A woman has revealed how she refused to swap beds with her plus-size friend while on holiday – but is now being branded “unreasonable”.
The woman in her 30s, from the US, also took to popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to unravel the details of the dispute.
She explained how the dispute over room allocation had started, which made her friend cry.
But readers were left bitterly divided in the comments over who was really wrong.
The woman in her 30s, from the US, also took to popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to unravel the details of the dispute.
The post, which was shared earlier this week, began with the anonymous tourist revealing that she was going on vacation with four friends, all women in their 30s and 40s.
She explained: ‘We go every year and we always use a random selection tool to help us choose who gets which dorm. The tool assigns the order in which we can choose. I got the third option and my plus size friend, Marie, got the fifth option.
‘The first three of us chose the queen-size beds. The other two had two single beds and had to share a room. Yes, it sucks, but that’s why we left it to chance so no one can complain.’
The exasperated woman continued: ‘Marie asked me privately if we could move so she could have the queen-size bed. It’s a large size, but in my opinion it’s not so big that it wouldn’t fit a single bed.
‘I have personally lost over 100 pounds and at my biggest I was bigger than Marie is now. I never asked to change beds when I was older.
‘That’s why I said no. She started crying and told me that I was being unreasonable and that I, of all people, should understand.
“I understand, but it’s also my vacation and I’ve worked hard to be in a body I’m comfortable with. I don’t feel like I have to give up my spot to accommodate her, when she can still fit into the space.” double bed.’
The original author later edited her post to add more context.
The Reddit post was flooded with comments and readers were left bitterly divided on the matter. On the one hand, there were many who called her an asshole.
She explained: ‘We agreed beforehand that the two people who had the twin beds would pay $75 less than the rest of us. It’s too expensive to get a place with five bedrooms and five queen beds.
‘He doesn’t have any mobility problems or other disabilities that I know of.
‘She never explicitly offered me the $75, but I honestly can’t imagine she didn’t have that in mind when she asked for change. She is not the monster many of you assume she is.
After the general uproar over the comments, the woman continued: ‘Many people suggested that it might be more due to their discomfort with sharing a room and not so much with being out of bed.
‘That would make a lot more sense to me. When I was older, I snored and was very embarrassed to have to sleep in a room with someone.
‘Many also suggested that I lack empathy. It’s true, I don’t feel empathy. It’s a long-standing issue with my mental health and that’s why I often post on this account asking for help.
‘I don’t want to be a fool, so I rely on honest people to call me out. “So I appreciate it, even though a lot of people who said these things were rejected.”
But on the other hand, some readers argued that the woman wasn’t actually the one in the wrong.
The Reddit post was flooded with comments and readers were left bitterly divided on the matter.
On the one hand, there were many who called her an idiot.
One person wrote: ‘Hot shot. YTA. She’s embarrassed, she’s coming to you from a place of vulnerability and your response was, “tough luck fat man, you should work as hard as I do to be in a body you’re comfortable with.”
“People make up a lot of drama about their rooms on vacation; it’s about the memories you make with the people you’re traveling with, not the time you spend alone in your room.”
‘This isn’t really a question of being an AH. It is a question of values. What do you value more: your friendship with this person or sleeping in a queen-sized bed for a few nights?
A second person wrote: ‘YTA. Random room selection is a terrible idea. You should have known that at some point someone would have problems with the bed they received.
‘How difficult is it to ensure that everyone receives comfortable accommodation, even if it means paying more?
“Also, many double bed frames have a weight limit of 250 pounds, which means it’s not that a plus-size person doesn’t want to sleep in a double bed, but rather that their weight exceeds the weight limit of the bed.
She explained how the dispute over room allocation had started that left her friend crying (file image)
Marie may have been afraid of breaking the bed or undressing in front of someone else, so she approached you and asked you to change her.
‘As someone who had once carried more weight, she believed you would understand her fear. Instead, you invalidated her fear.
Another added: “Yes, for no other reason than you HAD to mention your weight loss in your story, which to me means you now clearly have no empathy for someone who struggles with their weight, and you’re supposed to be their friend.” .
A fourth person commented: ‘YTA for having a superior and smug attitude about her weight loss. YTA for belittling your friend. I don’t give a damn about beds; you should leave her so she can find some real friends.
But on the other hand, some argued that she was not wrong.
One person wrote: ‘NTA. This is the agreed upon method for determining beds. If you don’t like the results, then you shouldn’t have accepted the setup. Plus, there’s absolutely no reason for her to demand anything bigger than a twin.
Someone else commented: ‘NTA. You all have an established agreement to choose rooms. If she had a problem with that, she should have said something beforehand. It is unreasonable to expect you to give up your room.
A third person added: “Assuming the random selection tool is truly random, and assuming the five of you have agreed to undergo this process, NTA.”
Another wrote: ‘NTA, she agreed to this plan. When it didn’t work out to her preference, she asked him if he would change. It’s reasonable to ask her IF she will respect her answer, which she won’t.
