If I ever get married, I’ll just elope. The thought of seeing my friends behave like we’ve seen at some “society weddings” lately is enough to make you say “I’M NOT DOING IT!” writes AMANDA GOFF

Call me old, call me old-fashioned, even call me jealous (I really don’t give a damn), but when did a ‘thong-inspired dress’ become appropriate wedding attire?

The answer is that it is not appropriate, it never was and never will be; At least, not in my book.

Yes, Dina Broadhurst, I’m talking about you. As an officer of the Fashion Police, I hereby declare you under arrest.

The charge? Wearing that wildly inappropriate red number to the wedding of Pilates queen Bernadette Fahey and real estate developer Jordan Sukkar last weekend.

Yes, you are beautiful. And under normal circumstances I would never think of telling another woman what she should wear (you should see my wardrobe!), but here’s the thing…

We are talking about a wedding. And at a wedding there is only one woman who should be the center of attention: the bride.

Before we continue, and I have a lot to say, let’s paint a picture of your dress.

It was the definition of a spectacular spectacle. Tight, sheer, goofy and almost completely see-through, I’m sure you caught a lot of eyes. You would have had every man present acting like a drooling schoolboy, which is appropriate given that Scots College was the wedding venue..

Everyone was talking, Dina. But they weren’t talking about your friend Bernadette and how elegant she looked in her 1920s-inspired Steven Khalil dress.

Instead, we were talking about your choice of clothing.

That’s fine for a boozy lunch at Totti’s. But on what was supposed to be Bernadette’s special day, I can’t help but feel a little sorry for her.

Did you want to do that? Did you mean to make your (admittedly fabulous) butt be the star of the show??

When looking at those photos, I must confess that the first thing I thought of was not of the bride or the groom. It was: ‘God, look at his body! Where is that dress from? And who is your coach?

Seriously, Dina, what were you thinking? This was a society wedding, not the Pacha nightclub in Ibiza. Guests are there to celebrate the newlyweds, not to admire your butt.

Then, when the dust settled on their big day, it all started to make sense.

This outlet reported that she had broken up with her boyfriend of eight months, appliance heir John Winning Jr, just hours before the wedding.

Ah, now I understand. John was your supposed companion… but you show up alone and people are going to ask questions. So, if everyone is going to gossip, why not give them something to talk about? Enter the transparent red dress…

No one loves a revenge dress more than me. There’s nothing more empowering than seeing a woman get up, dust herself off, and walk into a party looking like a million dollars. And trust me, your outfit has definitely earned a place in the revenge dress hall of fame.

But at a friend’s wedding, Dina? I think you missed the note: the day wasn’t about you.

Still, it would be unfair of me to single out Dina here. The “overly revealing” dress is becoming a trend at high-profile weddings, and there are plenty of other fashion faux pas to discuss.

Take a look at the sheer lace dress Melbourne socialite Nadia Bartel wore to a friend’s wedding; and Michael Clarke’s ex Jade Yarbrough showing off her underwear in a pastel blue dress at celebrity accountant Anthony Bell’s wedding to former cricket WAG Annika Martyn.

And who could forget braless Love Island star Anna McEvoy in a head-to-toe leg-baring blue jumpsuit at her friend Tammy Hembrow’s wedding in Bryon Bay last month?

There’s no denying it, these women look great…but it’s a wedding! Sorry to sound like a broken record, but it’s literally a day when we should all try a little modesty.

We have unwritten rules in society, rules that aren’t exactly legal, but that most of us silently understand. Rules like giving up your seat to older people, waiting patiently in lines, dressing for flights and trips to the ‘city’ (I told you it was old-fashioned).

But all of these women have broken the most sacred unwritten rule of all: never, ever upstage the bride. Ever.

I’ve never said “I do” – for reasons I’ll explain another time – but I can assure you this: I wouldn’t need to specify in the dress code “no visible underwear” because, frankly, my brides are classier than that.

Once again, it’s that unwritten rule: never upstage the bride.

But it’s a sad sign of the times that attention-grabbing social media fashion trends have taken over weddings. It was once a day for families and loved ones to celebrate the legal union of a couple. It has become an Instagram circus.

Guests now prioritize selecting their “content” over enjoying the moment. And gone are the days of hiring a photographer and videographer: Now the newlyweds are employing a team of social media strategists to make sure their TikToks are algorithm-ready.. Oh, and forget about hiring a makeup artist from the local salon. Today, the glam team at your average Sydney bridal party looks like the team at a Vogue photo shoot..

Everyone wants to get attention, to be promoted, to be seen. For the bride, it is excusable. For a guest? Unforgivable.

I’m sure a viral outfit, like a thong dress, can get a lot of likes and views. But it also detracts from the true purpose of the day: admiring the beautiful bride.

I’ll emphasize it again: women can wear whatever they want and no one should blindly tell us to “cover up.” But context matters. Feminism isn’t about stealing the spotlight at someone’s wedding. It’s not empowering.

For what it’s worth, Bernadette, I thought your wedding dress was gorgeous.