Michelle Obama has shared information about how she and her husband Barack Obama overcome their marital problems, while also exposing ongoing body image issues.
While the former first lady, 60, and the former president, 63, celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary in October, it took them “a lot of practice” to learn how to overcome their disagreements.
Michelle gets candid about how they approach conflict in her new book, Overcoming: A Workbook, admitting that she’s “a lot hotter” than her husband and that it takes her a lot longer to be ready to unravel an argument.
She wrote: ‘In my marriage, it took us some time and a lot of practice to figure out how to resolve our disagreements.
It turns out that Barack is an on-the-spot problem solver. You like to intervene and try to resolve a relationship problem immediately when it arises.
‘I, on the other hand, run much faster and slower than my husband. I boil over with irritation and then have to gradually return to reason.
Michelle Obama has shared information about how she and Barack overcome their marriage problems.
The former first lady celebrated her 32nd wedding anniversary in October
“Sometimes my brain implodes at the beginning of a conflict, and the last thing I want to do is engage in an instant, rational debate about who is right or what the solution is.”
Michelle, who shares daughters Malia, 26, and Sasha, 23, with Barack, said the couple has taken a lot of practice learning to respond to each other, while also being considerate of each other’s stories and needs.
“Barack has figured out how to give me more space and time to calm down and process my emotions slowly, knowing that I was raised with that kind of space and time,” she continued.
‘I also learned to be more efficient and less harmful while doing that processing.
“And I try not to let a problem linger too long, knowing that he was raised not to let things fester.”
Elsewhere in the book, Michelle opened up about her struggle with imposter syndrome and her body image.
“I have lived with my fearful mind for over sixty years,” he wrote. ‘We don’t get along. She worries me. She likes to see me weak.
“She maintains a giant, overstuffed file folder containing every mistake and misstep I’ve ever made and is constantly scanning the universe for more evidence of my failures.
Michelle admitted that she is “a lot hotter” than her husband and that it takes her a lot longer to be ready to unravel an argument.
She wrote: “Turns out Barack is an on-the-spot fixer. You like to intervene and try to resolve a relationship problem immediately when it surfaces.
‘She hates the way I look, all the time and no matter what.
‘She doesn’t like the email I sent to a colleague. She doesn’t like the comment I made last night at dinner either.
‘She can’t believe he says such stupid things in general.
“Every day I try to respond to him. Or at least override it with more positive thoughts. But still, she won’t leave.
While Michelle described her fearful mind as being like “every monster I’ve ever met,” she revealed that she has a habit of pausing for a moment when doubts start to creep in.
“I’ve been practicing taking a step back and addressing my fear with familiarity,” she wrote.
Michelle’s workbook, based on her 2022 #1 New York Times bestseller, The Light We Carry, presents practical tools for meeting life’s challenges and becoming stronger in the face of uncertainty, obstacles, and doubts.
It was published on December 3.
Her first book, a memoir titled Becoming, was published in 2018.