A former nanny who has counted some of New York’s biggest billionaires among her clients has revealed the wild excesses that go on behind the heavily guarded gates of her multi-million dollar homes.
In Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant, Stephanie Kiser reveals the kinds of outrageous demands the city’s most privileged parents make on behalf of their spoiled children.
One mother even expected her to take lactation-inducing medications so she could breastfeed her baby.
“The mother didn’t want to pump at work, but she also wanted her son to only drink breast milk,” Stephanie explains, “so she was looking for a nanny who was comfortable with induced lactation.
‘She hoped to find “help” willing to try things she had read that might make non-pregnant women produce milk, such as hormone-mimicking drugs or herbal medicines.’
Stephanie Kiser has revealed the kind of outrageous demands New York’s most privileged parents make on behalf of their spoiled children.
Stephanie’s experiences echo those of Scarlett Johansson in Nanny Diaries
Stephanie wondered if the request was legal and flatly refused. But the problem with unregistered domestic work like this, she says, is that it is not regulated at all, so often anything goes when it comes to the job description.
And some requirements are more acceptable than others.
An interviewer asked her: “Are you comfortable running errands in a Porsche? They’re the only cars we have.”
Naturally, the answer was “yes.”
At just 22 years old and fresh out of college, Stephanie began to love the first family she worked for. She soon became accustomed to picking up the children from school alongside Steve Martin, Drew Barrymore and Robert De Niro.
But when it came time to move on, he discovered the strangest aspects of the industry.
A potential client, whom she calls Mrs. Robertson (who lives with her elderly husband, a former CEO, in a $9 million apartment on the Upper East Side), was looking for a nanny to be her “eyes and ears.”
“Nothing should happen that I don’t know about,” he told Stephanie.
Stephanie soon became accustomed to standing at school pick-up alongside Steve Martin (pictured) and Drew Barrymore.
Robert De Niro was doing his usual fatherly duty on school trips with his daughter.
‘We have one or two nannies available at all times. You will work five days in a row and take two days off. On the five days you work, you will live with your nanny.
‘When on duty, you’ll need to wake Frederick up at 6:30am to make sure he’s brushed his teeth, packed his backpack, and applied deodorant. The chef prepares breakfast at 7am and you need to finish it all off. He needs the nutrients for his busy day.’
Her duties would also include ordering any clothes or toiletries Frederick might need, supervising his extracurricular activities, and ensuring he showered at night.
“You’ll tuck him in when the lights go out at 10 o’clock,” her mother ordered. But Stephanie’s workday wasn’t over yet.
‘Once he’s gone to bed, you and I will meet to talk about his day. You should take notes throughout the process so you can keep me abreast of his moods, problems, or concerns. It’s all about communication.’
She added: “My son has recently started to rebel. He doesn’t think he needs babysitters anymore. He doesn’t want them…”
“No, no,” Stephanie said. “How old is he?”
Little Frederick was 17 years old.
The job paid $90,000 a year with a $25,000 cash bonus, payable after staying with the family for two full years.
“As I’ve said, my son doesn’t welcome his caregivers with open arms,” his mother told her. “He can be a bit hostile to them, but that’s why I’ve put the bonus system in place. A sort of ‘survivor’s award,’ so to speak.”
No nanny had ever made it this far. Needless to say, Stephanie didn’t take the job.
In another “nanny audition” – for a judge and his germaphobic wife – she had to shield two small children from contact with the outside world.
Their clothes had to be washed immediately after they were undressed. Neither of them had ever gone to play with their parents and the three-year-old had never had a single cold.
Children even took private gymnastics classes to avoid being exposed to other children’s germs.
Stephanie tested them for three long days, starting at 6.30am and ending at 6.30pm.
“When my mother asks me to please sneeze outside the apartment, I decide to go ahead,” he writes.
Her next adventure was with Digby, a five-year-old boy who shit his pants every day on purpose.
Digby was a “spiteful” five-year-old who shit his pants every day, on purpose (file photo)
“He has been potty trained for three years, uses the bathroom when it suits him, and is fully aware that this behavior is unacceptable,” Stephanie writes. “But he continues to do so, and his mother continues to make me hand wash his dirty underwear.”
“He’s so smart,” said his mother, Stefany. “He can’t stop what he’s doing to go to the bathroom. He was so focused on his LEGO creation that he literally couldn’t stop to go to the bathroom.”
But when Stephanie asked if she could throw away a particularly dirty pair of underwear, her mother replied, “No way. Those are linen underwear. Do you know how much they cost per pair? Put them in the sink and clean them.”
Digby had been sitting in his poop for some time now and some of it had hardened onto the fabric. Stephanie was told that the “correct” way to remove it was to scrape it off with her bare fingernails.
Stephanie discovered strange aspects of the industry.
Shortly afterwards she submitted her resignation and the nanny agency reacted with a sigh of resignation.
“The last nanny we hired lasted even less than you,” they told her. “One afternoon she went out to eat and never came back. Stefany thought she had been murdered or kidnapped, but the girl told us she was fine, that she couldn’t continue working for that woman for another minute.”
The family who invited her to work in the Hamptons for a weekend seemed a little more promising, especially after a Google search of her new boss, Mr. Boyston, revealed that he was One of New York’s 105 billionaires.
However, the conditions were even tougher than her previous jobs: 24-hour shifts. four days, and their last day in the Hamptons turned out to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
She and the boy were playing in the yard when Mr Boyston trotted up and asked if his son would like to go to his docked yacht, a five-minute walk away.
‘The child screams with excitement and then the father shouts: “Felipe!”
‘Within seconds a small, tanned man with broken English appears. “Yes, Mr Boyston?”
‘Mr Boyston orders the employee to bring a golf cart. Felipe disappears and suddenly appears at full speed and loads Mr Boyston and the child into the cart.’
He pointed up the hill, to an invisible spot in the distance, and said to Stephanie, “The boat is down there. Just follow the path to the water. Just run after it and meet us there.”
Stefanie wasn’t sure she understood, so she asked if he wanted her to chase the golf cart instead of just riding alongside them.
“Yes,” he replied, “so that you arrive a little after us.
“I can’t keep an eye on him while I’m on the boat,” he said by way of explanation. “I’m going fishing.”
Stefanie writes: ‘I’m 60 seconds into running after a fat billionaire and his baby when I decide today is the last day I’ll see these people.’
Wanted: Personal Assistant for Toddlers: How Babysitting for the 1% Taught Me About the Myths of Equality, Motherhood, and Upward Mobility in America by Stephanie Kiser is published by Sourcebooks.
