It’s been just over a year since Prince Harry published his cruel memoir Spare.
In it he portrayed his brother William as a violent bully and his sister-in-law Kate as a Stepford wife chosen because she “fit the royal mould”, unlike his beloved wife Meghan.
It was a painful experience for the Prince and Princess of Wales, who had no right to respond to these horrible insults.
Worse was to come when Kate was named as one of the ‘racist’ royals first alluded to in Meghan and Harry’s interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2021, after allegedly questioning future skin color of the Sussexes’ first son, Archie.
Often sitting next to Harry during his attacks on his family was his calculating and self-satisfied ex-wife, Meghan, a former television actress, capitalizing on her in-laws’ personal drama while taking millions from Netflix and other paymasters.
Meghan, pictured with Harry, plans to hire a PR guru in the UK to revive her position here.
No one has caused more damage to the institution of the Royal Family than Meghan Markle, maintains Amanda Platell
Now we learn that with her popularity declining in the United States, Meghan plans to hire a public relations guru in the United Kingdom to revive her position here.
All I can say is good luck with that. As those of us who love the Royal Family know, no one has caused more damage to the institution than Meghan Markle, still clinging to her title of ‘Duchess’.
Could she really be trying to reinvent herself in Britain while poor Kate recovers at home after surgery and is not expected to appear in public before Easter at the earliest? She is nothing short of abominable.
Only Kate’s immediate family and close associates know what’s really ailing her, but Harry and Meghan’s constant attacks can’t have helped alleviate her stress and anxiety levels in recent years.
So if I had the miserable job of being a public relations advisor to the Duchess and was tasked with the impossible task of rehabilitating her in a country she had rejected, my message would be: ‘Stay away. Forever.’
Onlyfans party girl Carrie Royale claims she sold a pair of Prince Harry’s underwear for $250,000 and is now threatening to release never-before-seen nude photos of the Duke of Hazard frolicking at their 2012 game of ‘strip pool’ in Las Vegas. Don’t worry, Harry, it could be worse. Imagine if you had ever dressed up as a Nazi!
RUPERT Murdoch will marry for the fifth time at the age of 92, with molecular biologist Elena Zhukova, 25 years his junior.
The rupee is worth 19 billion dollars. Do you ever wonder if it’s not your wit and charm that seduces younger women?
I bet your kids insist you have a cast-iron prenup.
- IF he were still alive, Strictly Come Dancing launch host Bruce Forsyth might have had something to say after Claudia Winkleman claimed the secret to the show’s success is that it is presented by women (her and Tess Daly) and that women have key production jobs. Very good, but without sex on the legs of professional dancers Graziano, Gorka, Giovanni, Johannes and Vito, what red-blooded woman would even tune in?
- MOTHER Sunday tomorrow and even though my mom died five years ago, I will put a card next to her photo, thanking her for her love and advice. The night before my wedding, she took my hand and she said, “It’s not too late to back out, Mandy, it’s not good.” Six years later, after her infidelity, we divorced. As always, she was right. I love you and miss you, mom.
ELLE ‘The Body’ Macpherson, almost 60, says what women wear makes little difference and being ‘a true expression of who you are is the secret to making your unique beauty shine’. Best advice, Elle, but while you prance around in your skimpy bikini, the rest of us 60-somethings are wearing sloppy sweatshirts, hoping the AA man is the answer to all our dreams.
- Over-hyped BBC presenter Amol Rajan mocks chancellor Jeremy Hunt being called a ‘fiscal drag queen’. Perhaps bejeweled backbiter Rajan, famous for his diamond earrings, ugly rings and thick gold chain, should be seen a little closer to home.
- CELEBRITY Big Brother’s Levi Roots, famous for his Reggae Reggae sauce, says he hopes his children are “inspired by their father”. Levi, since you had eight children with seven women, it may be best to leave parenting advice to others.
- UK anti-extremism tsar Robin Simcox says pro-Palestinian marches have turned London into a “no-go zone for Jews”. I live in a north London suburb with a large Jewish community and this saddens me. What do I say to my Jewish neighbors, who are afraid to even wear their kippahs and wonder why there is no room for them in our capital?
- F1 BOSS Christian Horner praises his wife, former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, for her support over allegations he exchanged sexy WhatsApp messages with a Red Bull employee. An internal investigation cleared Horner, who retains his £8million job. But the recipient of sexy text messages has been suspended. So much for feminine power.
- In a bid to show his softer side, Rishi Sunak reveals he climbs the stairs to make the double bed, stacks the dishwasher and cooks his children’s meals. Which leaves one wondering what his wife Akshata Murty does all day. I guess when you’re the daughter of a billionaire, you’re used to having staff to do the housework.
- SNAKE-HIPPED Peter Mandelson says fat Keir Starmer (20 points ahead in the polls) needs to lose weight because he’s horrified at the thought of a Prime Minister with man boobs? That didn’t stop our burly Boris Johnson from winning a historic landslide victory.
Fashion designer Stella McCartney, 52, says her new collection was inspired by the elegant tailored suits her father Paul wore in the Beatles’ heyday. Heck, in this baggy, oversized number, she looks like a homeless guy you’d offer five bucks to, making her promise she won’t spend it at Strongbow. Leave it at that, Stella: it’s time to stop monetizing your father.
ARISTOCRAT Constance Marten, accused of causing her baby daughter’s death, says she “did nothing but show love to my little baby” as she went on the run with her partner Mark Gordon. Legal issues prevent me from giving an opinion, but I will say that I cannot help but feel sorry for a woman whose four other children were taken in and whose fifth died in her arms.
Medical journal THE LANCET says it’s time to stop treating menopause as a “disease” and that the only people making money from it are the pharmaceutical giants selling HRT and other drugs. We finally make sense when most women, myself included, are navigating the Big M without realizing it and are sick of hearing our sisters bleat about their ‘menopause journey’.
SCIENTISTS claim men who eat a full English breakfast increase their “facial attractiveness”. Clearly, a survey of burly middle-aged men: what woman wants to have sex with a guy whose fat stomach rests on her thighs?
