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If a man finds himself in a relationship that is moving too fast or feels too good to be true, he may be dating a narcissist.
A narcissistic abuse recovery coach has revealed the 10 red flags you might be missing that are telltale signs that your partner loves to bombard you, which is a type of emotional manipulation that a person employs to ensure that their couple feels attached to the relationship.
These signs could include showering you with attention and making you feel like their savior, ultimately forcing you to abandon your normal routine, your friends, and your family.
By understanding the intentions behind these red flag comments, you’ll be able to know when it’s time to make a quick getaway.
A narcissistic abuse recovery coach has revealed the 10 red flags you might be missing that are telltale signs your partner loves to bombard you. Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and The City has been called a narcissist for how she has treated men on the show
Red flags reveal a woman’s narcissistic personality that can cause you to enter a relationship prematurely and get involved too quickly before the woman uses your weaknesses against you.
A 2017 study Focusing on millennials, he found that excessive communication and intimacy were positively associated with narcissistic behavior and people with low levels of self-esteem.
1. It feels too good to be true
When entering into a “love bombing” relationship, a man may find that she showers him with an excessive amount of love, care, attention, and compliments.
She will give you everything you need to feel worthy, something no other woman has ever done.
But according to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach, Liliya LabontéThis is the first sign that the woman is taking advantage of your weaknesses.
2. The relationship is moving too quickly
If after two weeks, you and her are already calling each other ‘soulmates,’ ‘your person,’ or ‘your other half,’ these could be red flags, depending on the National Domestic Abuse Hotline.
Labonté warned in a TikTok video that it is not normal to say these comments too soon or too quickly.
“The love bombing person may seem like the perfect match, but in reality, they are creating a false environment to make it seem like they are the right person for you,” said Devyn Simone, Tinder’s resident relationship expert. Cosmopolitan.
3. She will activate the ‘savior’ in you
A woman will activate the ‘savior’ in you with comments like: ‘Where have you been all my life?’, ‘You are the man I have been praying for all my life’, ‘No one has ever made me feel this way.’ way,” “I can really trust you,” or “I can really be myself with you.”
Suddenly, you’ll feel like their savior. ‘These women will always look for the PHIL (protector, hero, integrity, love)’, warned Labonté.
She goes after “the man who wants to save the woman, the man who doesn’t see the woman as a predator, but that’s what these people are,” Labonté continued.
These narcissists are predators and will see you as prey because “you come from a place of need,” he added.
If after two weeks, you and her are already calling each other ‘soulmates’ and are talking about marriage and moving in together, these could be red flags that she loves to bombard you.
If she starts revealing past trauma by sharing too much about her abandonment issues or telling you that she’s been abused by her father or ex-boyfriend, you’ll be led to think, ‘Wow, she’s really opening up to me real quick.’ She must really trust me. I really have to make her feel safe.’
He might tell you that he has an addictive personality or that he is on a really difficult healing journey, but he does this to establish a level of trust.
You may feel the need to start opening up to her and sharing personal details about the trauma you’ve endured.
Again, it’s too early, but what you are doing is collecting an inventory about you so that this information can be used against you in the future, which is when the devaluation stage will begin, Labonté explained.
He went on to explain that the devaluation stage begins when the woman will use her flaws and weaknesses to dominate the direction of the relationship.
5. They constantly congratulate and validate you
She will shower you with praise saying things like, “You’re such a good father,” “I can’t believe your ex-wife treated you this way,” “You’re so handsome,” “You’re amazing.” in your work”, “you are very successful” or “you have healed a lot”.
These praises and validations put you on a pedestal that will give you that wow factor and leave you thinking that you are very lucky because no one has ever made you feel so good about yourself.
Like a drug, you’ll become addicted to that feeling, which will make it hurt that much more when it knocks you off the pedestal you’ve grown accustomed to, Labonté warned.
6. Unrealistic communication and care demands
Their unrealistic demands for attention and communication could include endless back-and-forth text messages, two-hour phone calls, and 2 a.m. conversations.
At first, you are in the honeymoon stage and this kind of attention will make you feel good because you will be surprised that she wants to be with you all the time and you will feel that your communication is really strong.
However, this type of endless communication is not sustainable and you will soon find that you are missing your normal routine of going to the gym, sleeping in, or spending time with friends and family.
Over time, this will undermine your personal life and before long you will start to forget who you used to be before the relationship and over time you and this person will become one, Labonté said.
At this point, they may begin to devalue and put you down, leaving you unsure of how to rebuild your life.
7. Affection and intimacy
You and this woman will have a constant intimacy: she will shower you with love and affection, especially if it is something you did not have in a previous marriage or relationship.
Because you have shared your traumas and insecurities with her, she will know that this is what you were missing and will appeal to your needs before using them as a weapon against you.
“If you reject the advances of a person who loves to bombard you or feels that you are not responding to their needs, they may threaten or reprimand you.” Psychologist Alaina Tiani, PhD, said Cleveland Clinic.
“They want that constant reassurance that they are loved and worthy and this is due to their underlying insecurities.”
8. She will shower you with gestures.
She won’t necessarily shower you with gifts like a man would with a woman, but she will use gestures like traveling two hours a night just to make you dinner and take care of you when you’re sick.
It leaves you feeling like ‘who else would take care of me like that?’ but it is usually done with a purpose.
Unlike men who are providers by nature and would shower a woman with flowers, gifts and money, women are nurturers and will appeal to that aspect of their nature.
“At first, you may feel confident and excited because big gestures boost your self-esteem and make you feel important and desired,” Tiani told the Cleveland Clinic.
“But the ultimate goal of the love bomber is not just to seek love, but to gain control over another person,” he continued.
“Over time, these grand gestures are an effort to manipulate you and make you feel indebted and dependent on them.”
9. She will involve you in her family.
Very quickly, this woman will involve you in her family by introducing you to her parents, her siblings and her friends, making it difficult for you to leave her.
Labonté warned that he will use guilt to let you know that you are letting his family down by saying things like, ‘I already introduced you to my family,’ ‘I already told everyone about you,’ or demanding, ‘How could you do this to me?’
10. The commitment will be imposed on you too quickly
Shortly after starting the relationship, she will start talking about being in a committed relationship, getting married, and living together.
Something bad could have happened in her life and she could tell you that she lost her apartment and you suddenly offer to move in or tell her you have a free room.
Before you know it, she’s living with you, maybe she gets pregnant and you have a kid and suddenly you’re too entangled to leave, Labonté explained.
How to Leave a ‘Lovebombing’ Relationship
Compromise happens before you even have enough time to realize what happened to you.
“It’s better to walk away, say ‘Hey, we need to take some space, this is going too fast,’ and just see how these people will react,” Labonté said.
She might tell you that she understands and will give you space, but then you’ll start getting texts saying, “I know you needed space, but I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.”
In this scenario, it is important to recognize that you set a boundary and she does not respect it.
She might add that she can’t do this, that needing your space is “too painful” and will try to cut you off.
“Love bombers also resent any limits regarding access to you or your acceptance of their displays of ‘love,'” said professional counselor Tabitha Westbrook. health line.
“It’s like a tsunami of affection and they expect you to accept everything,” he added.
This tactic works by giving you FOMO (fear of missing out) and will trick you into returning to the relationship.
It will leave you wondering if you were wrong for needing space and wondering if you’ll ever find someone as cool again.
“Listen to your intuition,” Lil said in the video. “Just tune in and your body will respond if it feels too intense, too uncomfortable, and too good to be true.”
