THE straight father of one punched his gay best friend in a fit of rage after discovering the victim had been telling friends she was having an ex-marital affair with him, a court heard.
Pub chef Thomas Roche, 29, punched married professor Neil Carr three times in the face during a violent face-to-face confrontation after he was told his friend, who is almost twice his age, had developed ” feelings” for him.
Police arriving at Carr’s apartment last July found Roche outside drunk, slurring his words and flailing his arms.
He continued drinking, even when officers told him to stop, before knocking over and breaking a wine bottle.
When asked, Roche said he did not want his sexuality to be “tarnished” in his small, cramped village of Hale, near Liverpool, and said he had only gone to tell Mr Carr to “drop things” and leave to gossip about him.
Married teacher Neil Carr (pictured right) was punched three times in the face during a violent confrontation.
Thomas Roche pictured outside Warrington Magistrates’ Court. His sentencing should be in May.
Mr Carr, who is in his 50s and is married to a local DJ and a male model and raises funds for gay festival Liverpool Pride, suffered red marks to his cheek area after the attack.
She later insisted that she had had a “casual relationship” with Roche for three years.
At Warrington Magistrates’ Court, Roche was found guilty of assault following a trial. The court heard the two men met in a nightclub eight years ago and developed a close friendship when they began to mix in the same circle of friends.
The incident happened at 11pm on July 3 last year after Roche was drinking beer at the house of friend Kerry Dexter and her partner Lesley Amos, who are close neighbors and friends of Mr Carr.
Mrs Dexter told the court: “Neil would say she was in a casual relationship with Tom and had called me to tell me she had feelings for him.”
‘I advised him to express them to Tom, but presumably his feelings were not accepted. Tom loved him as a friend, but as far as Tom is concerned, he is not gay. Then he won’t feel that way. However, Neil took my advice and Tom was not happy.”
Pictured is Neil Carr (left) with his husband Valentino (right) on their wedding day in 2016.
Police arriving at Mr Carr’s apartment last July found Roche (pictured) outside drunk.
She said she and Amos had been comforting Roche when his mother had suffered a heart attack, adding: “He was getting angry and went out to smoke.”
“We played music that Tom likes, trying to distract him from worrying about his mother, but Lesley said she could hear shouting and saw Tom was outside with Neil at the door. Neil tried to say to Lesley: “I could have known that “You would be behind this.”
‘Tom came in and said: ‘Neil and I were going to have a bottle of wine on the terrace, so I thought they were going to have a good chat.’ The next minute the police arrived.
Mrs Amos, a retired Metropolitan Police officer, said Roche and Carr were like “friends with benefits”, adding: “Tom went out for a cigarette and the next thing I heard they were shouting at each other.
“I went out and said, ‘Please come, Tom,’ but Neil says, ‘Fuck off, I could have known it was you.'”
‘Tom heeded my warning and I brought him back to the flat, but Neil was angry about something they said between them. Neil later apologized to me. Tom came back in and said, ‘Why did you do that? We were going to talk.’ I said, ‘If you’re happy to sit and talk, that’s fine.’
Pictured (left to right) Neil Carr, Lesley Amos and her partner Kerry Dexter (who gave evidence in the court case) and Thomas Roche.
“He came back out, said he was going to talk outside on the terrace and then we heard the police arrive.”
The court heard a 999 call Carr made to police in which he was heard saying: “I’ve just been attacked in my own home.” I managed to close the door on him. He knocked on the door and attacked me at the door. He used to be a friend.
“He knocked on the door wanting to see me and then started hitting me. He hit me three times on the head. He is at the door now. If you send the police, they will find him.
Giving evidence, Roche denied having any intimate relationship with Mr Carr, but admitted: “I love him like a brother and I would see him two or three times a week and go for a cup of tea.”
‘That night I went to Lesley’s flat because I was upset that my mother had had a heart attack. Then I heard that Neil had been saying that he had a sexual relationship with me, so I confronted him.
“I had had about two or three beers but I was sober. My intention was to go confront him to let him know that I don’t think it’s very nice that he goes around smearing my sexuality, basically making up lies. It’s a small town and I don’t want things to be said that aren’t true. I’m straight.’
He added: “I went to his door and basically told him I wasn’t happy.” Then he said, “Wait a minute,” and he went back in and grabbed a bottle of wine. We were going to go back and chat and I just said ‘Pack everything up’ but there was an argument with raised voices and the police came.’
Thomas Roche (pictured) punched his gay best friend Neil Carr in a fit of rage
Asked why he thought Mr Carr would accuse him of assault, he said: “I think he’s quite jealous, I don’t know what.”
‘I guess he wanted me to be with him. It’s not me. I like women. He is just a friend.
Prosecutor Lynne Sayers said: “The complainant says something had been going on between them for about three years and it is not something someone who was gay could make up.” Even if he had, why would the accused still be friends with someone who was hurling such an insult?
Roche’s lawyer, James Edwards, said: “The friendship with Mr Carr was reasonably long. “Whether it was intimate or not, there is an undercurrent and a reason why she confronted him about it.
“Clearly, they had some argument about it, but, as far as Mr. Roche is concerned, it didn’t escalate into violence on his part. Has Mr. Carr gotten you in trouble for getting rejected?”
Roche will be sentenced in May.