TOM PARKER BOWLES: The six delicious Easter eggs worth shelling out for – and two I’d leave on the shelf

Well, they’re at it again, those vile chocolatiers. Not content with shaving 10% off the weight of a Galaxy bar and still charging the same price, they’ve now moved on to Easter eggs.

Yes, some of those ornate, beloved, and often overpriced ovoids that symbolize rebirth, new life, and the beginning of spring (aside from causing mildly nauseating dyspepsia toward the end of Easter Sunday) are subject to the infamous “shrinkage”. Same price, less chocolate.

Nothing is sacred? What would the Easter Bunny say? I hear Willy Wonka turning in his grave.

Because Easter eggs are one of the jewels of the British confectionery world. And one of the rare gastronomic specialties where we still reign triumphantly.

Of course, things have gotten a little more baroque since the simple days of my youth. Back in the day, a Crunchie Egg in a Crunchie Cup was the height of Easter ecstasy. With a Smarties egg. Obviously. Now, however, there’s an Easter egg to suit every taste and budget and while you can still get your chocolate for a wee pound, you can also splurge for £375 on 5 kilos of Swiss chocolate, with the Grande monster. Harrogate Bettys Egg.

But when it comes to chocolate, my tastes are decidedly cheap. Give me Cadbury instead of vintage, Double Decker instead of 90 percent black, and Maltesers instead of just about anything. That means fancy eggs have to be special enough to impress.

So I tested eight eggs, ranging from £3 to £80, to find out which of this year’s batch are worth spending on.

Go crazy for fruits and nuts

Cadbury Dairy Milk Fruit and Nut Inclusions Ultimate Easter Egg, £10

“Everybody’s a fruit and a nut,” as the old jingle went. I’m not sure it would pass muster with the new puritanical linguistic police these days, but Cadbury Fruit & Nut is the Grande Dame of the Dairy Milk range, an understated classic with that thrill of sophistication. This egg is studded with raisins and almonds and is as good as the bar.

You also receive ten individually wrapped “pieces”. The only problem is that last year the egg cost £10 and weighed 532g. This year you only receive 400g of egg. And it’s still £10!

Causing ripples

Aldi Milk Wavy Egg with Honeycomb and Pretzel, £4.99

The Belgian milk chocolate is perfectly fine, with decent depth and creaminess, while the honeycomb and pretzel add crunch and a touch of salt. It also looks a little different, the eggs are streaked with ripples. In fact, it could easily pass for a more expensive product, which I suppose is the point. But still very respectable.

Bitter…not so sweet!

M&S Salted Caramel Egg Martini, £9

This one is for adults, as it comes with a small can of salted caramel espresso cocktail. Which is just as sweet and cloying as one would expect. Think Baileys, but three times sicker. Ugh!

The chocolate egg is small and looks pretty enough, but the coffee flavor is unpleasantly bitter and overpowers everything, while the chocolate has no real character.

This is the kind of egg that might have looked great at the marketing meeting. But in reality, it’s a failure.

The bee’s knees

Daylesford Hive Showstopper Egg, £80

Wow! Showstopper by name, showstopper by nature. Seriously, this is a magnificent monolith of an egg, and one so beautiful – shaped like a beehive with its own chocolate yellow bees – that it almost seems a shame to devour it. This mighty wonder would form the centerpiece of any Easter table and, weighing one kilo, could feed a family of ten.

Everything is of the highest quality, from the creamy milk chocolate to the packaging and design. It’s not cheap, but it’s worth every penny.

Magnificent shine

Galaxy Minstrels Large Milk Chocolate Easter Egg, £3

Who doesn’t love Minstrels, with their crisp, shiny coats and creamy, rich milk chocolate centers. At Bellamy’s, one of my favorite restaurants in London, a small bowl arrives with the bill. Pure class. Because they have always been a cut above the norm.

The chocolate egg is a classic, if you like Mars milk chocolate. What I do.

But while last year £3 got you 243g of chocolate eggs and two bags of Minstrels, this year there are just 234g of eggs and a single bag of Minstrels. Old miserly Mars.

An Art Deco delight

Claridge’s Milk Chocolate Easter Egg, £65

It’s a beauty. As you would expect from Claridge’s, this legendary London hotel. Wrapped in monochrome Art Deco foil and tied with a black ribbon, each egg is handcrafted by the Valrhona Milk Chocolate Hotel’s pastry team and is enough to convert me to the chic cause of chocolate: rich, smooth and not too sweet. Inside, six hand-painted seagull eggs filled with praline.

A serious egg with a serious price. And a winner in every way.

Buttery shine

Pump Street Croissant 62 per cent Dark Chocolate Easter Egg, £34

“This chocolate egg transports you to the moment you tear off a crisp corner of fresh croissant in the morning,” purrs the blurb on the back of the box. Hmm!

It sounds a bit silly, but it comes from Pump Street, one of the country’s great chocolatiers.

The croissants (also baked by Pump Street) are ground into the base chocolate, alongside whole flakes and it works quite well.

The chocolate is 62% Ecuadorian-owned, clean and slightly bitter, while the croissant adds not only buttery deliciousness but also texture. OK, so it’s not cheap, but it’s nicely packaged and quite charming too.

Orange is ordinary

Terry’s Mini Chocolate and Orange Milk Easter Eggs, £3

What’s the point of a chocolate orange egg without chocolate orange. You know, the one you press, and it falls apart into neat segments.

Of course, the Chocolate Orange mini eggs are fine, if not a patch on the classic Cadbury original.

And although the chocolate egg is flavored with orange oil, it errs on the side of dull and tastes a little cheap.

Worse yet, not only did the large egg go from 230g to 200g. But they also increased the price by 13p on average. Shame on you, Terry. One to avoid.