incredibly angry teenagers.
Plus, the research on guide dogs is right: having a hunting dog is wonderfully satisfying. I used to think I knew everything there was to know about love when, in fact, I just knew about sex.
Romantic affection is a petty and contingent thing compared to the epic force that is canine constancy. Canine love is the best love (loyal, simple and deep) and the vehicle through which we realize how vulgar and inadequate human emotions are.
This doesn’t mean that my infatuation with four-legged friends is any less intoxicating. I am fascinated by the silkiness of Pimlico’s fur, the sound of his trotting steps, the smell of his fur.
Her little head is never without a kiss of lipstick. I can interpret her barks, including the one that means: “Wrap me up against the morning light, I demand to be wrapped in a velvet blanket.”
Without children to spoil, I am the slave of my dog. And it’s not just me. Terence and I compete for Pim’s affections. (He wins.) She sleeps between us, the ultimate barrier birth control method. My boyfriend is now her boyfriend, which means she protests wildly if we attempt even the slightest contact.
We once had a dog therapy session over a weekend in Goodwood.
Our expert decreed that Pim is a “resource protector”, the resource in question being Terence. Our dog is a love slave, addicted to the three-way oxytocin (the bonding chemical) we’ve created in our home.
Still, Pimlico must be objectively beautiful, because even strangers succumb to its wiles. Weathered South London louts gush over his satin coat, raving about his long, bouncing limbs and natural, kohled doe eyes.
Hannah Betts and her beloved dog Pimlico at The Kennels in Goodwood
She has appeared on the covers of three national newspapers and starred in a fashion photo shoot for a fashion magazine, alongside a Hollywood star. When it looked like she was going to have puppies, the most fashionable people in London competed to have one.
Ultimately, Pimlico has given me tremendous pleasure in life in a way that, as a woman and a feminist, fathering offspring could have put me at risk, given that society still expects mothers to bear the brunt of raising children. children.
In 2009, then York University social scientist Dr Nattavudh Powdthavee looked at whether having children brings people joy. In an article in The Psychologist, the journal of the British Psychological Society, Dr Powdthavee claimed that the idea that parenthood promotes happiness is an “illusion of concentration”.
Instead, Dr. Powdthavee argued, there is “almost zero association” between having children and a state of satisfaction. Parents may appreciate milestones like a first word or a first step, but they mistakenly imagine that these bursts of euphoria trump the relentless monotony of caring for a child.
Their conclusion: “It is these small, but negative experiences that are most likely to impact our daily levels of happiness and life satisfaction.”
It’s true that Terence and I don’t seem to be as loaded as the DINKWADs are said to be. Still, we’d be even more broke if we had tweezers to take care of and were proud to identify as DINKWAD, despite the lack of real money.